


Realize That It's Gone

by blurryfics



Series: Rose Colored Boy [2]
Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Angst, Childhood Friends, Conflicting Feelings, Denied Feelings, F/M, Fluff, Music, Mutual Pining, References to Depression, References to anxiety, Regional At Best Era, Romance, Romantic Tension, Slow Burn, Summer, hard decisions, he's a little shit, regional at best, there's a cat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-08
Updated: 2019-12-19
Packaged: 2020-11-26 16:57:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 45,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20933618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blurryfics/pseuds/blurryfics
Summary: It’s been three months since Tyler left for tour. The warm and carefree days of summer have just begun, and with them is Tyler’s return to Ohio. You’ve been eagerly counting down the days, anxious to know what will happen when you’re finally reunited with your best friend.But even despite your excitement, you can’t help the nagging questions in the back of your mind. You and Tyler have never been apart this long and a lot has happened over the past three months. Are things between you still going to be the same?





	1. Before You Read

Hello, everyone! I just wanted to include a few disclaimers & things to keep in mind before you read Realize That It’s Gone. It’s nothing serious (and most of it is a repeat of the warnings for Prove Me Wrong), but things I still figure are worth a mention! You know the drill at this point :)

> First and foremost, this is the second book in the Rose Colored Boy trilogy! If you have not read Prove Me Wrong yet, be sure to do that first so that you know what’s going on!

> The timeline is still a little bit wonky. What I mean by this is the timeline that the story follows does not match what actually happened! But, this is fiction, so I’m allowed to do that :)

> Same above goes for Josh’s hair! I know his hair was not blue until mid-Vessel era, but I like Josh with blue hair and wanted him to have for this series!

> The reader in this series uses she/her pronouns.

> I’ve never been to Ohio, and therefore know nothing about what people do there/what the weather is like/what grocery stores people go to/etc. All of this information is based off of where I live, and it may not be entirely accurate! (But again, this is fiction, so I can do that.)

> The point of view switches between chapters. This should be pretty obvious because it will either be written in second person (you) or first person (I) depending on who the chapter is focused on. Even chapters will be Tyler’s point of view and odd will be yours/the reader’s. However, Tyler’s POV will now be on Fridays instead of Tuesdays, as there isn’t a prologue in this series!

> There are recurring themes of anxiety and depression within this series, so please be wary when reading (there will still be individual warnings on the chapters). I know everyone experiences these differently, but like all other fics, they are based on my own experiences with mental health.

> And finally, as is mentioned in the teaser, the events in this story take place three months after those of Prove Me Wrong.

I think that’s everything! Enjoy Realize That It’s Gone :)


	2. Chapter One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: None
> 
> Word Count: 1995
> 
> Author’s Note: I can’t believe we’re already on book two! I’m so excited for all of you to read this one :)

You stared at the wall. Then the ceiling. Then the wall again.

Your brain was bouncing idly from thought to thought. Nervous thoughts. Happy thoughts. Sad thoughts. You were almost certain that you had experienced the entire range of human emotion in the last ten minutes.

You needed a distraction.

There were a couple kids outside, yelling to one another as they bounced their little ball along the pavement. The noise wasn’t particularly welcome, but the summer heat in your room was near unbearable without the window open. It was a small price to pay in order to avoid sweating straight through your shirt.

You wished that Carter still lived at home. After some help from your parents, he had finally buckled down and moved into an apartment last month. It was hard to not have him around as often anymore, but he hadn’t moved far which provided you with plenty of opportunities to drive over and hang out with him for awhile. It wasn’t quite the same as having him right down the hall, though.

He would know how to help.

Something crashed downstairs. With a sigh, you rolled off your bed and took the stairs down two at a time. Your mind was already full of possibilities of what Georgie could have possibly done this time. At least it would give you something to focus on for a little while.

Sure enough, one of your mom’s favorite plants had been knocked over right in the middle of the dining room. Dirt covered most of the hallway and from the looks of it, the nice pot that it had been in was cracked too. Georgie was standing in the middle of the mess, half covered in dirt himself. He turned to you with wide eyes when he heard you arrive.

“You buffoon!” you muttered as you scooped him up and removed him from the mess.

Georgie was a two year old ginger tabby that your parents had adopted for you shortly after Carter moved out. Their plan was to get a chill cat that could keep you company when you were home alone for most of the day. As you soon learned, however, Georgie was one of the most energetic cats you had ever met and he was constantly getting himself into trouble. You loved him, but he was a handful.

“Look at what you did!” you sighed, holding a hand out towards the toppled pot. “Do you know how upset Mom is going to be?”

Georgie simply let out a quiet meow and hopped up onto the kitchen counter. You carefully tiptoed through the mess to put the pot back in an upright position. As soon as you tried to lift it up, a large shard broke off into your hand.

“You see? You broke Mom’s favorite plant pot!”

He was too busy licking at his paw to pay you any attention. With an exasperated sigh, you shuffled off towards the closet to grab a broom. Your phone started ringing before you had even made it to the other side of the mess.

“Really? Right now?”

As annoyed as you were with the timing, as soon as you saw that it was Carter calling the frustration melted away.

“Carter!”

“Well somebody is happy this afternoon,” he laughed.

“Quite the opposite, actually. That’s why I’m so glad you decided to call.”

“I thought it might be a good idea to call and check in on you, with it being the day before Tyler gets back and all that.”

Tyler. That wasn’t something you wanted to think about right now.

“He texted me this morning.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. He said that they were leaving Maine and would probably be back tomorrow evening, but that was the last I heard. Service is probably bad on the road.”

“Probably. How are you feeling about seeing him again?”

You took a deep breath, “Nervous. Really nervous. Three months is a long time. He could be totally different.  _ I _ could be totally different.”

Carter started to say something, but you became too distracted by Georgie hopping back down off the counter and starting to eat the dirt that was still spilled all over the floor.

“Georgie!” you screeched, running forward to scoop him up into your arms. “Dumb cat.”

Carter laughed on the other end of the line, “What did he do now?”

“First he knocked over Mom’s favorite house plant.”

“Oh no, not the fern by the door…”

“Yes, the fern by the door. And as if that wasn’t bad enough - I still have to clean that up, by the way - he just tried to eat the dirt.”

“Alright, I’m coming over.”

“What?” you asked, eyebrows furrowing.

“It sounds like you could use some company, Y/N. You’re not fooling anyone. Should I bring Marenna over, too?”

You hadn’t realized how lonely you had been feeling until Carter offered to come spend time with you. Your shoulders hunched a little as you exhaled, “Yeah, that would be really nice.”

“Ok, I’ll fill her in while we’re on the way over. Try to keep Georgie out of too much trouble, yeah?”

“I’m trying, bud,” you laughed.

“See you soon.”

“Bye.”

The phone crackled a little as Carter ended the call. You set your phone on the counter before marching Georgie upstairs and putting him into the laundry room while you cleaned up his mess. There wasn’t much for him to get into trouble with in there, although you were sure he would find a way.

You thought about Tyler as you brushed all the dirt into a neat little pile. He had been really good about keeping in touch with you as he traveled across the country, often sending you pictures of the city that they were currently staying in or just updating you on what was going on. He even made sure to set aside time to FaceTime you at least once a week, sometimes more if he was able to. It had become a comfortable routine for you.

Now that he was coming back, you weren’t sure how to feel. 

* * *

“Georgie, no!” you called as he took off for the open front door.

“Hey, not so fast!”

Carter scooped the cat up into his arms before he could make it to the door and held him to his chest, much to Georgie’s dismay. Behind him, Marenna shut the front door so that he wouldn’t have another chance to escape.

“I swear we need to put him on a leash or something,” you sighed as you shuffled down the hall. “He tries to escape every time Mom or Dad gets home.”

“Georgie on a leash. Now that would be something,” Carter laughed.

“Y/N, how are you?” Marenna smiled, holding her arms out toward you.

“I’ve been ok,” you said, happily accepting her hug. “There’s a lot on my mind.”

You were glad to have Marenna back in your life. Ever since she and Carter had started dating when you were a sophomore, she had been like the older sister you never had. It had felt like a heartbreak for you too when she had broken up with Carter almost nine months ago, not that it really mattered anymore.

“Well, we’re here to talk you through it all.”

Carter placed a kiss to the top of Georgie’s head and tossed him back towards the ground. He landed gracefully and took off at a run towards the kitchen.

“I was actually in the middle of making myself some lunch, if you guys want to come sit in the kitchen,” you said, gesturing over your shoulder.

Carter nodded as he kicked his shoes off near the door. You watched him for a moment before rushing forward and throwing your arms around him.

“Woah, you scared me,” he laughed for a moment before returning your hug.

“Thanks for coming over here, Car,” you mumbled into his chest. “It means a lot to me. You too, Ren.”

Marenna reached out and ran a hand along your hair, “Of course, Y/N. You’re like a sister to me.”

You finally released Carter from your grasp and headed back towards the kitchen. Georgie had already made his way to the top of the fridge and was carefully surveying you as you began to pull ingredients from cupboards.

“Did you two want anything?” you asked as they took seats at the other end of the counter.

“We just had lunch, so we’re ok,” Carter answered.

“I wouldn’t mind some water, though.”

You filled up a glass of water for Marenna and handed it to her, which she accepted with a smile. Her eyes watched you over the rim of the cup as you made yourself a sandwich. Next to her, Carter had leaned forward and clasped his hands together. 

“So, Tyler comes back tomorrow.”

You met Carter’s eyes for a moment before casting them back down toward your food, “Yeah.”

“How are you feeling?”

“I think the easier question is how am I  _ not _ feeling.”

Marenna chimed in then. “Ok, how are you not feeling?”

“Excited.”

You blurted it out so fast that you hadn’t even realized what you had said at first. Marenna was looking at you with wide eyes and Carter’s eyebrows were knit together. Your mouth fumbled for a moment as you tried to form words.

“No, I didn’t actually mean - I don’t mean that. I swear.”

“It’s ok if you aren’t excited, Y/N. It’s been what,” she turned to Carter, as if to confirm, “three months?”

Carter nodded, “Exactly. You can lay out all your feelings, if you need to, Y/N. You’re safe with us.”

You took a deep breath. “I mean, he’s seemed the same on the phone. We crack the same jokes. He gives me the same compliments. It’s just like he’s here, except he’s halfway across the country at any given moment. I guess I’m worried that we’ve settled into this routine of online communication and we won’t know what to do once we’re together in person again.”

“I have a question,” Marenna said.

“Yeah?”

You ripped off a little piece of turkey and carried it over to the fridge, holding it up to where Georgie was still perched and watching. He sniffed at it for a moment before carefully taking it from your hand. You gave him a little head scratch before starting to put the rest of the ingredients away.

“You and Tyler hung out in person before he left, right?”

Your eyebrows furrowed, “Yeah.”

“And then you shifted from being in person all the time to texting all the time, right?”

Carter nodded, obviously seeing where Marenna was going with all of this. You were still lost.

“Right.”

“Was that hard?”

“Not really.”

“So what makes you think the switch back won’t be just as easy?”

You scoffed, “It’s hard to have awkward silence when you’re texting.”

“But didn’t you FaceTime, too?”

“Ok, I get your point.”

“Besides,” Carter added. “You two have been friends for longer than Marenna and I have been together. We were apart for six months with minimal contact and came back together like it was nothing.”

Marenna leaned over and bumped her shoulder into Carter’s. He smiled and pressed a kiss to her temple. You simply scrunched up your nose and took a bite of your sandwich.

“You two are so in love that it makes me sick,” you mumbled around a mouthful of food.

Carter wrapped an arm around Marenna and stuck his tongue out at you, to which you rolled your eyes.

“I guess, um…” you trailed off. Carter and Marenna both directed their attention to you. “I guess I’m worried that I’m going to get stuck in the same cycle of having feelings for him that are never returned.”

Carter eyed you carefully. “Are you worried that you’re going to be stuck in the same cycle?”

Your jaw clenched.

“Or are you worried that you  _ aren’t _ ?”


	3. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: None
> 
> Word Count: 2416
> 
> Author’s Note: Chapter two! As always, thank you so much for all the support on the first chapter. I’m glad that all of you are just as excited to have the series back as I am :)

I stirred my noodles around in their plastic container as I walked towards the couch, nearly bumping into the side table as I did so. Josh looked up at me as I took a seat on the opposite end of the couch from him. He reached forward and paused the TV show that he had been watching.

“Glad to see you woke up,” he smiled, scraping up one of the final bites of his own food.

I muttered something incoherent before taking a large bite of noodles. Josh had been nice enough to pick up some thai food from the place by my old apartment while I was taking a nice, long nap. It was the second thing that I had done as soon as we arrived back in Columbus, right after setting up my new bed so that I would actually have a place to sleep.

Management had insisted that we move into a new apartment together, something about it being easier for us to work on the album if we were in the same place all the time. Josh had been on board from the beginning, but it took a bit of convincing for me to agree to it. The apartment they had suggested for us was nice - that much was obvious - but it was also twenty minutes further from Y/N. 

In the end, management had won.

“Did you sleep well?” he mumbled around the food in his mouth.

I watched him close his food container and set it on the coffee table while I stuck my fork in a particularly large piece of chicken.

“Yeah. Having the fan on was really nice, the air conditioning isn’t doing a great job.”

Josh’s eyebrows furrowed, “Is it even on?”

“Didn’t you turn it on?”

“No, I thought you did.”

I laughed, “There’s our problem.”

Josh stood and picked up his empty thai container in one swift motion. His bare feet padded softly against the wood floors as he moved throughout the apartment. After a moment, the vents began to hum from the steady stream of cool air.

“That will help,” Josh sighed as he collapsed back onto the couch. A few strands of his hair were stuck down to his forehead.

I nodded and took a bite of food, not really in the mood for talking in my post-nap state. My noodles were still warm, which was a welcome surprise. I wasn’t entirely sure how long I had ended up sleeping, but based on the pink sky outside and the noticeable lack of cardboard boxes in the living room, it seemed to have been a considerable amount of time.

“Thanks for unpacking our stuff,” I finally said, breaking the silence.

Josh merely shrugged. “It wasn’t a big deal. Management dealt with a lot of the stuff from our old apartments and we didn’t bring much on tour, so it didn’t take long.”

“Still, you didn’t have to so I appreciate it.”

Josh smiled and picked a bit of fuzz off the couch, twisting it between his fingers until it fell to the floor. 

“Have you heard from Y/N?”

My shoulders tensed at the mention of her name. Josh was too busy picking more bits of fuzz off the couch to notice my reaction.

“I texted her that we were back in Columbus, but then I fell asleep and haven’t checked my phone since.”

“I thought she would be over here as soon as we got home. You know, helping you unpack and checking out the new apartment and whatnot.”

I relaxed my shoulders. “I thought about it, but I’m so tired that I figured I wouldn’t be much fun to be around. I’m going to call her tonight and see if she wants to do something tomorrow.”

Josh nodded. “That reminds me, I’ll be out with my family for most of the day tomorrow.”

“Cool. Thanks for letting me know.”

“No problem.”

Josh pulled out his phone and began to scroll through it. I continued to sit cross-legged on the couch, slowly making my way through my noodles. The apartment already felt a lot nicer now that cool air was actually circulating through the living room. Outside, the sky was slowly growing darker as the sun sank lower behind the hills.

Once my noodles were gone and my fork was clean, I headed back to my room to finish unpacking the rest of my belongings. Before I got too distracted, I grabbed my phone from where I had tossed it to charge on top of a box and checked my notifications. There were a few emails from management, a text from my mom, and - most importantly - a text from Y/N.

** _Y/N: _ ** _ Glad to have you back, Ty! :) I would offer to come help you unpack, but my parents are out at a dinner and Georgie can’t be trusted to be home alone :P _

At least I didn’t have to feel guilty for not inviting her over. I typed out a quick response telling her I had fallen asleep, put on some music, and began to unpack the bags of stuff I had brought on tour. The boxes of things from my old apartment could wait until later.

I hummed to myself as I slowly made my way through hanging up shirts, making sure to keep them organized by style and color. That was something Y/N had been insistent upon when I moved into my last apartment: keeping all my clothes organized. She had mentioned something about making it easier to pick outfits for shows, but I was pretty sure she was just annoyed by the disorganized mess that my closet had been in high school. If only she could see me now.

Maybe she could, if I wasn’t so nervous about seeing her again.

Being apart from Y/N during the tour had been almost impossible, even with our frequent text conversations and FaceTime calls. It was never quite the same as being next to her and hearing her laugh without the static of a phone call accompanying it. 

Man, I couldn’t wait to hear her laugh again.

My train of thought was interrupted by Josh knocking on my half-open door to get my attention. He was already peeking into my room, taking a look around at all my boxes.

“What’s up?” I asked, crossing the room to pause my music.

“I’m missing a box of stuff from my old apartment, and I figured the most likely place for it was in here. Do you mind if I take a look?”

“Go for it,” I said, holding an outstretched arm towards the mountain of boxes in the corner.

I continued to hum and hang up shirts while Josh shifted stuff around, looking at the messy labels on top of all the boxes. He eventually found what he was looking for and shuffled out of the room with a box in his arms, shooting me a quick “Thanks” as he went.

“Glad a box of stuff didn’t go missing,” I called after him.

“Agreed!” he answered, his voice now muffled by the walls in between us.

I started my music again and reached into my duffle bag for another shirt to hang up. Instead, my hand brushed against the smooth surface of an envelope. With a smile, I grabbed the edge and pulled it out from under the small pile of clothes that had accumulated on top of it. On the front was one simple word, written in the nicest handwriting that I could muster: Y/N.

I opened the envelope and dumped out the contents. The bundle of postcards fell onto the bed, landing with a quiet thud. I picked them up and removed the rubber band, taking extra care not to bend the corners down as I did so. Before I could fully process what I was doing, I sat down on the bed and began to flip through them.

In each city on our tour, I had made a point to pick up a postcard to bring to Y/N. The main reason was that they were cheap, but it also gave me an opportunity to write her a little note on each of them. I wrote about whatever had been on my mind that day: the show, some weird new habit of Josh’s that I had discovered, things I missed about home. Y/N loved sentimental things like that.

I finally reached the last card, one that I had picked up at a gas station on our way into town earlier that morning. While one of the crew members was refilling the gas tank, I had been in the backseat scribbling down my last note with only my knees as a writing surface.

_ We’re finally back in Ohio. It feels like I’ve been away for a lifetime. I can’t wait to see you again and hear your voice. Man, I’ve missed your voice. And you. _

_ I love you, Y/N. Sorry I never told you earlier. _

I frowned. Maybe that one should wait until a later time.

It’s not like the words weren’t true - they were, I loved her - but after being gone for so long, I wanted to test the waters before I confessed anything to her. The complications surrounding my feelings towards Y/N had landed me in hot water a few times before which was not a situation that I wanted to be in again anytime soon.

I wrapped the postcards back up in their rubber band and slid them back into the envelope, leaving the Ohio one out on my bed. Maybe if the feelings were still reciprocated, I would give her the postcard. If not, well, there were worse places in the world than a dresser drawer.

I set the envelope on top of my dresser where it wouldn’t end up buried under random decorations and other things that management had found in my old apartment while I was unpacking. Just thinking about her reaction to my gift was enough to put a smile on my face.

“What has you so happy?” Josh asked, once again popping his head into my room.

I shook my head, “Just thinking.”

“About?”

“Nothing important.”

“Alright,” Josh said, giving me a roll of his eyes as he casually strode into the room. “I had a question for you.”

“Sure.”

“Mark is having people over tonight to celebrate the end of the tour. He texted me asking if you wanted to tag along.”

My eyebrows furrowed, “Why didn’t I hear about this?”

“You probably did. When was the last time you checked your phone?”

I grabbed my phone and flipped it over, checking for notifications. Sure enough, there were at least twenty missed messages.

“Must have been distracted,” I muttered, more to myself than Josh.

“You in?”

“Yeah, let me get changed into something else and then we can go.”

“Sweet. I’ll leave you to it.”

Josh slowly wandered out of the room, typing something on his phone. I was still undecided on whether or not I liked living with him, though half a day was hardly enough time to form an opinion. It didn’t help that I was still exhausted - even despite my nap - and quick to get frustrated.

Among the messages was a text from Y/N. I smiled as I read it over.

** _Y/N: _ ** _ Call me when you can, alright? :) _

If only I had seen that text earlier.

* * *

I collapsed down onto my bed, trying my best to ignore the boxes in the corner that still needed to be unpacked. That would have to wait for tomorrow; the party - if you could really call it that - had wiped out what little bit of energy that I had left. I somehow managed to shimmy out of my jacket without having to sit up. It landed on the floor in an unceremonious heap, the zippers rattling a bit as they hit the carpet.

I was about to start unbuttoning my shirt so that I could change into pajamas when I remembered Y/N’s text from earlier. Between seeing friends and spending the entire car ride with Josh, I hadn’t had an opportunity to call her yet. My fingers flew across the screen as I pulled up her contact and hit the call button.

I kicked my feet idly as I waited for her to pick up. It wasn’t terribly late and Y/N wasn’t really one for going to bed early, especially in the summer. It took two rings for her to finally pick up.

“I was wondering when I was going to hear from you,” she said, followed by a quiet laugh.

I was already smiling.

“Sorry, friends wanted to celebrate the end of the tour.”

“The same friends you just spent three months with?” she joked.

“Those are the ones.”

I heard her get up and close a door through the phone. From the sounds of it, she was sitting on the back porch. She liked to do that in the summer.

“Well, I’m just happy to hear from you at all. It’s nice to know you didn’t decide you liked your new friends better.”

“They could never compare to you, Y/N.”

She exhaled. “Thanks, Ty.”

“Um, so the reason I called.”

“You mean you called for some reason other than hearing my beautiful voice?” she giggled.

“Well, that too. But that’s not the main reason.”

“What’s up?”

“Are you free tomorrow?”

“I should be. Why do you ask?”

I laughed, “Why do you think?”

“Of course, you want to spend time with your super awesome best friend.”

“Well, I did, but Josh was busy.”

“Hey!”

“I’m kidding! I’m kidding. I want to see you.”

“I think I can make that happen.”

I really couldn’t keep the smile off my face now. “I’ll pick you up at noon?”

“Perfect. You can meet my insane cat while we’re at it.”

“What’s his name again?”

“Georgie.”

“Georgie. Right.”

“You should get some sleep, Ty. You sound tired.”

Leave it to Y/N to know exactly how I was feeling, even through a phone call.

“Only if you get some sleep, too.”

“But the sky is so clear tonight!” she protested.

“There will be more nights to stargaze.”

“Ok, ok, you have a point. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Goodnight, Y/N.”

“Goodnight.”

I ended the call and set my phone on my chest, unable to stop myself from smiling like an idiot at the ceiling.


	4. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: None
> 
> Word Count: 1924
> 
> Author’s Note: I hope you enjoy this one! :)

“What do you think his hair looks like now?” you asked Georgie, who was currently chasing a toy around your bedroom floor. “Do you think it’s still fluffy?”

Georgie answered by sprinting across your room and pouncing on a different toy than the one he had just been preoccupied with. He bat it between his paws a few times before rolling onto his back.

“Thanks for the reassurance,” you sighed.

Your phone buzzed against the nightstand where it was currently charging. You weren’t entirely sure what Tyler had planned for the two of you today, so you wanted to be ready for anything.

A car drove past as you were reaching for your phone, making you freeze. It was only a few minutes until noon, meaning Tyler could get to your house at any moment. You were excited to see him - despite the remark you had made a couple days ago - but it was still weird to think you hadn’t seen him in three months. It was impossible to anticipate what things would be like between you.

You waited until the hum of the car’s engine was distant enough that you were sure it wasn’t Tyler. Your phone was still lit up from the text message, reminding you what you had set out to do in the first place.

** _Marenna: _ ** _Have fun today! Remember not to stress, Tyler is still your best friend :)_

You took a deep breath, now somewhat reassured by Marenna’s message. Just as you finished your response, a car door slammed outside. It only took one quick glance out the window to confirm that it was Tyler. You scooped Georgie up, much to his dismay, and rushed down the stairs.

You were feeling a bit lightheaded as you waited for Tyler to knock on the door, so you took a seat on the bottom step. Georgie was wriggling ferociously in your arms, but you held him tight and scratched at the place behind his ear that always seemed to calm him down a little. In a way, it was helping you to feel more calm too.

The knock on the door made you jump, scaring Georgie just as bad. You took a moment to inhale as you stood up and exhale as you rested your fingers on the door handle. With a slight nod to yourself, you pulled open the door.

As soon as you saw Tyler, dorky grin and all, the fear seemed to melt away. He stood there for a moment, taking in the sight of you, before shaking himself out of his thoughts and meeting your eyes.

“Y/N,” he smiled.

“Ty.”

You beckoned him inside, wanting nothing more than to wrap your arms around him. As soon as the door was shut, you tossed Georgie down and pulled Tyler towards you. His hands gripped at the back of your t-shirt, holding you impossibly close. You allowed yourself to take everything in, from the warmth of his arms to the scent of his cologne that was only ever noticeable when he hugged you.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” you laughed, wiping away tears when you finally let go of him. “I really didn’t mean to cry.”

“It’s ok,” he smiled. “At least I know you’re happy to see me.”

You wondered why you had ever been so stressed over seeing him again. It should have been obvious that you two would come back together like you had never been apart in the first place.

He still looked the same as when he had left, aside from the addition of a few new tattoos. His hair was still cut the exact same way - courtesy of his mom - and he was wearing the same t-shirts that you had grown so accustomed to. The Vans on his feet were still beat-up and dirty, maybe a little more so now that they had been all over the country. Tyler was still Tyler.

And yet, something at the back of your mind felt different.

“Look at this!” you said, pushing the thoughts aside to instead focus on his new tattoos. “When did this happen?”

Tyler held out his left arm, which was now covered in three dark bands. They were still a bit swollen from the fresh ink, but they looked amazing contrasted against his tan skin. It fit perfectly with the wrist tattoo he had gotten not long before leaving for tour.

“A few days ago. We had a day off and decided to get tattoos.”

“That’s certainly a… permanent choice to kill time,” you laughed. “It looks really good though, Ty. Honestly.”

“You can touch them, if you want.”

“Are you sure? It won’t hurt?”

He smiled at that. “No, it won’t hurt.”

You reached out and lightly ghosted your fingers over the tattoos as you admired them, glancing up at his face every so often just to make sure you weren’t causing him any pain. He didn’t seem all that affected by your soft touch, although you did notice that he was carefully watching your movements. His features were soft, as if he were _admiring_ the way you were tracing his tattoos.

You blinked a couple times, “Um, so my cat. I kinda forgot about introducing you two once I saw you.”

You turned and led Tyler down the hall, towards the jingling sound of Georgie playing with another of his numerous toys. Georgie stopped and turned to look at you as you came into his view.

“There he is,” you said, gesturing to him. “I know you’re not big on animals, so I won’t make you touch him or anything.”

Tyler laughed, “Thanks.”

Georgie rolled up to a sitting position, scaring Tyler enough that he took a hesitant step back. You shot him a look.

“He’s active, Ty, not vicious.”

Still, Tyler eyed him carefully as he moved slowly across the room. You sighed and rested a hand on Tyler’s shoulder.

“Let me stick him in the laundry room and then we can head out.”

Tyler nodded and walked off to wait in the entryway while you grabbed your own Vans and dealt with Georgie.

“Let’s go,” you announced, grabbing your keys in one swift motion.

You followed Tyler out the front door, making sure to double check that it was locked behind you. He was idly tapping his palms against his legs as he made his way down the front path.

“I’m glad to see fame and money hasn’t changed you,” you laughed upon noticing his junky car parked against the curb.

He turned to look at you over his shoulder, “I’m flattered that you think I made enough money on tour to buy a new car.”

“You made enough to get a new apartment, didn’t you?”

“Yeah, one that I didn’t want and management is paying for half of,” he muttered.

“An apartment is an apartment, Ty.”

He simply shrugged as he unlocked the car. You were about to make another argument when you noticed the envelope sitting in the passenger seat with your name written across the front in Tyler’s handwriting. Not wanting to crumple it, you picked it up and set it in your lap.

“Is this mine?” you asked Tyler as he shut his door. It creaked loudly.

His mild annoyance was replaced with a smile, “Yeah. Open it, if you want.”

You carefully opened the envelope and grabbed its contents. There had to be at least a dozen postcards, all wrapped up in a rubber band. Already grinning, you pulled the rubber band off and fanned them out so you could see them better.

“No way! Is this all the places you went?”

“Yeah. Flip them over.”

Your eyebrows furrowed slightly as you turned the cards over, being careful not to spill them all over the floor of his car. On the back of each was a small paragraph, handwritten by Tyler. You couldn’t help but read over the first one, talking about how their first out-of-state show had gone and how he was feeling.

“Tyler,” you gasped. “You really did this for me?”

“Of course I did. I knew you would like it.”

“Man, you were so right.”

You set the postcards in your lap and held your arms out to Tyler. He took the hint and pulled you into another hug, made a bit awkward by the console in between you two.

“I’m going to read these all tonight,” you smiled as you carefully tucked them away.

You closed the envelope up and placed it gently in the backseat, putting your keys on top of it just to make sure you wouldn’t forget it. Tyler started up the car and pulled out into the street. Within seconds, you had kicked your feet up on the dash and Tyler had rolled down the windows, allowing you to enjoy the warm, summer air.

“So, tour, tell me all about it,” you prompted.

Tyler’s mouth slowly curled up into a smile before he began to talk. He talked about everything, from what he would have for breakfast each morning to his favorite way to arrange the setlist. Most of the time he had to pause in the middle of a sentence to remind himself of another story he wanted to tell you once he finished the current one. It was nice to hear him talk so passionately about something.

You were trying your best to pay attention to what he was saying, but your attention was more drawn to other things. Your eyes were roaming over his left arm, which was currently tensed slightly from his grip on the steering wheel. His tattoos somehow managed to look even better when they were illuminated by the sun. It took Tyler asking you a question for you to finally reel your attention back in.

Something still felt off.

“Did I already tell you about the guy we met in Illinois?”

“Yeah, you told me over FaceTime.”

“Ok,” he smiled. “That’s one less story to tell you, then.”

You studied Tyler’s face, trying to figure out what wasn’t clicking. He still looked the same. Talked the same. Acted the same. Even after being gone for three months, he was still the same guy he had been before he left.

Maybe Tyler wasn’t the one who had changed.

It had been on your mind for awhile now, what things would be like when he finally came back. With Tyler being gone for so long, your feelings had started to go, too. You hadn’t noticed it right away, but with each week that he was on tour you started to notice the little things that used to affect you so much starting to affect you, well, less. Texts from him no longer made your hands shake. You didn’t play his CDs on repeat just to hear his voice. He was no longer your only topic of conversation when you went to see Carter.

Carter’s question the other day suddenly started to make a lot more sense. He must have noticed it too.

You still loved Tyler - there was no denying that - but it no longer consumed your mind. It was nice, actually. Now you could enjoy your time with him instead of watching his every move, searching for any indicator that he shared your feelings. There were other people in the world for you to fall in love with. Tyler had made it clear that he didn’t view you as anything other than his best friend.

And for the first time in a long time, that was ok with you.


	5. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: None
> 
> Word Count: 1901
> 
> Author’s Note: Another chapter! I don’t really have much to say this time around, so I hope you enjoy it :)

Man, Y/N was gorgeous.

She was sitting a few feet away from me on the blanket, rolling a raspberry idly between her fingers. Her eyes were squinted slightly as she looked out towards the distant skyline of Columbus, one hand raised near her temple to block some of the sunlight that was shining down on the two of us. I bit down on my lip in an attempt to stop smiling like a total idiot.

It wasn’t working out so well.

“Did I tell you about that wedding that I went to a couple weeks ago?” Y/N asked, breaking the silence that had formed between us.

She turned to look at me before finally popping the raspberry she had been holding into her mouth. Her eyebrows raised slightly, waiting for my answer.

I shook my head, “I don’t think so.”

Her mouth curled up into a smile as she looked to the sky for a moment. “It was crazy.”

“What happened?”

I grabbed a chip from the bag sitting near my knee and dipped it in some guacamole. It crunched loudly between my teeth.

“Do you remember my cousin Ben?”

I thought for a moment. “Tall guy, dark hair, always wears the same Metallica sweatshirt?”

“Yes, that one.”

“Ok, I remember him.”

Y/N’s smile grew wider, “You’re not going to believe this. Basically, he came to the wedding with this girl, ok? He told everyone that they were dating and they acted like a couple the entire time, but then at the reception they got into an argument and the girl told everybody that they actually _weren’t_ together. He faked the entire thing to impress my family!”

“He faked having a girlfriend? Did the girl know about the plan?”

“Yes, and it gets better. Along with her admitting the entire thing was fake, she confessed that she had been in love with him the entire time, so now they’re actually dating.”

I reached up to run a hand through my hair. Y/N was now fiddling with the edge of the blanket, pulling at a few loose threads. She was still smiling.

“That sounds like something straight out of a movie.”

“It was. My other cousins and I could hardly believe it.”

There was a pause in the conversation, mostly because I couldn’t think of anything to say. I tensed up a little as Y/N reached past me to grab the cooler, lightly brushing my arm as she did so. She grabbed a drink and popped the top open.

“Ok, enough about me. I want to hear more about tour,” she said, meeting my eyes.

My eyebrows raised, “Tour? You know most of what happened.”

“Oh, come on.” She nudged me slightly. “I’m sure you haven’t told me everything.”

Well, there was always the fact that I was head over heels in love with her. But what if she didn’t feel the same anymore?

“I swear I’ve told you most of the exciting stuff that happened, already. Other than that, we just worked on Vessel when we had free time.”

Y/N’s eyes widened in shock. It took me a moment to realize that I had slipped up about the album name, which was still supposed to be kept secret.

“Vessel?” she asked, trying to hide the smile on her face.

I rubbed a hand along my forehead, but was unable to keep myself from matching her giddy smile. “Yeah, that’s the name of the next album. I wasn’t supposed to tell anyone.”

“Tyler!” she gasped. “That’s amazing!

I shrugged, looking down towards the blanket, “It’s just an album name.”

“_Just_ an album name? Ty, this is your first album with a label! It has a name! And songs! And soon enough it will have album art and music videos and a tour, too.”

My mouth curled up into the slightest hint of a smile. “We’re actually going to shoot a music video in a couple of weeks.”

Y/N sighed and dramatically fell back onto the blanket, throwing one of her arms over her forehead to protect her eyes from the sun.

“I’m beginning to think that you were lying about telling me everything about tour,” she laughed. Her eyes were squinted as she looked towards me from beneath her arm.

“In my defense, you’re not supposed to know any of that information.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone.”

“Promise?” I raised my eyebrows.

“You can always trust me, Ty,” she smiled. “I promise.”

She held her free arm out to me, pinky extended. With a slight shake of my head, I locked my pinky with hers. I tried not to laugh too much at the childish gesture, even though I knew Y/N’s reason behind it was sincere.

“Does it feel weird to finally be back in Ohio?” she asked.

I reached over and picked idly at some blades of grass near the edge of the blanket. “Yes and no. The weirdest thing is being in the new apartment with Josh.”

“Because you’re not used to having a roommate?”

“I guess. And I’m just not used to the area. It sucks not having the thai place down the street anymore,” I smiled.

And being so far from you.

“I’m sure there are plenty of good restaurants around your new place. We can make an adventure out of trying all of them,” Y/N grinned, obviously pleased with her idea.

I nodded, “I would like that.”

“But you’re glad to be back?”

“Of course I am. As much as I love tour, Ohio is always going to be home for me. Not to mention that now I get to spend time with you and not be separated by a phone screen,” I laughed, giving Y/N’s arm a nudge.

Maybe Ohio wasn’t the place that felt like home.

“I’m glad that you’re back, Ty,” she smiled. “It was hard not having you around these last few months.”

“I know what you mean, but we don’t have to worry about being apart right now. Not for awhile, at least.”

I tried to smile, but it came out awkward and lopsided. It wouldn’t be long before management would be setting us up for another tour, and a bigger one at that. Three months would turn into four. Then five. Maybe even six.

I didn’t want to think about being away from Y/N for that long.

She must have noticed that I was starting to space out, because she sat up and placed a hand on my shoulder. “Hey, happy thoughts, Ty. You just got back, let’s focus on that right now.”

I nodded, angry with myself for letting my mind run away with itself.

“You’re right. Can you pass me the raspberries?”

Y/N reached over and grabbed the little plastic container that held what was left of the raspberries.

“Sorry, I ate a lot of them,” she laughed, grabbing another and popping it into her mouth.

“No worries. I think it’s only fair considering I devoured most of the chips.”

Y/N’s eyebrows furrowed as she grabbed the chip bag and looked inside. I scratched at my nose, hoping I wouldn’t look too suspicious.

“Ty!” she giggled. “I wanted some chips and guac, too.”

“There’s still some left!”

There was a pause in the conversation as she grabbed a chip from the bag and scooped up a large glob of guacamole. I slowly made my way through the raspberries, scrunching my nose when the occasional one was too sour for my liking.

“Hey, speaking of your new apartment,” Y/N said. “When do I get to see it?”

I shrugged, “Whenever you’re free. I can talk to Josh and see when he’s going to be out, if you want it to be just the two of us.”

“I don’t really care. Having a chance to finally get to know Josh would be pretty cool, considering you two are going to be together a lot more often now.”

I ignored the uncomfortable feeling in my stomach and kept talking. She just wanted to get to know Josh a little better. That was all.

“Ok, I can talk to him and figure out when he’s free, too.”

Y/N smiled, “Awesome. I’m excited to see your new place.”

“I’m excited for you to see it, too,” I said, forcing a smile.

“Look at that dog!” Y/N suddenly gasped, pointing out towards a golden retriever that was running around in the grass.

Her face lit up as she watched the dog running around, making her look even more beautiful than usual, if that was possible. When she turned to me with an excited smile on her face, I couldn’t help but match it. The discomfort in my stomach seemed to melt away as I looked at her.

“Sorry,” she mumbled. “What were we talking about?”

I shrugged, “Nothing important.”

Her eyebrows furrowed for a moment, but she didn’t press the topic. Instead, she grabbed another chip and turned out towards the Columbus skyline. That alone was enough to make my heart skip a beat.

Who knew that I could be so in love with someone?

* * *

Josh was sitting on the couch as I arrived home, eating something out of a bowl. He paused the show that he was watching and turned to look at me, his blue hair sticking up at all angles.

“Hey,” he smiled. “Did you have fun with Y/N?”

I was unable to stop my own smile. “Yeah, I had a really good time.”

“Things weren’t awkward or anything?”

“Not at all. It’s like we were never even apart.”

“That’s fantastic.”

“Yeah. I’m just gonna head to bed, though. I’m still exhausted from tour and want as much sleep as I can get.”

“I don’t blame you. I can barely keep my eyes open to watch this movie,” Josh said, gesturing to the TV with his spoon.

“Good luck,” I laughed, already halfway down the hall to my room.

I kicked my bedroom door closed and collapsed onto my bed. Outside my window, the sun had finally disappeared behind the horizon. The last bits of light were finally fading from the sky, casting long shadows across the floor of my room.

No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get myself to stop thinking about Y/N. Even though things had seemed normal between us, I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was different. Maybe she was being more distant. Or was I being more distant? I wouldn’t be having this train of thought if something didn’t feel off.

No, I was probably just overthinking it. My mind was still exhausted from tour and looking for any little way to undermine the confidence I had gained about my feelings for Y/N over the last few months. She had liked me for years, a few months apart wasn’t going to suddenly make all of that disappear.

My eyes slowly fluttered closed as I began to relive memories from high school. All the basketball games that Y/N had come to and supported me at. Late night drives where we drank milkshakes, blasted music, and drove down backroads much faster than we should have been. Summer days spent in her den with the fan pointed directly at us while we lazily played our twentieth round of Mario Kart.

Before I knew it, I was asleep.


	6. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Little bit of angst
> 
> Word Count: 2177
> 
> Author’s Note: I hope you enjoy this chapter! :)

You must have looked between the text from Tyler and the number on the door at least three times before knocking, just to make sure that you weren’t showing up at some stranger’s apartment. Your hands were shaking a little as you finally stuffed your phone back into your pocket and knocked quietly on the door. Before it had even opened, you heard Tyler’s familiar laugh. Your shoulders instantly relaxed.

“Hey,” Tyler smiled as he opened the door. You took in his plain white t-shirt and basketball shorts, biting back a smile. “You made it.”

“Barely,” you laughed, stepping through the open door.

Your eyes went wide as you took in the new apartment. Tyler hadn’t been kidding about it being a lot nicer than his last one. His keyboard was no longer crammed into a corner, in fact, it was nowhere in sight, meaning that his bedroom was probably big enough to actually have more than just a bed and a closet. The living room was decently sized, with space for multiple couches and a bookshelf that the boys had filled with movies and band-related objects that you didn’t yet know the significance of. Not to mention that you weren’t practically in the kitchen as soon as you walked in the door, there was space for you and Tyler to stand comfortably.

“Wow,” was all you could manage to mutter at first.

“Nice, isn’t it?” Tyler said, looking around with a proud smile.

“I don’t think nice covers it. I mean, you said this was nicer than your last apartment but this… are you sure you’re not famous?” you laughed.

“Not famous.” Tyler shook his head, but he was laughing quietly.

“Hey, Y/N.”

Your eyes shifted to the voice. Josh - who you hadn’t entirely registered as being in the apartment - was sitting on the couch, his tattooed arm slung over the back. He smiled when you met his eyes, making your heart skip a beat.

That was new.

“Hey, Josh.”

You kicked your shoes off by the door and followed Tyler in the living room, still allowing your eyes to wander around the space. He took a seat next to Josh on the couch, so you settled for the armchair that was pushed against the far wall. You kicked your legs up and over the side, letting your feet dangle in the air.

“How was the drive?” Tyler asked.

You shrugged, “Not bad. A lot farther than your old place, for sure, but I actually didn’t mind it too much. I think there’s some back roads that I’ll be able to take to avoid traffic, which will be nice.”

“I think I know which ones you mean,” Josh chimed in. “I take those ones to visit my family.”

“How are they?”

“Not bad. They definitely help during traffic, like you said. There’s some pretty cool scenery, too.”

“Oh, nice,” you grinned.

You took a moment to look over Josh’s appearance, now that he was sitting directly across from you. He had pierced his nose since the last time you had seen him, probably a result of the tour antics Tyler had kept you filled in on. His once dark hair was now a pale blue and sticking out at all angles. And then there were his eyes, a beautiful deep brown with crinkles that formed at the corners when he smiled or laughed.

He must have noticed you staring, because he caught your eye and raised his eyebrows slightly. You pressed your lips together and turned away from him, too embarrassed to keep making eye contact.

“Hey, weren’t we about to make lunch?” Tyler asked, turning to Josh.

“Oh right, I forgot about that,” Josh answered without missing a beat.

Tyler stood up from the couch and started to wander into the kitchen, followed closely by Josh.

“Coming, Y/N?” Tyler asked, looking to you.

“Yeah, I’m coming.”

You swung your legs down and followed the boys to the kitchen. Based on the variety of ingredients that the two of them collected, you were having grilled cheese for lunch.

“Do you want any help?” you asked, drumming your fingers along the edge of the counter.

“You can just sit, if you want,” Tyler answered. “I can make your grilled cheese.”

“Thanks, Ty.”

The boys chatted happily as they made their sandwiches. Tyler was in charge of preparing all of them while Josh got the stove heated up to actually cook them. They were taking their jobs very seriously.

“How long have you two known each other?” Josh asked. He was holding a hand over the pan in front of him, testing how hot it was.

“Careful,” you muttered, eyeing his hand. He smiled. “And, um, we met when we were freshmen in high school. Our English teacher sat us next to one another and the rest is history.”

“Only because I wouldn’t leave her alone,” Tyler laughed as he spread butter onto a piece of bread.

Josh looked to you with furrowed eyebrows. You shook your head slightly, remembering what Tyler had been like when he was fourteen.

“He was always asking me for help on projects,” you explained. “And after awhile I actually started to feel comfortable around him and we talked about stuff that wasn’t related to school. Actually, I don’t think we ever really _stopped _talking in that class,” you laughed.

“Yeah, Mr. Brown wasn’t really a huge fan of us,” Tyler chimed in.

“That’s cool that you two have known each other so long. I don’t really talk to many of my high school friends anymore,” Josh said. “Also, Y/N, did you want anything to drink?”

You looked to Tyler for a moment, “Do you still keep all of my favorite drinks in your fridge?”

He scoffed, “Obviously.”

“A vanilla Coke would be great,” you said to Josh.

“Coming right up. Did you want anything, Ty?”

“I’ll take a Red Bull.”

Tyler caught your eye as you were waiting for Josh to grab you a drink. He subtly raised his eyebrows, silently asking for your opinion on Josh so far. You smiled and nodded, hoping that it got the right message across.

“Here you go,” Josh said, holding the can out towards you. You hadn’t even fully realized that he had come back.

“Thanks,” you smiled, reaching out to take it from him.

Your fingers briefly brushed against his as he passed the drink to you. Tingles ran up your arm, nearly making you shiver. Tyler shot you a look, but you simply smiled and popped the top of the can open.

“Here’s the first sandwich,” Tyler said, passing it to Josh without looking at him. There was an edge to his voice that hadn’t been there before.

Josh thanked him and tossed it into the pan. The butter began to sizzle. adding another layer of noise to the kitchen.

“Tyler was telling me the other day that you got a cat,” Josh said, his eyes never leaving the sandwich.

“Yeah, my parents got him for me when my brother moved out. I guess he was supposed to keep me company, which he does, but he’s also a pain a lot of the time. He’s constantly breaking stuff.”

“That sounds like a lot of fun,” Josh laughed. He had a nice laugh.

“Not really. Do you have pets? I mean, not here, obviously. But your family?”

“We had a couple different pets growing up. I’ve always wanted a golden retriever, you know, a dog that I could take on runs and stuff. Plus, I could register it as an emotional support animal for anxiety and all that. Maybe even take him on tour, when we’re doing that again.”

Josh turned to Tyler and smiled. Tyler returned his smile, but something about it didn’t seem entirely genuine. There was definitely something going on with him. You made a mental note to ask him about it later.

“Hey, Y/N, watch this.”

Your attention turned back to Josh, who had taken hold of the pan and was now holding it a few inches above the stove. You watched with wide eyes as he flipped the sandwich over, making the fresh butter start to sizzle once again. He turned to you with a proud smile.

“Impressive,” you nodded.

“I’m a man of many talents,” he laughed, shooting you a wink.

You pursed your lips for a moment, allowing your eyes to slide down to the counter in front of you. It was a rare occasion that someone flirted so blatantly with you, but the attention was a welcome occurrence.

* * *

Once all of your sandwiches were made and the three of you had your drinks of choice, you made your way back to the living room. Even with adequate space for a dining room table, it seemed the boys still preferred to eat their lunch on the comfort of a couch.

You managed to claim one end of the couch, and Josh was quick to take the other end. Tyler stared at the middle spot for a moment before deciding to sit in the armchair that you had previously occupied. You would have sat there again, but you didn’t want to risk balancing your drink on the armrest and spilling soda all over their brand new apartment floors.

“Damn, this is really good,” you said after finishing your first bite of grilled cheese. “Who knew you were talented musicians _and_ chefs.”

“I couldn’t have done it without him,” Josh laughed, vaguely pointing towards Tyler with his elbow.

“I still don’t know how to cook these things to perfection,” he chimed in.

“He tried many times on tour.”

“Oh, hey, speaking of tour,” you said, setting your sandwich down for a moment. “I was reading through the postcards last night, Ty.” His cheeks started to turn a little pink. “And I noticed that you didn’t get one for Columbus.”

He shrugged, “I figured you wouldn’t want one since you live here.”

“I would have wanted it if it had a little note from you,” you smiled. “I really liked reading all the other ones.”

“I’m glad,” he said, finally allowing himself the smile he had been holding back.

You were happy to see Tyler smiling. He had been acting off all day, but you figured it was just because he was still adjusting to being home again after tour. Even while he was sitting in the chair eating his lunch, it seemed like he could fall asleep at any moment.

“So, what have you been up to these last few months, Y/N?” Josh asked.

“School, mostly,” you laughed. “That, and trying not to go crazy without Tyler here.”

Tyler met your eyes when you said this, his eyebrows raising slightly. You shot him a smile, hoping it would make him feel a little better. Based on the giddy smile he had as he looked back down to his lap, it had done its job.

“Yeah, it’s nice to be back in Ohio,” Josh said. “There’s a lot of people here that I want to get to know.”

Once again, you found yourself trying not to smile like a total idiot. Instead, you settled for taking a bite out of your grilled cheese and hoping that would cover your expression. When you met Josh’s eyes, he was wearing the slightest hint of a smirk on his face.

“I’m sure those people want to get to know you too,” you answered. It wasn’t like you to be forward, but something about Josh’s blatant interest was making you feel bold.

When you looked to Tyler, he was staring straight at Josh. His eyebrows were low over his eyes, but you couldn’t quite place his emotion. He must have realized you were looking at him, because his eyes shifted to meet yours and his expression immediately softened. He only held your gaze for a moment before dropping it back to his lap like he had been doing before.

You definitely had to find out what was going on with him.

“Y/N?” Josh asked.

“Yeah?”

“I asked if you’re from Ohio,” he said. His smile was back.

You told Josh all about how your family had roots in Ohio, which probably bored him more than he would have liked. If it did, he was doing a fantastic job of masking it. The only other person who seemed to enjoy the story - aside from your family, of course - was Tyler.

Tyler. Even as you told Josh all about your family history, you couldn’t stop stealing glances at him to see if he was ok. His eyes had slowly fluttered closed, one half of his sandwich still sitting uneaten on his plate. You were hoping that whatever was going on was nothing more than your run-of-the-mill sleep deprivation, but your gut told you that it ran deeper than that.

You pushed the thought from your mind and focused on Josh. Whatever was bothering Tyler could be figured out later, between the two of you.

At least, that’s what you hoped.


	7. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Angst
> 
> Word Count: 2190
> 
> Author’s Note: Ok, so I expected the last chapter to frustrate a lot of you, but oh my gosh some of you were heated!! (And I don’t blame you in the slightest). Anyway, hopefully this chapter clears some things up. Enjoy :)

My fingernails were digging so deeply into my palms that I was sure it would leave marks. I watched as Josh chatted with Y/N just inside the door, despite the fact that she said she had to leave nearly ten minutes ago. She glanced at me every so often, but I simply offered her a smile and acted like I was doing something on my phone.

“Ok, I really need to get going,” Y/N said, checking the time on her phone for the third time during their conversation. “My parents are going out tonight and I told them I would look after Georgie, they’ll be waiting on me.”

“It was really nice getting a chance to talk with you,” Josh said, offering her his signature smile. “Hopefully we get another opportunity soon.”

My jaw clenched.

“Agreed, I’ll definitely be over here more often,” she returned his smile.

Josh pulled her into a hug and my fists tightened. This was ridiculous.

“Bye, Tyler.”

I barely even registered that Y/N had said my name. My right hand loosened as I raised it to wave at her. Hopefully she wouldn’t notice the deep ridges in my palm from my fingernails.

Josh closed the door behind her and slowly wandered into the kitchen, whistling to himself. I stood in place, waiting until I heard the heavy metal door in the hallway slam. Y/N always took the stairs down.

“What was that about?” I asked.

Josh turned to me with furrowed eyebrows, “What do you mean?”

“With Y/N!” I said, throwing an exasperated arm into the air.

He pursed his lips, “I’m not entirely sure what you mean, Tyler.”

“Don’t play dumb.”

“I’m not playing dumb! I genuinely have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“The flirting? ‘There’s a lot of people here that I want to get to know.’ Come on, man,” I said, running my hands through my hair.

Josh grabbed one of the plates from the sink and began to rinse it off. “It was harmless, Tyler. I honestly didn’t think it would be a big deal.”

“Obviously it’s a big deal! You know how I feel about her. Did you really think that I wouldn’t care if you went around blatantly flirting with her right in front of me?”

“She was flirting back! You can’t pin all the blame on me for what happened. Had she been uncomfortable, I would have stopped immediately, but she wasn’t.”

“That’s not the point, Josh! You _know_ that I like her. That alone should be enough to stop you from flirting with her like - well, like that!”

Josh set the plate that he had been washing down in the sink and wiped his hands off on a nearby towel.

“Why aren’t you doing anything about it, then? If I didn’t know any better, I would think you two were nothing more than friends. If you were actively pursuing her, I wouldn’t have flirted. You’re right. But you’ve had your chance, Ty, and you’re lying to yourself if you think I’m the only guy that’s going to show interest in her.”

I shook my head, “You don’t get it. Why don’t you try spending some time in my head, alright? Do you know how badly I want to tell her how I feel?”

“Then why don’t you?”

“It’s not that simple!” I yelled. Josh looked taken aback by the sudden jump in volume. “You wouldn’t understand.”

“I might if you actually talked to me about stuff, Tyler! How was I supposed to know that flirting with her would upset you? I barely even knew that you still had feelings for her!”

“Isn’t it obvious?”

“No!”

I sighed and rubbed my hands along my face. My thoughts were quickly starting to spiral.

“Listen, Tyler, I’m sorry. I really didn’t mean to upset you. I assumed since you hadn’t mentioned your feelings in awhile, it wouldn’t be a huge deal for me to flirt with her. She’s pretty, I’ll admit that, and I want to get to know her better. But if you’re uncomfortable with it, I can lay off the flirting.”

“I am uncomfortable with it.”

“But if she flirts first, then I’m going to reciprocate.”

I knew I should argue, but I was tired of fighting with Josh and my head was muddled with too many thoughts.

“Sure, fine, whatever.”

“Are we good?”

“Yeah, we’re good. I’m sorry for exploding on you, it’s just a sensitive topic with me,” I said, refusing to meet Josh’s eyes.

“You can talk to me about stuff, you know. I’m willing to listen.”

“I know. Thanks.”

Josh didn’t say anything else, so I shuffled down the hall towards my room. Even though Josh had said he would stop flirting with Y/N, I wasn’t entirely convinced that it would stop the entire situation. I had no idea where Y/N stood with Josh, aside from the flirting she had done with him today. Josh wasn’t really her type, but then again, I didn’t really know her type. The only person I had ever really seen her show interest in was me.

I collapsed onto my bed, grabbing a pillow to pull over my head. Maybe Josh had a point. I had my chance to go after Y/N and I hadn’t used it. Did she even feel the same anymore? We had been apart for a long time and she had seemed interested in Josh when she was over.

He was perfect for her, when I thought about it: the exact type of guy I had always assumed Y/N would end up with. Josh was confident and funny and caring, all things that I wasn’t. He knew how to flirt and make her blush, another thing that I had never been able to do. Yeah, maybe they would work out together.

Even if I didn’t want them to.

Not wanting to entertain the thoughts any longer, I walked over to my dresser and grabbed the headphones that were sitting on top of it. I slid the volume up to full blast and fell back onto my bed, allowing my face to get squished into the mattress.

Maybe if I laid here long enough, I would fall asleep and my brain would shut off for awhile.

* * *

My music was still blasting when I woke up from my nap. I sighed and rolled onto my back, trying to figure out just how long I had been asleep. The sun had gone down and there were a few unread messages on my phone, mostly from my family. Y/N had texted too, so I read that one first.

** _Y/N: _ ** _Hey, I noticed you were acting a little off today. Hope everything is ok. Text/call me if you need me <3_

I smiled and typed out a quick answer. It seemed the nap had done its job of making me feel a little better.

** _Tyler: _ ** _A lot on my mind. Call you in a little bit?_

Josh was sitting on the couch as I walked out to the living room with an empty plate sitting on the coffee table in front of him. He turned and smiled at me, but didn’t pause his TV show like he usually did. I gave him a lazy wave and continued my shuffle to the kitchen.

After looking through the cabinets, I decided that nothing in our kitchen looked appealing enough for dinner. There was a Taco Bell not too far down the street and getting out of the apartment for awhile didn’t seem like such a bad idea. Before I fully processed what I was doing, I was standing by the door with my car keys in my hand.

“I’m going to Taco Bell. Want anything?” I asked.

Josh didn’t turn around as he answered, “No, thanks.”

“Ok.”

My car was still a little warm from the afternoon heat as I slid into the driver’s seat. There was a stack of half-written songs on the passenger side of the car, tossed into an unorganized mess. I collected them into a neat pile and set them in the back, hoping they wouldn’t fly up and out the open window on my way to get food.

I hummed along with the music as I pulled out onto the main road, hoping that it was the right direction. A few days in the new apartment hadn’t yet allowed me to get used to where everything was in relation to us, which had led to a lot of wrong turns as I tried to run errands over the last few days. It had taken me nearly twenty minutes to get to the grocery store the other morning.

My phone started buzzing right as I was about to pull up to the drive-through window at Taco Bell. Once glance at my phone was enough to tell me it was Y/N, so - not wanting to ignore her - I answered the call.

“Hello?” I answered, carefully watching the car in front of me.

“Hey, Ty, you said you wanted to talk-”

“Hold that thought,” I said, noticing the car in front of me start to pull away.

Y/N said something, but it was too muffled in the passenger seat for me to hear. My left leg was bouncing nervously as I paid for my food and took the bag from the person working at the window. As soon as it was in my hands, I pulled away and immediately parked in one of the little spots in the parking lot.

“Sorry about that,” I said, putting the phone on speaker and setting it on top of the dash.

“What’s going on?”

“I’m getting food,” I laughed. “You called right before I pulled up to the drive through window.”

“Of course.” She was laughing too. “What did you get?”

“I’ll give you three guesses,” I said, already pulling out my food. The wrappers crinkled in my hands.

“Taco Bell?”

“Ok, well, I guess you didn’t need all three.”

“Yes!” she cheered happily. “Anyway, do you need me to call you back?”

“No, it’s fine. I’m just chilling in the parking lot now.”

“Charming,” she giggled. “So, what was up with you today?”

“What do you mean?”

“Come on, Ty, I know you better than that. The spacing out. The weird looks. I know something was going on.”

I took a sip of my drink before speaking. “I guess - I don’t know - it was just weird to see you and Josh together.”

“Why?”

“Um, it was just like - I’m not used to hanging out with other people. Usually it’s just you and I, you know?”

“Are you worried that I like Josh better or something?” Her tone was joking, but I could tell there was sincerity behind the question.

I paused a moment. Then answered with a mumbled, “Yeah.”

“Ty, you know that’s not the case, right?”

I leaned further back into my seat. My back was sticking uncomfortably to the fabric of my shirt.

“You two seemed pretty friendly.”

She sighed. It was quiet, but I still caught it.

“I just wanted to get to know him because you’re in the band with him. You mean so much to me, Tyler. More than words could ever explain, I think. Josh is never going to take that place from you, he just… can’t. There’s years of inside jokes and arguments and memories that he can never take from between us.”

“I know. I just get worried. Like, there are better people for you out there.”

My hand clenched a little tighter around the empty wrapper in my hand. That was the closest I had ever gotten to admitting how I felt about Y/N. If I wasn’t careful, I was going to lay everything out during this phone call.

“Think what you want, Ty, but that isn’t the case.”

Even though I didn’t entirely believe her, I knew it wasn’t worth getting into an argument over. I had already had my fair share of arguments tonight.

“Alright, alright, I believe you.”

I lost track of how long I ended up sitting in that parking lot, talking with Y/N and enjoying the quiet background noise of my music. There was a light breeze that would drift through the windows every now and again, carrying my laughter along with it. It was peaceful, and for awhile I forgot all about what had happened when she visited the apartment.

She eventually said she had to go, her parents would be getting home soon and there was some laundry that needed to be dealt with. I agreed, explaining how I had told Josh I was going to get Taco Bell and had ended up staying out for over an hour. Despite me still being a little upset with him, I didn’t want him to worry.

“Goodnight, Tyler. I’ll see you soon, ok?”

“I’ll hold you to that. Goodnight, Y/N.”

The phone clicked as she ended the call and I leaned back in my seat, letting a smile overtake my face. Maybe things weren’t as hopeless as I thought.


	8. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Profanity
> 
> Word Count: 1984
> 
> Author’s Note: All you Carter fans out there will definitely get a kick out of this chapter. Sorry for not including him for a little while! Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter :)

You stirred your straw around your glass, watching as it swirled into a little whirpool at the top. Across from you, Carter was watching you with furrowed eyebrows. The hum of conversation from the rest of the restaurant filled the silence between the two of you.

“Do you want to tell me what’s going on now?” he asked, drawing your eyes away from your glass.

“Sorry, I didn’t sleep well.”

“Why not?”

“My room was too hot.”

“Bullshit. You sleep with like three fans.”

“I do _not_.”

Carter sighed, “I’m not trying to start an argument. I can tell something is up and I know you won’t start talking unless I prompt you.”

You mumbled something unintelligible and leaned back against the booth you were sitting in. Someone on the other side of the restaurant laughed loudly.

“I’m just confused, is all.”

“About what?”

You thought about lying again, but figured Carter would see through that too. Then again, he would probably be just as disappointed if you started to bring up Tyler again. He had been happy to hear that you were starting to feel less strongly towards him, especially after all the emotional distress your feelings for him had put you under.

“Tyler and Josh.”

His eyebrows furrowed, “What about them?”

“It’s kind of a long story.”

Carter held his hands out. “Does it look like I’m going anywhere?”

Your mouth curled up into a small smile as you reached for you straw again, stirring it idly through your drink. After a moment, you took a sip.

“I went over to their new apartment yesterday.”

“They got a new apartment?”

“Ok, well, I guess there’s more to this story than I thought there was.”

“Sorry, I’ll try not to interrupt too much,” Carter said, folding his hands onto the table.

“It’s fine. Ask as many clarifying questions as you need.”

“So, new apartment?”

“Yes. I guess management wanted them to live together while they were working on the new album? That’s how Tyler explained it to me. Anyway, management got them a new apartment in Columbus. It’s like twenty minutes from Mom and Dad’s.”

“Is it nice?”

“Very.”

“Ok.”

You cleared your throat before continuing. “I went over there yesterday to check it out and just hang out for a bit. I’ve been meaning to get to know Josh a little better since the label celebration party. Do you remember him?”

Carter stared at the table for a moment, his lips moving ever so slightly as he thought.

“Tyler’s bandmate? Is he the guy with the dark, curly hair? Had a couple tattoos on his-” Carter raised a hand to his arm, “-right arm?”

“Yeah, the galaxy and the tree.”

Carter snapped and pointed to you, “Yes! That guy. I remember him.”

“Ok, well, him. I went over there and we hung out and had lunch and - this is awkward to say - but he was really flirty with me, I guess? It was just little things, like making faces or lightly brushing against my hand, but - I don’t really know where I was going with this.”

Before Carter could say anything else, the waiter arrived with your food. You thanked him as he set your food in front of you and immediately took a bite out of one of the fries. It was hotter than you had been expecting, but you were determined not to let Carter see. He would never let you hear the end of it.

“How did it make you feel?” Carter asked as he squeezed ketchup onto part of his plate.

“The flirting?”

“Sure.”

“Well, um. I guess I liked it? I’m not really used to somebody showing blatant interest in me like that. It was really nice, actually. I don’t know why I’m toning it down,” you said, already feeling your face heat up. “It was just kinda weird since Tyler was there and, you know…” You let the end of your sentence trail off.

“I think that answers your question of why you were toning it down.”

“What? What do you mean?”

“You said it yourself. Tyler was there, which made it feel weird.”

“Yeah,” you shrugged.

“I have a question for you.”

“Ok.”

“How do you feel about Tyler?”

You bit down on your bottom lip.

“See, that’s where it gets confusing for me.”

“Do you have feelings for him? And be honest with me, I’m not going to make any snarky comments.”

“Promise?” you raised an eyebrow at him.

“Promise.”

“I think so.” You paused. “I mean, yes. I do.”

“Ok, great. And how do you feel about Josh?”

“I mean, I don’t know him nearly as well as I know Tyler, but I think there’s definitely potential there for something to happen. He’s just… different than the guys I usually like.”

“And by that, you mean he’s different from Tyler.”

“Yes.”

Carter smiled as he dipped one of his fries into the glob of ketchup he had created.

“Alright, so you have feelings for Tyler and you might have feelings for Josh. What’s the issue you’re having?”

You took a deep breath, trying to figure out the best way to explain this to Carter.

“Well, it’s like - I’ve had feelings for Tyler for so long and he’s never really reciprocated it, right? But now Josh comes along and he’s obviously interested and I think I might be too. I think it would just be weird for me to start dating the guy Tyler is in a band with. Wouldn’t that be weird for him? And then you add in the fact that sometimes I think Tyler might have feelings for me and I don’t want to hurt him by dating Josh instead, especially after I’ve liked him for so long.”

You hadn’t fully realized your heart was pounding in your chest until you stopped talking. With a shaky hand, you reached up and brushed some loose strands of hair back from your face. This was quickly getting too overwhelming.

“Ok, let’s take this one piece at a time,” Carter said. “You said that it might be weird for you to start dating Josh when he’s in the band with Tyler, right?”

“Right.”

“What if you just asked Tyler what his thoughts about the whole thing are? You two are close enough to do that and I’m sure it wouldn’t be a big deal. If he says he’s not comfortable with it, then you know not to pursue that relationship. And if he is, there’s no reason for you to worry. Besides, you hardly even know this Josh guy yet. Maybe he turns out to be a jackass and you don’t even want to try out a relationship.”

“You’re right. Why didn’t I think of that?” you laughed.

“Because you’re still wrapped up in your feelings for Tyler, and how he might feel about you,” Carter said, giving the table a light tap. “Now listen, Y/N, I know you might not like hearing this.”

You braced yourself for the worst.

“But you’ve liked Tyler for a long time, and he’s _known_ that. It’s not like your feelings were some big secret or anything. If he does reciprocate your feelings, then he’s had plenty of time to act on them.”

“Ok, but Car-,” you started to protest, but you were quickly interrupted.

“No, no, hold on,” he said, dramatically holding a fry out towards you. “You’ve made excuses for him for a long time, and I understand why. I’ve seen the way that you two act around one another and you’ve told me all the stories, but for one reason or another he’s not admitting how he truly feels. I don’t want to see you keep sacrificing your potential happiness on the off chance that one day Tyler decides to admit it, ok? That isn’t fair to you, especially when you have this other guy showing such obvious interest.”

You leaned forward and rested your head in your hand. Carter had a good point, even if you didn’t want to hear it.

“I just wish it didn’t have to be someone so close to him. If it was some guy from school or something, things would be so much easier. But no, it’s his other best friend,” you sighed.

“I know, but nothing is set in stone yet, ok? You still have to figure out what Tyler thinks and if Josh is actually a cool guy and if you actually want to go through with any of this. Are you seeing them again soon?”

“Yeah, I’m going to go with them to one of their practices later this week.”

“Then I say don’t worry about it until then. Let things happen as they happen, don’t force anything, and enjoy the ride.”

You crinkled your nose, “Weird.”

“Ok, maybe that phrasing wasn’t the best, but you get my point.”

“Yeah, yeah, I get it.”

“Are you feeling less confused now?” he said, leaning back against the booth.

“If I’m being honest, no, but at least I have a plan of action now.”

Carter pursed his lips and nodded slowly.

“Was there anything else you needed to get off your chest?”

You tapped your fingers along the edge of the table, “There is one thing.”

“Hit me with it.”

“Last night,” you said, pausing for a moment. “I called Tyler after dinner, at like sevin-ish.”

“Ok?”

Your shoulders slumped down a little, “It’s a big part of the reason why this whole situation is messing with my head. I was doing ok when I left their apartment. Tyler was acting off, but I figured he was tired from tour or something. He smiled anytime I looked at him, but if I caught him off guard then he would be looking at Josh or the ground.”

“What does the call have to do with this?”

“I texted him asking him if everything was ok and he asked if I wanted to call in a little bit and I said yeah, so I called him like ten minutes after I sent the text. He had just gotten Taco Bell,” you smiled at the memory, “and - well - that part isn’t really important, aside from the fact that he answered my call in the middle of the drive through.”

Carter shook his head a little, his mouth curled up into a smile. “That boy is a real dork sometimes.”

“I know,” you grinned. “Anyway, we talked for a long time while he sat in his car and he mentioned that he felt weird about the three of us hanging out. His excuse was something about Josh taking his place, which I assured him wasn’t the case, but I can’t help but feel like it’s a little deeper than that.”

“Did you ask him about that?”

“Of course not. I didn’t want to force anything out of him that he obviously didn’t want to talk about.”

Carter sighed.

“Hey, that’s just how my relationship with Tyler is, ok? We don’t wiggle information out of each other like you and I do.”

“Wiggle information out of each other?” Carter asked, trying to suppress a laugh.

“Yes,” you grinned. “Wiggle it out.”

“Well, I’m not really sure what to tell you about that conversation because I’m not Tyler.”

“I know, I just… thought it might be worth mentioning.”

Carter nodded, “Everything is going to work out, ok? I’ve got your back.”

“I know you do. Thanks, Car.”

“Anytime.”

You decided to ask him about how Marenna was doing, knowing that it would keep the conversation off of you for awhile. Hearing him talk so happily about her helped to keep you distracted, too. Even still, the topic of Tyler and Josh didn’t totally leave the back of your mind.

Carter had a good point: nothing was set in stone. And yet, you couldn’t help the nervous feeling in the pit of your stomach.


	9. Chapter Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Angst
> 
> Word Count: 1935
> 
> Author’s Note: I hope you enjoy the chapter! :)

“Time for a break?” Josh asked, looking at me over the top of the piano.

“Good idea.”

He set his drumsticks down and stood up, wiping the sweat off his forehead with the back of his arm. Y/N was sitting against a wall nearby, furrowing her eyebrows at something on her laptop.

“You’re taking a break?” she asked, looking up at me.

I nodded as I reached for my water bottle, taking a long sip to soothe my scratchy throat. She bit down on her lip for a moment, took one final glance at her laptop, and shut it.

“What are you working on?” I asked.

“School stuff,” she muttered, tapping her fingers idly along the top of her computer.

“School stuff? Aren’t you out for the summer?” Josh asked as he wandered towards us, holding his own water bottle.

“Yeah, but one of my old classmates messaged me about some paper we had to do. I guess they wanted to use it to submit to this other school? I don’t know, it was confusing.”

I leaned against the wall next to Y/N and slowly slid down so that I was sitting next to her. “Don’t worry about it too much right now. We’re taking a break, remember?”

“Right,” she said, her mouth curling up into a smile.

Josh chimed in before I had a chance to get another word out, “What do you think of the album so far?”

“It’s awesome! I knew Tyler was a talented songwriter and musician, obviously, but there’s something different about hearing the whole song come together. You’re a super talented drummer, Josh.”

“Like I said, I’m a man of many talents,” Josh answered.

I shot him a look, but he simply raised his eyebrows. Y/N was too busy putting her laptop in her bag to notice the exchange.

“So, what do you guys usually do during breaks?” Y/N asked once her stuff was away.

“We usually order a pizza or something,” I answered. “Hang out for awhile, talk about new concepts, and then get back to work to finish practicing the second half.”

“That sounds fun.”

“Do you want to order from the usual place?” Josh asked, looking to me.

“Of course, why wouldn’t we?”

“We’re kind of a big deal now. Maybe we need to up our pizza game to match.”

I laughed and threw my now-empty water bottle at him, which he quickly swatted out of the way. It hit the wall and rolled along the floor for a moment before coming to a stop by my piano.

“What kind of pizza should we get?” Josh asked, already pulling out his phone to dial the pizza place.

“Hawaiian,” Y/N and I answered at the exact same moment.

Josh sighed and gave Y/N a disapproving look. “I was hoping Tyler was kidding when he said you liked pineapple on pizza.”

“Why would he lie about me liking the superior type of pizza?”

“Pineapple on pizza is _far_ from superior.”

“You just don’t have taste, Dun,” she said, lightly kicking his ankle.

“I don’t think I’m the one with the taste issues, Y/L/N,” he retorted, kicking at her ankle in return.

Y/N giggled and rolled her eyes at him, putting on an all-too-familiar show of mock annoyance. I leaned forward and rolled my shoulders a couple times, trying to ignore the uncomfortable feeling that had settled in my stomach.

“You can just take the pineapple off the pizza, Josh. It’s two to one, anyway,” I finally chimed in.

Josh stopped staring at Y/N long enough to look over at me. He must have noticed my frustration with the situation, because the smile that had been on his face was gone in an instant.

“Um, yeah, good point. I’ll just get a large Hawaiian pizza. I’ll be right back.”

Josh stepped outside the practice room so that he could put in our pizza order, leaving just Y/N and I. She shifted how she was sitting so that she was now facing me, leaving only a couple centimeters between her knee and my leg.

“How are you feeling about the new album, Ty?”

I kept my gaze on my legs, afraid that if I looked at her she would know something was up.

“Really good. I think the new versions of the old songs are great and I’m really proud of the new ones that I wrote to go on the album, too. Vessel is going to top Regional At Best, for sure.”

“Did you keep Lovely on the new album?”

“There’s talks of it being a bonus track, but it won’t be on the normal album.”

“Tyler! That’s my favorite song off of Regional At Best. How could you let it go?”

Another pang of discomfort ran through my chest. I had tried my hardest to get it on Vessel, for her, but they didn’t think it fit with the rest of the songs.

“It wasn’t up to me,” I sighed, finally meeting her eyes. “That’s the thing about having a label now, Josh and I no longer have total control.”

She reached out and placed a hand on my shoulder, squeezing it lightly, “That’s ok. I still have my CD, so I can listen to it whenever I want.”

“Exactly,” I grinned.

“Pizza will be here in twenty minutes,” Josh said, suddenly bursting back into the room.

“Now what do we do?” Y/N asked.

“We sit and we talk and we relax.”

Josh crossed his legs and sat down on the ground across from us. Y/N slowly turned back to how she had previously been sitting, once again putting more space between us.

“Sit and talk and relax… I think I can handle that.”

“How do you think practice is going, Josh?”

“I think it’s going great. We’re really nailing the new songs and I feel like they’re all flowing together really nicely.”

“That’s what I thought, too. I’m glad we’re on the same page.”

“Which song are you doing the music video for?” Y/N chimed in.

“How do you know about that?” Josh asked.

Y/N quickly raised a hand to cover her mouth and turned to me with wide eyes.

“I accidentally slipped up when we were hanging out,” I said, raising my hands in defeat. “She knows the album name too.”

“You know, there are worse people in the world to know top secret information about our album,” Josh smiled.

“Like Jordan.”

“Yeah, like Jordan.”

“Who’s Jordan?” Y/N asked.

“My brother. He has a bad habit of not being able to keep his mouth shut.”

“Oh, well I promise you that your secret is safe with me.”

“I trust you, Y/N.”

Y/N’s face started to light up at Josh’s compliment, but she tried her best to keep a neutral expression. Josh didn’t seem to take notice of this because he was too busy picking at something on his jeans.

“Thanks, Josh.”

“Anytime.”

* * *

“How long have you been playing drums, Josh?” Y/N asked.

Josh’s eyes went wide for a moment as he chewed his pizza, mentally counting the years since the first time he had sat down behind a drum kit.

“A long time,” he laughed. “I knew from a pretty young age that I wanted to be a drummer.”

“That’s awesome! I always thought drums were a cool instrument, but there’s no way that my parents would have let that fly in the house. They barely let Carter get a guitar, and an acoustic one at that.”

“I know what you mean. It took a lot of convincing on my end to get my parents to say yes to the idea. There was a contract involved and everything.”

“I should have written up a contract,” she laughed.

“You know, if you wanted to, um, try out my drums, you totally could.”

I watched Y/N’s eyes go wide as she looked at Josh. “You would let me? I mean, those are like, your _show_ drums. What if I break them?”

He smiled, “You won’t break them. Here, come try.”

Josh dusted his hands off on his jeans and held a hand out to Y/N, helping her stand up from where she had previously been sitting next to me. Not wanting to be left alone in the corner of the room, I got up to follow them. I leaned against my piano while Josh helped Y/N get situated behind his drums.

“How do I do this?” Y/N asked, excitedly tapping her hands on her legs.

“Well, you need these.”

Watching Josh reach past Y/N, and deliberately brush his arm against hers, was enough to make my jaw clench a little tighter. I wanted to say something, but there was no use in causing an argument, especially when all three of us would be stuck in a car together on the way home. Besides, Josh was only reciprocating the flirting that Y/N had initiated, which was exactly what he said he was going to do.

With drumsticks in hand, Y/N hesitantly began to tap out a quiet beat on Josh’s drums. He was watching her carefully, ensuring that she wasn’t about to make a costly mistake. After a few minutes of her just messing around, Josh began to help her play small sections of our songs. I had to admit, even if I didn’t like the flirty remarks between the two of them, it was pretty fun to watch Y/N trying to play the drums. She was getting frustrated in the most adorable way possible.

“Damn,” she muttered after messing up on a bit of Holding On To You again.

“You’re getting better!” Josh said. He reached out and rested a hand on her shoulder.

“Agreed. At this rate, you’ll be able to take Josh’s place on the next tour,” I added with a laugh.

“I’m not going to be able to take anybody’s place if I don’t get this stupid rhythm down.”

“Here, let me help.”

It took me a moment to realize what was going on as Josh took a step towards Y/N. He bent down behind her and wrapped his arms around hers, allowing him to help her play the drums while also being incredibly in her personal space. Y/N was chewing nervously on her lower lip, but the smile she was trying to hide remained evident.

“Is this ok?” Josh asked.

_Far from it._

“Um, yes,” Y/N mumbled.

I only managed to watch about thirty seconds of “Y/N” playing the drums before I had to turn away. My fingernails were digging deep into my palms, which would probably end up leaving marks again. It was taking all of my willpower to not yell at Josh on the spot, even though technically he wasn’t doing anything wrong.

All of this was my fault, wasn’t it?

“I got it!” Y/N cheered happily, drawing me out of my head and back into reality.

“Yeah, _you_ got it,” Josh laughed.

“Ty, are you ok?”

I almost didn’t register the question at first, but the words eventually clicked and I managed to come up with some excuse.

“Yeah, it’s just warm in here and I’m getting a little lightheaded. I think I’m going to step outside for a second.”

Y/N’s eyebrows were drawn together, but she nodded at my answer.

“Do you want me to come with?”

“I’m ok.”

I grabbed another bottle of water and walked out into the hallway, leaving Josh and Y/N behind.


	10. Chapter Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Angst
> 
> Word Count: 2103
> 
> Author’s Note: I hope you enjoy the chapter! :)

“Where’s Marenna?” you asked as you tossed your backpack down next to the door. “I thought she was going to be here today?”

“She was,” Carter answered as he closed the door behind you. “But something came up with her sister and she had to bail.”

“Oh, that’s too bad.”

“What? Am I suddenly not cool enough on my own now that Ren is back in the picture?” he laughed, giving you a playful punch in the shoulder. You retaliated with a shove.

“Not at all. I just have some more… information and wanted to hear what you both thought.”

“Information? That sounds serious.”

“Later, Car. I just want to hang out for a little bit.”

“Then what are you waiting for?”

Carter slung an arm around your shoulder and led you into the living room. You had grown to love his little apartment, crammed full of old vinyl records and music posters he had been collecting for years. It was decorated almost identically to what his bedroom had been at home, if his bedroom had contained a kitchen and proper living room. You always felt safe at his apartment and, as a result, you were always finding excuses to visit him. It was never difficult, considering Carter always loved having you over.

“Want something to drink?”

“Do you have vanilla Coke?”

Carter’s eyebrows were furrowed when he turned to you, “When did you start drinking that?”

“Car! I’ve been drinking it for _years_.”

“Well, no, I don’t have any vanilla Coke.”

“Root beer?” You already knew the answer to that question. Root beer was pretty much the only thing Carter drank.

“Of course.”

“Then I’ll have that.”

“One root beer, coming right up.”

You kicked your feet up onto the coffee table and let yourself sink back into the couch. A smile started to spread across your lips as you enjoyed the peace and quiet, that is, until Carter tossed a can of soda at you. It hit you squarely in the stomach.

“Carter,” you wheezed, “why?”

“Because I knew you would do that,” he smiled as he collapsed down onto the other end of the couch.

“I knew you would do that,” you mocked him under your breath as you popped open the can. It, by some miracle, didn’t explode all over your hands and the couch.

“So, what have you been up to lately?”

“Not much. Seeing Tyler every now and again, playing video games, taking care of Georgie. The usual.”

“How is Georgie being?”

“Chaotic, as always. I’m hoping that he calms down a little as he starts to get older. Maybe we can finally leave him unattended for more than a few hours at a time.”

“Yeah, Mom and Dad’s plan really backfired, didn’t it?”

“Big time,” you laughed.

You and Carter sat and talked for quite some time. He told you all about what he had been up to and filled you in on all the things Marenna had wanted to tell you. You told him all about Tyler and Josh’s new album, but made sure to keep all of the top secret details to yourself. Eventually, Carter sat up and folded his hands in front of him, a surefire sign that he was about to bring up something serious.

“Alright, we’ve caught each other up, now I want to hear about this information that you were talking about.”

You took a long sip of your root beer before setting it down on the coffee table.

“Where do you want me to start?”

“Wherever feels right.”

“Um, ok. Well, they picked me up yesterday. Tyler drove, although I guess that isn’t really important. Things were… normal, at first. The boys just talked about what they wanted to practice and what they felt like they needed to improve on. I just stared out the window and listened to Tyler’s music, although I’m pretty sure he deliberately played music that I liked. You know, so I wouldn’t get too bored.”

“This is your serious information?” Carter asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I’m getting there! I needed to set the scene first.”

“Ok, so everything was going completely and totally average.”

“Car-_ter_.”

He held his hands up in defeat, “Ok, ok, sorry. I’m done.”

“Alright, so we got to their practice space and they, well, practiced for awhile. I just listened and worked on some stuff on my laptop, which is whatever. They eventually decided to take a break, which is where things finally start to get interesting.”

“Oh thank god.”

You rolled your eyes, but continued on with your story. “You remember how I told you Josh was flirting with me when I went over to their apartment?”

“Yeah?”

“Well, he was flirty again. And it was a lot more obvious this time.”

“What was he doing?”

“It was just little things at first. He would make comments or jokingly tap his foot against my ankle. But then, before they started practicing again, we started talking about drumming and I made a comment about how I had always wanted to try it. Josh decided this was a good opportunity to let me try his drums.”

“Did you break something?” Carter asked, his eyes going wide.

“No. No! Carter, just listen. I was playing his drums, and I was absolutely atrocious. Even Tyler was laughing at how terrible the entire thing was. But then Josh offered to help and next thing I knew his arms were around me and he was helping me play the drums in the most intimate way possible.”

Your face felt hot simply from telling Carter about what had happened. When Josh had actually had his arms around you, you were pretty sure that you were going to melt. Something about how his hands had felt on yours and the way that you could feel his heartbeat against your back…

“Y/N?”

“Huh?”

“I asked how you felt about it, but I think the look on your face is more than enough of an answer.”

“Sorry,” you mumbled, already pulling your bottom lip between your teeth. “I was… yeah.”

“What did Tyler think about that whole exchange?”

“I’m not sure, my attention was elsewhere while it was going on. He stepped out of the room shortly after, though, and he didn’t seem too pleased.”

“So, let me guess, you’re right back to where you were when we talked earlier this week.”

“Exactly,” you sighed, reaching a hand up to rub at your shoulder.

“Have you talked to Tyler yet?”

“No. I haven’t had an opportunity, since Josh has been there every time I’m with him.”

“When are you seeing him next?”

“We’re hanging out tomorrow. I think I’ll probably bring-,” you paused upon feeling your phone start to vibrate in your pocket. “Hold on.”

You lifted your hips so that you could more easily slide your phone out of your back pocket. Your eyes went wide as you read over the name on the screen. It took three tries before it finally sunk in.

“Who is it?”

“Josh.”

“You have his number?”

“Yeah, he asked for mine last night as I was getting out of the car.”

“Are you going to answer?”

“I don’t know why he’s calling me.”

“Y/N! Come on! Answer it!”

“Ok, ok. But I’m going in the hall.”

You frantically got off the couch and half-jogged out of the apartment. There was a window at the end of the hall, so you started to wander that way as you hit answer and brought the phone up to your ear.

“Hello?”

“Hey, this is Y/N, right?”

“Yep, that’s me.”

“This is Josh.”

“Yeah, I, um, recognized your voice,” you laughed quietly. “And had your number.”

“Right, I forgot about that.”

“It’s alright.”

A pause.

“So, um, you’re probably wondering why I’m calling?”

“I am.”

“I had something that I wanted to ask you.”

A chill ran down your spine, but you managed to keep your voice steady.

“Sure, what’s up?”

“I was… oh wow, this is harder than I thought it was going to be,” he laughed.

“It’s fine, Josh. I’m sure whatever it is isn’t a big deal.”

“I don’t know, it feels like a pretty big deal to me.”

“Just spit it out,” you giggled.

“Well, ok, would you maybe… possibly… want to go on a date with me?”

Ok, so maybe it _was_ a big deal.

“A date? Like, an actual date?”

Your heart was pounding against your rib cage. Being taken on a date was a completely foreign concept to you and now that it was laid out in front of you, you weren’t entirely sure what to think. Or _do_, for that matter.

“Yes, an actual date. You know, like getting dressed up and getting food? I mean, I don’t want to give too much away.”

He had a plan? For a date? With _you_?

“Sorry, I’ve just never been asked on a date,” you exhaled. “I’m still trying to process that part of this conversation.”

“You’ve never been asked on a date?”

“Never.”

“Never ever?”

You laughed, “Never ever.”

Your head was still spinning from all this new information. The thought of going on a date with Josh was enough to have you smiling like an idiot and preventing yourself from doing a happy dance around the hallway.

“So,” Josh asked, drawing out the word. “What do you say?”

Yes. There was no hesitation. You started to say it when a new thought came zipping into your mind, stopping you dead in your tracks.

_Tyler_.

You still hadn’t had the talk with him about pursuing things with Josh, and there was no way you were going to agree to a date without running it by him first.

“Um, is it alright if I wait to give you an answer? There’s just a few things that I need to work out before I say anything final.”

“Yeah, that’s totally fine. And if you’re worried about saying no, I promise I won’t make it weird or anything. I just thought it was worth a shot.”

“No, no, it’s not that at all, Josh. I’ll call you tomorrow night with an answer.”

“That sounds great.”

“Um, I guess this is goodbye then?”

“Yeah, that sounds right.”

“Bye, Josh.”

“Bye, Y/N.”

You ended the call and held your phone to your chest, allowing yourself a moment to fully process everything that had just happened. After a couple deep breaths, you ran back down the hall and burst through the door of Carter’s apartment.

“Oh my god. Oh my _god_,” you said, hastily shutting the door behind you. “What is happening?”

Carter whipped around to face you, concern already etched across his features. “What? Is everyone ok?”

“Yeah, everyone is fine. Every_thing_ is fine. Kind of. Maybe.”

“Ok, ok, slow down. What did you and Josh talk about?”

“He asked me on a date,” you blurted out. “A real getting-food-together-and-being-romantic date.”

“And what did you say?”

“Maybe, because I still have to talk to Tyler and see if he’s ok with the whole idea.”

“I think that sounds like a solid plan, Y/N.”

“Car, this is a bad idea. Please tell me it’s a bad idea.”

“I think you’re overthinking this. It’s just one date. That’s it. I know you haven’t been on many dates-”

“No dates, actually.”

“Ok, you haven’t been on _any_ dates, but they’re not some big deal like you think they are. It’s like hanging out, but with a slightly more romantic undertone. You’re not promising to forever be devoted to Josh or anything.”

You nodded. Slowly but surely, your heart rate was slowing back down to normal and you were starting to feel calm again.

“I know, I’m just worked up because I’ve never been asked out like this, much less by some super attractive guy like Josh. Then you add in Tyler and it just becomes this big, overwhelming mess that I can’t seem to sort out.”

“Hey, remember what we talked about. Talking to Tyler is the first step, because if he’s not cool with it, there’s no date for you to even worry about.”

“Right. You’re right.”

Carter scooted a little closer to you so that he could put his hand on your back. You took a few more deep breaths as he lightly rubbed your back.

“I just don’t know what I’m doing, Car.”

“You don’t always have to know, Y/N.”

“What if I end up with the wrong person?”

“That’s not going to happen. You’re going to end up with who you were meant to end up with.”


	11. Chapter Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Name-calling/teasing, brief anxiety attack, self-deprecation, angst
> 
> Word Count: 1900
> 
> Author’s Note: Uh... I’m sorry? :)

“Georgie!” Y/N yelped.

She quickly paused our game of Mario Kart and went flying off the couch, stopping Georgie from scrambling up the bookshelves. I watched with wide eyes as she scooped him into her arms and held his wriggling body close to her chest.

“Is he supposed to do that?”

Y/N furrowed her eyebrows, “Climb the bookshelves? No. My dad would be furious.”

“No, I mean… wriggle. Like _that_.”

She looked down at Georgie, who was still rolling around in an attempt to find an escape. “He’s just trying to get out of my arms, but it’s impossible.”

Y/N held him until he finally calmed down and relaxed into her arms. Once he was settled down, she gently dropped him onto the ground. He looked around for a moment before sprinting towards the window where a few birds were flying around. I quickly pulled my feet up onto the couch, even though he was nowhere near me.

“He’s not going to attack you, Ty,” Y/N said as she fell back onto the couch. “He’s not evil.”

“He kind of has that vibe.”

“He’s a _cat_.”

“An evil one.”

Y/N reached over and lightly shoved at my arm; I laughed and ducked out of the way.

“Don’t call him evil, he’s just… chaotic.”

“Yeah, chaotic evil.”

“Tyler!”

“Ok, sorry, I’m done. Will you unpause the game now?”

“Will you stop calling my cat evil?” she asked, raising an eyebrow at me.

“Yes.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

Y/N started the game without any warning, leaving me scrambling to catch up. Thankfully my lead was good enough that I managed to maintain it, even with Y/N’s attempted sabotage.

“Isn’t the rule that we’re supposed to count down before we start the game?”

“Only when the other person isn’t being a dick about my cat,” she muttered.

“I said I would stop calling him evil!”

“Yeah, but I still had to get revenge for all the other times you called him evil.”

“Fine. It’s not like you’re going to win anyway,” I teased.

“You don’t know that!”

“I would say it’s pretty apparent, based on the clear lead that I have.”

“All it takes is one blue shell to make everything go downhill.”

“Is that a threat, Y/N?”

“Maybe,” she grinned, drawing out the word.

I took a second to glance at her screen, just to see what item she actually had. It was only a green shell, which she was too far from me to effectively use.

“Liar, you only have a green shell.”

“You cheater!” she laughed. “Keep your eyes on your half of the screen.”

“Doesn’t matter, because I won,” I grinned, setting my controller down in my lap. That win was enough to put me in the overall lead.

“You can’t get mad at me for breaking the rules and then just break them yourself,” she sighed as she crossed the finish line a short time later. “That just isn’t fair.”

“Life isn’t fair.”

Y/N shook her head as she stood up, stretching her arms out behind her. I cracked my knuckles and sank further back into the couch.

“Do you want to make some lunch? I need a break from video games.”

“You mean you need a break from losing?”

She turned to me as she was shutting off the console. Her mouth was curled up into the slightest hint of a smile. “You already won, Ty, no need to rub it in.”

“Alright, I’m done. I promise.”

Y/N once again scooped Georgie into her arms and disappeared into the hallway. I took a moment to stretch before following after her and taking the stairs down two at a time.

“What should we have?” she asked as she dropped Georgie to the floor.

“Sandwiches?”

“Sure. Just find whatever ingredients you want to use.”

I followed Y/N into the kitchen and helped her grab food from various shelves. Georgie ran by at one point, scaring me so bad that I smacked my head straight into an open cabinet. It took Y/N a solid thirty seconds to stop laughing so that she could ask if I was ok.

I was.

Eventually all of our ingredients were collected and laid out on the counter. I started to slice up some cheese to put on my sandwich. Next to me, Y/N was meticulously spreading peanut butter over a slice of bread. Her eyebrows were knit together as she chewed on her lower lip, and I was beginning to think it was for a bigger reason than peanut butter.

“Are you feeling ok, Y/N?” I asked.

“Yeah, I’m ok. Why do you ask?”

She reached over and pulled off a small corner of a slice of cheese that I had cut. I gave her a disapproving look, but she only smiled and handed the cheese to Georgie, who was now perched on top of the fridge.

“You just look nervous and I thought there might be something you’re not talking about.”

She set down her butter knife and rested her hands on the counter, tapping her pointer finger against it every so often.

“Well, ok, there is something.”

I stopped what I was doing and turned so that I could lean my hip against the counter. Y/N did the same, although she was avoiding looking at me. Her avoidance of eye contact was enough to make my stomach begin to twist uncomfortably.

“What’s going on?”

“Um, I don’t really know a good way to say this,” she said, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth again.

“That’s ok.”

“So, you know how Josh and I have been like… flirting, I guess, when we’re together?”

My jaw clenched, but I released it again before Y/N took notice.

“Yeah, I’ve picked up on that.”

“Ok, yeah, so basically he called me last night and he,” she cleared her throat, “he asked me on a date.”

“He _what_?”

“He asked me on a date, Ty. Like a proper date.”

The room started spinning. One of my hands flew to the edge of the counter, gripping it until my knuckles were white. The only sound in my ears was my rushing blood, echoed by the pounding of my heart in my chest. Y/N stepped forward and placed a hand on my arm, squeezing it through the fabric of my shirt.

“Tyler? Are you ok?”

I squeezed my eyes shut and opened them again, blinking rapidly. Y/N was staring into my eyes, her face a mixture of confusion and worry.

“Yeah, sorry, I’m ok. I didn’t realize he was going to do that.”

“Neither did I.”

“What did you say?”

“Nothing yet. I wanted to see what you thought of the whole situation before I gave him an answer. I don’t want to accidentally make things weird by going on a date with the guy you’re in a band with.”

My shoulders relaxed a little. She hadn’t given him an answer yet. That was a good sign.

“Listen, I can tell him no. You know that you mean the world to me, Ty, and I wouldn’t want to do anything to make you uncomfortable. It’s not a big deal to turn him down, Josh said that himself.”

I wanted to say no. I _started_ to say it, but then I remembered the way that her eyes lit up when Josh gave her a compliment, the way she had giggled when Josh had his arms around her, the way that she was always smiling around him. She was never that way around me.

Was I really so selfish that I would deny her that happiness?

“I think you should go,” I smiled.

Her eyebrows shot up, “You do?”

“Sure. Josh is a great guy and it’s obvious that you’re into one another. Why wouldn’t you?”

“Well, I just thought maybe you… never mind.”

Might be in love with you, too? Yeah, maybe.

I stayed quiet for a moment, waiting for her to finish the thought that was no doubt in both of our minds. She never did, instead picking up her knife once again and continuing to spread peanut butter onto her sandwich.

“It’ll be fun,” I reassured her. “Haven’t you talked about wanting to go on a date for years?”

“Yeah, I have.” I caught a glimpse of the grin she had on her face. “I’m excited. Josh is super sweet and he said he already has a plan for what he wanted to do.”

_Oh._

“That’s awesome, Y/N. I can’t wait to hear all about it.”

“Um, yeah.”

The two of us quietly finished making our sandwiches, too afraid to speak what was really on our minds.

* * *

I breathed a sigh of relief as I opened the front door to an empty apartment. There was no way I would be able to handle looking Josh in the face right now after everything that had happened at Y/N’s. The mere thought of their upcoming date made me sick to my stomach.

I kicked my shoes off by the door and rolled over the back of the couch, landing on the cushions with a thud. The air in the apartment was warm and sticky, uncomfortably filling my lungs as I tried to breathe deeply. My mind had already begun its downward spiral, bringing the rest of me down along with it.

I had spent the last six months convincing myself that I deserved someone like Y/N. Six months. There had been countless wars in my mind, debating the same things over and over. Every morning I would try and remind myself why I was worthy of love on the off chance that when I returned home, I would finally have enough confidence to tell her how I felt. I slowly stopped the familiar patterns of thought that shut me down every time I looked at her.

But what was the point of all that now? I had let it go, just because she started to show a little bit of interest in someone else.

Josh was a great guy. He was exactly the type of guy that Y/N deserved, something that I would never be. They would be happy together, and eventually I would forget about my feelings for her and find someone else to spend my life with. Y/N wasn’t the only person in the world for me, just like I wasn’t the only person in the world for her.

I flipped over onto my stomach and buried my head into the pillow. No matter what I tried, I couldn’t get the thoughts to stop. Y/N was the only thing that my mind could stay focused on for more than thirty seconds at a time. All I could think about was her laugh. Or the way she had so carefully touched my arm when she noticed me starting to panic. She knew me like nobody else did. Maybe that’s why she had been so quiet after our conversation, she probably knew that I didn’t like the idea of her going on a date with Josh. Not that I could do anything about it now, I had already said I had no problem with her going on the date.

I had lost my chance with her, and that was ok. Or at least, eventually it would be.


	12. Chapter Eleven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: None
> 
> Word Count: 2410
> 
> Author’s Note: I hope you enjoy the chapter! :)

“Ok, I think I heard his car,” you said, frantically rushing to the living room to get a look out the window. “I’ll talk to you afterwards.”

“Good, because I want all the details!” Marenna said. “Remember to take deep breaths and be yourself. He isn’t worth your time if you can’t be yourself.”

“Right, ok. He’s walking up to the door. Thanks for talking with me, Ren!”

“Anytime, Y/N. Good luck!”

“Thanks, bye!”

You managed to hang up the call and slip your phone into your pocket just as Josh knocked on the door. After a quick glance in the mirror and a small adjustment of your shirt, you opened the door with a smile. Josh was standing on the other side, holding a bouquet of bright yellow flowers.

“Hi,” you grinned, too distracted by his appearance at first to notice the flowers. He was wearing a pair of dark skinny jeans with a patterned button down. You had to admit, it looked really nice paired with his blue hair.

“Hey,” he returned your smile. “These are for you.”

“They’re gorgeous, thank you. Here, you should come inside while I put these in a vase.”

You tried to hide the smile on your face as you led Josh towards the kitchen. Georgie had also come running down the stairs to investigate what was happening. He was currently standing in the middle of the hall, watching the two of you with wide eyes.

“Who is this?” Josh asked, already making his way towards him.

“That’s Georgie. I would be careful, he can be a bit chaotic at times.”

“He doesn’t seem too bad.”

You watched with wide eyes as Josh bent down next to Georgie and gently began to stroke at his head. It took Josh turning to you and raising his eyebrows for you to remember what you had set out to do in the first place.

“Where did you get these?” you asked as you filled a vase with water. “They look so fresh.”

“My mom is friends with our neighbor, who just so happens to be a florist. I, um, may have struck up a deal with her to get some fresh flowers for you.”

“Such a gentleman.”

There was a smile on your face as you dropped the flowers into a vase and set them in the middle of the counter. Your parents would no doubt have plenty of questions for you when you got home, but that problem was far from the forefront of your mind.

“Ready to go?”

Josh finally stood back up to his full height, leaving a very disappointed Georgie sitting in the middle of the hall. He stuck his hands deep in his pockets and turned to you.

“Yeah, I think so.”

“Great, let’s get out of here.”

Josh held out a hand to you, which you happily linked your own with. Together, you walked out to his car. He even made a show of opening your door for you.

“Thanks,” you said, holding back nervous laughter as you sat down in the passenger side of the car.

“Of course.”

You nervously tapped your fingers against your knees as you waited for Josh to join you in the car. There were a few random things sitting around the dash area, but otherwise it seemed like Josh had made an effort to clean his car before picking you up.

“You know, Josh,” you started once he finally closed his door, “I really appreciate all the effort you’re making, but since this is my first date, the bar is _really_ low as far as expectations go.”

Josh grinned as he turned the key in the ignition, “Then I feel like it’s only fair to make sure you have a solid standard for other guys to measure up to in the future, that is, if I don’t impress you enough to score a second date.”

Yet again, you found yourself holding in nervous laughter. You had no idea what to expect for the rest of the date, but your mind was running wild with all the possibilities. It was taking everything in you to not ask Josh a million questions about what he had planned.

“What music do you want to listen to?”

“Oh, um, Tyler and I usually listen to Death Cab for Cutie when we’re together.”

You winced a little at your mention of Tyler. It probably wasn’t your best idea, considering you were on a first date with his best friend.

“I think I have some Death Cab for Cutie in here,” he said, completely disregarding your mention of Tyler.

Josh leaned over the console and opened the glovebox, brushing up against your arm as he did so. Inside was a number of CDs, all wrapped together in a rubber band. He pulled them out and handed them to you so that you could start to look through them while he drove.

“You still play CDs?” you asked as you began to flip through them.

“Yeah, I have a ton of them from when I was growing up and I figured there was no point in getting rid of them. Now I just keep them all in here to listen to when I’m driving.”

“Oh, this is a great album,” you smiled, pulling out one that you particularly liked.

“Go ahead and pop it in there.”

With some help from Josh, you managed to get the CD playing. Quiet music filled the car, creating a nice background to your conversation. You leaned back in your chair and took a deep breath, trying to forget about all your worries and just enjoy the sunshine and Josh’s company.

After all, it was just one date.

* * *

After a quick stop to pick up a milkshake from a place that Josh swore was the best in Columbus, the two of you found yourselves slowly walking along the Scioto River. Josh was in the middle of telling you a story from his childhood that was making you laugh so hard that your sides hurt.

“Yeah, so that’s a glimpse into who I was as a child,” he grinned. “Want some?”

You accepted the milkshake from his outstretched hand and took a long sip from your straw. It had taken you and Josh quite some time to decide on a flavor, but you eventually realized you had a shared love for cookies and cream and settled on that.

“Thanks. Um, ok, new question: where’s home for you?”

Josh let out a long breath of air and brought one hand out of his pocket to run through his hair. His mouth just barely started to curl up into a smile.

“That’s a tough question. Can I have a minute?”

“Take as long as you need.”

You took a moment to admire a nearby tree while you waited for Josh’s answer. Your mind began to wander, thinking of how you would answer the question when he inevitably echoed it back to you. Memories of long car rides with Carter, summers spent in the den with Tyler, and snow-covered city sidewalks all popped up.

“Ok, I think I have an answer.”

Josh’s voice pulled you back into reality. You almost jumped a little when you turned back to face him, not expecting the blue hair and stubble on his cheeks. Your eyebrows furrowed - had you really forgotten who you were on a date with?

“Let’s hear it.”

“I think home, for me, is where the people that I care about are. Right now, that’s Columbus, but who knows where that might be in the future?”

“I was just thinking the same thing,” you smiled. Had he taken notice of your confusion just a moment ago?

“Are you saying there’s people in Columbus that you care about?” he grinned, leaning into you a little.

You bumped him with your elbow. “Only because you said it first.”

“Hey, do you want to sit for a little while?”

“Yeah, that would be nice.”

Josh led you over to a nearby bench and sat down first, making sure to rest his arm along the back where it would no doubt be in contact with you. You took a seat next to him, leaving hardly any space between your thighs. Not that it really mattered; shortly after you sat down, Josh closed the space completely.

“I’m having a really nice time, Josh, thanks for taking me on this date.”

“You are? I was worried that it would be too boring since we’re just walking around, but I’m having a really nice time too.”

“How could I be bored when I’m walking along the river, drinking a milkshake, and learning more about you?”

“I don’t know,” he shrugged. “Maybe I’m boring.”

“You? Boring? You must be kidding, Josh.”

“Not kidding.” He turned to you with a small smile. “Just nervous.”

In a moment of bravery, you reached out and put a hand just above his knee. His smile grew a little from the gesture.

“If anyone has a reason to be nervous, it’s me.”

“I beg to differ. I’m the one on a date with a gorgeous girl.”

“And _I’m_ on a date with a gorgeous guy, what’s your point?” you grinned.

Josh tried to come up with an answer, but he was stumbling over his words. You were shocked that a few compliments was enough to make someone as confident as Josh blush and trip up.

“Thought so,” you said, taking a triumphant sip of milkshake.

“Hey, do you mind if I do something really cheesy?”

“How cheesy are we talking?”

Josh’s eyes narrowed for a moment as he thought. “Um, romantic comedy cheesy.”

“I think I can handle that.”

“Ok, do you mind, uh, taking a sip of milkshake?”

You smiled, already getting an idea of where this was going. Josh was giggling before you even brought the straw to your lips.

“Ok, this is where it gets really cliche,” he said.

You ignored the way your heart was pounding as Josh leaned in and started to drink from the other straw. He looked up and met your eyes, only making you more nervous. His eyes were such a wonderful chocolate color, not too unlike the eyes of somebody else that you knew…

The eye contact suddenly became overwhelming and you pulled away, all the while giggling nervously. Josh nearly got milkshake all over his pants from you pulling away so suddenly, but he managed to stop it from spilling down his chin.

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry, Josh,” you said, reaching out to put a hand on his shoulder.

“No, no, you’re fine. I wasn’t so sure that I would be able to keep doing that without laughing myself.”

You instantly relaxed, glad that you hadn’t accidentally ruined the date. Josh was just as nervous as you.

“Do you want to keep walking? There’s more to see down that way.”

“Yeah, that sounds great.”

Josh took the milkshake from your hands and tossed it in a nearby trash can - it was nearly empty, anyway - before rejoining you on the sidewalk. He held a hand out to you again, which you eagerly took into your own. There was something about holding Josh’s hand, even with all its callouses, that gave you a good feeling in your chest.

You and Josh walked along the river for another hour or so until the sun started to sink low in the sky. He said that he didn’t want to give your parents the wrong impression by keeping you out too late, no matter how many times you assured them that they wouldn’t care and were probably out with their own friends, anyway.

The ride home was peaceful; the sky was painted in varying shades of pink and orange, you and Josh continued to have conversations about your lives, and there was a warm breeze blowing through the open windows of the car. If it weren’t for Josh’s voice answering your own, you would have thought it was just another sunset drive with Tyler.

Tyler.

That was far from the first time he had popped into your head today. It seemed that not even a date with someone else was enough to keep him from your thoughts for long. You were beginning to think that the feelings you had for him hadn’t faded quite as much as you thought they had.

“This street, right?” Josh asked, ending your train of thought.

“Yeah, this is the one.”

Josh slowly pulled up against the curb in front of your house. As expected, the only light on was the one on the porch, meaning you would be walking into an empty house.

“I know I said this earlier, but I had a really nice time today, Josh. Thank you for taking me on this date.”

“So, what you’re saying is that there’s a chance I could get that second date?”

“Definitely a chance,” you grinned.

“Sweet,” he said, doing a little fist pump. “I had a really nice time today, too. Thank for you coming with me.”

“I’ll see you soon?”

You started to get out of the car, but Josh rested a hand on your arm before you got too far.

“Wait, Y/N.”

“Yeah?”

"Can I kiss you?"

A chill ran down your spine. "Kiss me?"

"Just on the cheek," Josh said, his mouth curling up into a shy smile. "Wouldn't want to take things too fast."

You weren't sure whether you were more relieved or disappointed. "Um, sure. Yeah," you smiled.

Josh leaned over the console and pressed a gentle kiss to your cheek. You bit down on your lip to stop from smiling like a total idiot, although the excitement was definitely still evident on your face.

“Bye, Y/N.”

“Bye, Josh.”

You finally got out of the car and closed the door, resisting the urge to touch the spot on your cheek where he had just kissed. He waved to you through the window before pulling away and disappearing around the corner at the end of the street. It took you a moment to actually start walking inside, your head was still reeling from the fact that you had just been on an actual date.

You had just closed the front door when your phone buzzed in your pocket. There were a few notifications that you had missed, but it was the most recent one that caught your eye: a text notification.

From Tyler.


	13. Chapter Twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Angst
> 
> Word Count: 1963
> 
> Author’s Note: I hope you enjoy this chapter! :)

The movie on the TV started to roll through the credits, but I was no longer paying attention; I had lost interest halfway through. It seemed my mind would much rather run through all the possibilities of what Y/N and Josh were doing on their date right now.

The sun was quickly getting lower in the sky, painting it all different shades of pink and orange. Y/N would probably be sitting on her deck and watching it right now, if she was even home. Josh had said that he didn't know how long he was going to be gone when he was leaving and I hadn’t gotten a single text from him since then. That was probably a bad sign.

Well, a bad sign for me.

The credits were already halfway over by the time I finally got out of my own head and decided to attend to the TV. I had put on some bad movie that Josh and I had in our collection in hopes that I would find some humor in the terrible acting - something that usually cheered me up - but that hadn’t been the case today. With a sigh, I grabbed the remote and shut the movie off.

A car honked outside as I got off the couch and shuffled towards the kitchen to grab a drink. My dishes from dinner were still sitting unwashed in the sink, so I decided to clean those up before Josh came home. He was always getting after me about leaving dishes around the apartment. Not to mention that I wasn’t so sure I would be able to stop myself from escalating an argument if he started one.

Keys jingled outside the door just as I grabbed a drink from the fridge. Shortly after, Josh walked inside. He was smiling to himself as he kicked off his shoes and hung up his keys by the door. I stopped my walk back to the living room and instead turned to face him, leaning one hip against the kitchen counter.

“Hey, how are you?” he asked.

“I’m ok. How was your date?”

His smile grew even more, putting that familiar discomfort into the pit of my stomach.

“It was really fun,” he nodded. “Y/N is super cool and that was honestly the best first date I’ve been on in a while.”

Of course it was, it was a date with Y/N.

“What did you guys do?”

“Um, I picked her up, then I took her to that milkshake place that I really like and we spent almost ten minutes debating what kind of milkshake we should get,” Josh laughed. “And then we just walked along the river for a couple hours talking and stuff. I took her home kinda early because I didn’t want to give her parents the wrong impression or anything, you know, since it was a first date.”

“Sounds like you nailed it, dude,” I said, forcing a smile. It wasn’t a lie, Josh had somehow managed to take Y/N on essentially what was her dream first date. It was impressive, considering they hadn’t known each other for very long. “Is there going to be a second date anytime soon?”

“I hope so. Y/N said that she might want to go on another date too, but I’m going to give it a couple days before I go asking her out again. You know, see how much we talk and all that.”

“That sounds like a good plan.”

That also gave me time to talk to Y/N and figure out how she was feeling about all of this.

“Yeah. How was everything here?”

“Great. I just had some pizza and watched a movie, nothing too special.”

“Did you write at all?”

I shook my head, “Not tonight.”

“That’s alright.”

“Yeah.”

“Anyway, I’m exhausted so I’m going to head to bed and watch a movie or something.”

“Goodnight.”

“Night.”

I watched as Josh walked down the hallway and disappeared into his room. My chest felt hollow as I stood in the middle of the kitchen, unable to tear my eyes away from where Josh’s door had just closed. The thought of Y/N and Josh together made my jaw clench. Tears started to form in my eyes as I slammed my drink down on the counter and pushed my palms deep into my eyes.

You lost her, Tyler. You brought this on yourself. You had your chance and you didn’t take it.

“Are you ok, Tyler?” Josh called through his bedroom door. He must have heard the commotion.

“Yeah! Just dropped the remote,” I lied. My voice didn’t sound right

“Ok.”

I swiped my drink from the counter and shuffled towards my room. At least Josh wouldn’t be able to see how much of a mess I was over this whole situation when I was behind a locked door.

Why hadn’t I just told her that I was uncomfortable with them going on a date?

My phone buzzed next to me as I was reaching for my drink. With my free hand, I flipped it over so that I could read the notification. It was a text.

From Y/N.

Confused, I picked my phone up and opened the message, only to realize that she was responding to one I had sent nearly half an hour ago. I didn’t even remember messaging her in the first place.

** _Y/N: _ ** _Hey! Sorry, you texted me right as I got home and then a million things came up all at once. I just got into comfy clothes and now I’m finally sitting on the back porch._

I smiled at the thought as I typed out my response.

** _Tyler: _ ** _No worries, I didn’t mean to interrupt your date or anything. I just got bored and you were the first person my mind went to_

It was partially true.

** _Y/N: _ ** _Did you want me to call?_

I thought about saying yes, but I knew we would inevitably end up talking about her date and I wasn’t so sure that I would be able to keep my voice steady.

** _Tyler: _ ** _Not tonight. I’m in the middle of watching a movie_

** _Y/N: _ ** _Ok, texting it is then :)_

** _Tyler: _ ** _How was your date, by the way?_

The text was sent before I even gave myself a chance to think about if I wanted to hear the answer or not. Deep down, I knew that I shouldn’t have asked, but curiosity always seemed to get the best of me.

** _Y/N: _ ** _It was really good! :)_

** _Tyler: _ ** _That’s it? Just really good?_

** _Y/N: _ ** _I thought you would have gotten all the nitty-gritty details from Josh by now_

** _Tyler: _ ** _He just gave me the basic rundown and went to bed_

** _Y/N: _ ** _Lame :P but, um, it was really good, yeah! He asked me a lot of questions and I asked him a lot of questions and we just had really nice conversation. I also almost got milkshake all over him at one point… so uh, yeah_

Y/N’s message made me chuckle, but it wasn’t enough to get rid of the hollowness that was still residing in my chest.

** _Tyler: _ ** _And how did you manage to do that?_

She didn’t start typing immediately like she had been, so I set my phone down and walked towards my dresser to grab my laptop and headphones. Maybe another movie would help me, now that my mind wasn’t running wild with all the possibilities of what was happening on their date.

My phone vibrated again as I was scrolling through Netflix, looking for something good to watch.

** _Y/N: _ ** _Well, he was doing the cliche movie thing where we drink from straws at the same time and he was so close and his face was just right there and my mind started to wander so I got overwhelmed… but he was still drinking when I pulled away so it got all over his face_

A chill ran down my spine. What had she been thinking about?

** _Tyler: _ ** _Was everything ok?_

** _Y/N: _ ** _With the milkshake? Yeah, we just laughed about it :P_

** _Tyler: _ ** _No, I mean with you_

She took a moment to start typing again. I continued to scroll through movies, looking for something that caught my interest.

** _Y/N: _ ** _Yeah, it’s just something dumb, I guess. But you know me, letting dumb things have an effect on me, even when I know they’re dumb_

I closed my laptop and rolled onto my back, determined to give Y/N my full attention if she needed it. For the time being, all my own worries were forgotten.

** _Tyler: _ ** _Do you want to talk about it?_

** _Y/N: _ ** _It’s ok, I’m texting Carter about it right now_

I couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed that Y/N didn’t want to confide in me. There were very few things that she didn’t tell me - having to admit her feelings for me during truth or dare pretty much threw all other boundaries out the window - meaning that whatever she was worried about was serious.

** _Tyler: _ ** _I’ll be here if you change your mind_

** _Y/N: _ ** _Thanks, Ty :)_

** _Tyler: _ ** _Of course :)_

** _Y/N: _ ** _So what did you spend your night doing?_

I thought about telling her what my night was like: staring out the window while my mind ran wild with possibilities of what they were doing, the stomachache that wouldn’t go away no matter what I did, and the way that my hands started to shake as I thought of Josh wrapping an arm around her waist and holding her close. My fingers started to fly across the screen, but I ultimately decided it wasn’t worth potentially ruining her night over. Instead, I settled for a simple answer.

** _Tyler: _ ** _Watched a movie. Ate pizza. Typical Tuesday night for me._

I set my phone down on my chest and stared up at the ceiling. There was still a bit of sunlight streaming in, casting long shadows. I wondered what the sunset looked like on Y/N’s back porch.

** _Y/N: _ ** _Sounds like fun :)_

** _Tyler: _ ** _Yeah, but it isn’t my preferred way to spend time_

I stared at the message for a few seconds before I hit send, knowing exactly where this conversation was going to lead. And if I told her what I really wanted to say… well, that was a dangerous game I was playing.

** _Y/N: _ ** _And what is your preferred way to spend time, Ty?_

My fingers tapped nervously against the edge of my phone. What did I have to lose?

** _Tyler: _ ** _With you :)_

I immediately locked my phone and tossed it onto the floor, out of arm’s reach. What did I think I was doing? Y/N had moved on, yet here I was still shamelessly flirting with her the same night that she had been on a date with my best friend. Did I think that was going to somehow win her back?

My phone vibrated on the floor, just barely audible through the headphones I was wearing. My stomach lurched as a variety of potential messages - mostly negative - played out in my mind. Even though I was hesitant to see what she said, reading the actual message was better than endlessly worrying about its contents.

** _Y/N: _ ** _Thanks, Ty. I like spending time with you too, you know_

My mouth curled up into a smile. Sure, it wasn’t the declaration of love that I had been hoping for, but it was certainly better than her getting angry with me. I reread the message a few times, using it as a reminder that one date with Josh wasn’t enough to erase all the history between us.

Maybe things weren’t over for me, after all.


	14. Chapter Thirteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Angst
> 
> Word Count: 2165
> 
> Author’s Note: I’m glad all of you were enjoying Tyler finally stepping out of his comfort zone a little in the last chapter :) and I hope you enjoy this chapter too!

“Did you need the soap?” Tyler asked.

You leaned over a little so that you could better see into the plastic bucket that you were currently filling with the hose.

“Yeah, do you mind bringing it over here?”

Tyler grabbed the bottle of soap that you had carried out from the garage and handed it to you. You tried to take it with your free hand, but you quickly realized you wouldn’t be able to hold it, open it, and fill the bucket up at the same time.

“And can you open it?” you asked, giving him your best cheesy smile.

Tyler sighed dramatically, but it was only for show. He happily took the bottle back from you and unscrewed the cap.

“Do you want me to pour it too?” he asked, mouth curled up into a half-smile.

“If you don’t mind.”

Tyler began to dump soap into your half-filled bucket. Bubbles began to form along the top, swirling around the edge. Pretty soon, bubbles were the only thing you could see.

“Ty! Tyler! Stop, that’s too much soap,” you giggled, reaching out to put a hand on his arm.

“What? Oh, sorry. The bubbles were mesmerizing.”

Tyler put the cap back on the bottle and set it off to the side before wandering back over to sit in the grass. You had decided to invite him over to wash your cars together - a task that you had been meaning to do anyway - so that you could figure out exactly where you stood with him, now that you had been on your date with Josh. Although Tyler had said he was cool with the entire situation, you had a gut feeling that things weren’t exactly as they seemed.

Not to mention that you were still trying to work out your own feelings.

“Ok,” you announced as you wandered around the side of the house to shut the water off. “I think we’re ready.”

“Do you have sponges?”

“Yeah, they’re by the bucket!”

By the time you arrived back in the driveway, Tyler had already slathered the hood of his car in soapy water. Even if you didn’t end up clearing anything up with him today, you were glad that Tyler’s car would at least get washed, for once.

“It’s looking better already,” you smiled as you grabbed your own sponge.

“Hey, the dirt on my car is part of its character.”

“How do you expect to get a date if your car is filthy?”

“If a girl can’t look past my filthy car, then she doesn’t deserve to experience all of this,” Tyler said, reaching his dry hand up to run dramatically through his hair.

You snorted and continued to scrub the dirt off your own car. “Is there anyone you’re interested in, Ty?”

From where you were standing on the far side of the car, there was no way for you and Tyler to see one another. You were glad for it, you weren’t entirely sure that you would be able to keep your face from betraying more information than you intended it to.

“There is one person, but I don’t know if it’s going to happen.”

“Why not?” you asked, scrubbing the side of your car a little more vigorously.

“The timing just didn’t work out.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.” You swallowed hard. At least this was confirming one thing you wanted to find out.

“It’s alright.”

You wandered back around the front of your car. Your intention was to dunk your sponge back in the bucket, but instead you found yourself admiring Tyler. He was carefully scrubbing at the side of his own car, unaware of you standing just a few feet away. His arms tensed as he moved them back and forth, occasionally pausing to scrub extra hard at a bit of dirt.

You shook your head and redirected your attention to the task at hand. Half of your car still needed to be scrubbed with soap before you could even consider rinsing, and each minute that you spent in the hot sun was making you more tempted to go inside. Sitting around and staring at Tyler was not an option.

For more reasons than one.

It only took another twenty minutes for you to be content with the cleanliness of your car. During that time, you and Tyler made conversation and cracked jokes at one another’s expense, as was typical between you two. You had tried on numerous occasions to bring up your date with Josh, but you kept chickening out before you could ask what his true feelings about it were.

“Hey, Y/N!” Tyler called from the far side of his car. “Catch!”

You turned just in time to see Tyler throw a sponge in your direction. Before you could fully register that you would need to move your arms in order to catch it, it hit you squarely in the shoulder. Your shirt was soaked immediately.

“Ty-_ler_!” you groaned. “You’re going to pay for that.”

“Oh yeah? Prove it.”

Making a split second decision, you dropped your own sponge and took off for the side of the house where the hose was still sitting, ready to be used. Tyler caught on immediately and took off after you, made evident by the sound of his Vans hitting the pavement behind you. Just as you were about to reach the small gravel path next to the driveway, Tyler wrapped his arms around you from behind and pulled you into his chest.

“Tyler! Not fair! I need my revenge.”

“No you don’t,” he laughed.

His arms were warm where they were wrapped around you, if not a bit damp from scrubbing down the entirety of his car with a sponge. The two of you were still moving around slightly, trying to find a comfortable balance after Tyler had just about knocked you straight into the gravel. Part of you never wanted to find that balance, just so you had an excuse to keep his arms around you.

“Ok, for real, I need to get the hose so we can wash our cars off.”

“Promise you won’t spray me with it?”

You crossed the fingers of the hand that was against your chest, out of Tyler’s line of sight. “Promise.”

Tyler released you from his grip and you stumbled forward a little, regaining your own balance now that Tyler was no longer holding on to you. He stood off to the side and watched as you carefully unraveled the hose before turning the water on. In order to avoid suspicion, you carried the hose back to the driveway and began to wash the soap off of your car.

“Are you going to rinse my car for me or am I going to have to snag the hose from you at some point?” Tyler asked.

“We’ll see how nice I’m feeling,” you giggled.

You carefully watched Tyler as he wandered off towards his own car. Right as he reached the far side of it, you turned the hose on him. He immediately turned away from the water, though it continued to splash against the hood up onto his back. After a few seconds, you turned the hose back to your own car. You didn’t feel like being _too_ cruel.

“Y/N!” he said, turning back to you. His hair was soaking wet and falling down into his face now. “You promised!”

“I had my fingers crossed,” you smirked as you continued to casually rinse soap off your car.

“I should have known something was up when you gave in that easily.”

“Ok, what do you say we call it even, finish washing the cars, and then go inside and have lunch?”

“I say that’s fair, as long as you give me a change of clothes.”

“I can do that.”

Tyler tried to wring out his shirt while you finished rinsing all of the soap off your cars. Once that was done and the two of you finished putting all the supplies away, you ran upstairs and grabbed Tyler some of Carter’s old clothes that he had given you. It was just a t-shirt and a pair of basketball shorts similar to what Tyler had already been wearing, aside from the fact that they weren’t soaked.

While Tyler was changing, you grabbed some fruit you had cut up with dinner the night before and made sandwiches. You decided that making Tyler’s lunch would be your peace offering for completely soaking his clothes, since it hadn’t been your intention to get _that_ much revenge.

“How do I look?” Tyler asked as he rounded the corner.

You held back a laugh at Tyler’s appearance. The shirt fit him surprisingly well. If you didn’t know any better, you would have thought it was one of his own. The shorts, on the other hand, were a bit loose on him, meaning that they had been cinched tight around his waist to keep them from falling down his hips.

“Never better,” you smiled as you finished making the second sandwich.

Tyler walked over and leaned against the edge of the counter, drumming his fingers against it. You finished putting away all the things you had pulled out from the cupboards before grabbing the two plates and handing one to him.

“Want to eat outside?” you asked.

“Yeah, that sounds good.”

You led Tyler outside and took a seat on the edge of the porch. He followed suit, leaving hardly any space between the two of you. Every time you went to take a bite of your sandwich, your arm inevitably ended up brushing against his.

You sat quietly for awhile, enjoying your food and Tyler’s company. It wasn’t until Tyler had come back from tour that you realized how much you missed days like these, just hanging out and not worrying about anything else going on in your lives. Today was just another reminder about why Tyler meant so much to you.

If only you could work out how _he_ felt about _you_.

“Has that tree always been there?” Tyler asked, gesturing to the other side of the yard.

“Which one? The big one?”

“Yeah.”

“Yes?”

“Oh. Huh.” You reached over and lightly shoved Tyler’s shoulder, making him laugh. “I never noticed it before!”

“How? It’s _right there_.”

“I guess I just never paid that much attention.”

You sighed and took a bite of a piece of fruit. Next to you, Tyler had already finished his food and had decided to lean back on his hands.

“Hey, Ty?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I ask you something serious?”

He leaned forward again, this time resting his elbows on his knees. You could just make out his profile from the corner of your eye.

“Sure.”

“When you said that you were ok with me and Josh going on a date… did you mean it?”

Tyler took a deep breath before he answered. “Of course I did. Why would I lie?”

“Because you care about me and it isn’t unheard of for you to sacrifice something of your own to make me happy.”

“I guess,” Tyler sighed and rubbed at the back of his neck, “it’s just uncomfortable, you know? To see the two of you together like that. It’s weird feeling like a third wheel when you’re with your two best friends.”

“I’m sorry, Ty. I had no idea it made you feel like that.”

“No, it’s ok. You two are happy, so that’s cool to see.”

You pulled your bottom lip between your teeth, wondering if you should speak the words that were really on your mind.

“Is it?”

Tyler turned his head towards you, meeting your eyes. His mouth was curled up into a partial smile, but you had known him long enough to recognize when it didn’t reach his eyes. There was a certain sadness to the way he was looking at you.

“Of course it is. All I’ve ever wanted is for you to be happy, Y/N. You and Josh deserve one another.”

You wanted to push further and ask why he had acted the way he did in the kitchen when you first brought up the date. You wanted to know why he kept flirting with you, even when you had shown such clear interest in Josh. Most importantly, you wanted to know why he wouldn’t just tell you the truth, no matter how hard you tried to get it from him.

“Thanks, Ty,” you mumbled.

“Are you going to go on another date with him?”

You set your food down next to you and leaned forward, burying your face in your hands. “I have no idea.”

“Because of me?”

“Because of a lot of things.”

He reached out and rested a hand on your back, lightly rubbing the area between your shoulder blades. It was comforting.

“Don’t let me impact your decision, ok? We’ll make it work, whatever it is. I’ll be ok with whatever you choose.”

_No, Tyler. I don’t think you will._


	15. Chapter Fourteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Angst
> 
> Word Count: 1829
> 
> Author’s Note: I hope you enjoy this chapter! :))

“I should probably get going,” I said.

The sky was starting to grow dark, pink just barely visible on the edges of the few clouds that dotted the sky. Y/N and I were still in the same spot on the porch, plates and all. We had spent the last few hours just talking, although after Y/N had brought up her date with Josh, we had decided to stay away from any more serious topics.

“Already?” she asked.

“It’s getting late.”

She started to protest, but eventually closed her mouth and nodded. I leaned forward and stood up, dusting a bit of dirt off the back of my - well, Carter’s - shorts. My arm felt cold where it had been pressed against Y/N’s.

“I’ll walk you to the door.”

I held a hand out to Y/N and helped her stand up. She collected the plates that we had left behind and led me inside. While she put them in the sink, I pulled on my shoes and grabbed my keys from where they were beside the door.

“Don’t leave yet, Ty!” she called from the kitchen.

“I’m not!”

She came down the hallway a few moments later, hastily wiping her hands off on her shorts.

“I just wanted to say thanks for coming over today,” she smiled. “I had a really nice time.”

“I did too,” I said, returning her smile. “And I’m sorry about earlier… you know, with the-”

“It’s fine. I’m just getting in my own head about this whole situation when really it’s pretty simple.”

My stomach twisted a little, “Right.”

“Um, so I’ll see you soon?”

“Yeah, I’ll see you soon.”

I held out my arms. Y/N looked at me for a second before her mouth curled into a smile and she happily crashed into me, wrapping her arms tightly around my torso. All the worries that had been bothering me just seconds before suddenly seemed to disappear as I held her close to me.

“Drive safe,” she mumbled into my shoulder.

“I always do.”

She finally let go of me and opened the front door, letting in a gust of warm air. I slowly made my way down the path that led to the driveway, letting all of the day’s events play out in my head again. It was impossible to keep the smile off my face.

* * *

The apartment was empty when I arrived home, making the front door echo an eerie amount as I shut it behind me. Josh had left a note on the counter, saying that he had gone out with some friends and would be back late. I couldn’t help the small smile that formed on my face. Although I liked living with Josh - at least, when he wasn’t making a move on Y/N - I had missed having an apartment to myself to work on music or do whatever my heart desired without anyone else making comments.

My first order of business was changing into my own clothes. Having a pair of Carter’s old shorts cinched around my hips wasn’t exactly my first choice for lounging around the apartment in. I grabbed a clean pair from my closet and pulled them on in place of the old ones. Carter’s shirt also ended up in the hamper, but I didn’t grab a new one. The apartment was oddly warm today and, well, there was nobody home to tell me that I needed to put a shirt on, anyway.

“Alright, let’s see what tonight’s dinner options are,” I said as I opened the fridge.

There were a couple boxes of leftover food that Josh had brought home, some random ingredients, and more cans of various drinks than I could count, but nothing caught my eye. With a sigh, I shut the fridge and decided to try the freezer, hoping there would be something other than just ice cream tucked away. As I soon found out, there was an unopened bag of chicken strips sitting just inside. Josh’s name wasn’t clearly marked anywhere on the bag, either, meaning they were fair game.

I turned the oven on to preheat, laid my chicken strips out on a baking sheet, and shuffled over to the couch to wait for the moment when I would be able to stick them in the oven. Until then, my plan was to find a movie that I could watch to keep my mind from overthinking the time I had spent with Y/N today. Things had seemed flirty between us, but maybe I was just overanalyzing all our interactions. After all, I was the one who had initiated most of it.

Then again, she had been pretty receptive to my advances, if you could even call them that.

I shook my head, frustrated that I had let my thoughts start to run away again. Y/N and I were friends, that was all. Friends could share physical contact and not have there be any hidden meaning behind it. I had made my choice to stay silent about my feelings, and I had to stick with it, no matter how badly I wanted to go back on what I said. That wasn’t fair to them.

Not wanting to sit with my thoughts any longer, I quickly switched over to my favorites playlist and clicked on the first one in the list. That would guarantee that I wouldn’t get bored and let my mind start to wander again, or at least, that’s what I hoped would happen.

The movie had hardly been playing for a few minutes when my phone began to vibrate in my pocket. I scooped up the remote from where I had tossed it and paused the movie.

“What’s up?”

“Hi,” Y/N said. She sounded flustered. “Sorry about calling. I was going to text, but then Georgie got into the bathroom and managed to string toilet paper all over the house so this was easier.”

“All over the house?”

“Yes! I went into my room for a few minutes to get changed and when I came back he had made a mess. I don’t even know how he ran that fast! Not to mention that he’s going through and shredding parts of it as I’m following his trail and cleaning it up.”

“I’m sorry, Y/N.”

“It’s fine. Although I will admit that I’m really starting to wish that I had convinced my parents to get a dog instead.”

“Dogs still make messes, you know.”

“Yeah, but they also snuggle with you.”

“Not worth it.”

“Your opinion doesn’t count because you don’t like animals,” Y/N giggled.

“Ok, whatever. Why were you calling me?”

“Oh, right! You just left your wet clothes here and I was wondering what you wanted me to do with them.”

“Do you mind hanging on to them for awhile? I can pick them up in the next few days.”

“Yeah, that’s no problem! I’ll even wash them for you so they don’t smell like gross car soap.”

“Thanks, Y/N,” I smiled. “I really appreciate that.”

“Yeah, anyway, that’s all I had to call you about.”

I was about to say something when the oven started beeping, announcing that it was finished preheating. With my phone still in my hand, I got up to stick my chicken strips in.

“What is that?” Y/N asked. “Is the fire alarm going off?”

“No, no,” I laughed. “It’s just the oven finishing preheating.”

“Oven? Preheating? Tyler… are you _cooking_?”

“Shockingly enough, yes.”

“Tour really changed you, huh? A few months ago I had to take you grocery shopping and now you’re making yourself dinner.”

“I couldn’t have done it without you.”

_There’s a lot of things I couldn’t have done without you_.

“I’m glad that I was able to teach you to be a functioning adult,” she laughed. The phone crackled a bit and my mind immediately snapped back to late nights on tour, staying up talking to Y/N until one of the crew members got mad and told me to go to bed. I was always cracking jokes to try and get her to laugh, just so I could hear it.

“I am too.”

“Anyway, you’re making dinner. I’m cleaning up after my cat. I really didn’t mean to interrupt your night, I can leave you to it now.”

“I really don’t mind, Y/N. You know I like talking to you.”

“I know, I know. I just need to clear my head. Go sit on the porch for awhile, maybe.”

I smiled to myself, “That’s all you had to say.”

“I’ll text you later tonight.”

“That sounds great.”

“Later, Ty. Try not to burn the apartment down.”

“I’ll try my best. Bye, Y/N.”

I set my phone down and began to drum my fingers along the counter, trying to decide what I wanted to do. My movie no longer seemed appealing, especially after that phone call. Y/N was the only thing on my mind now.

An idea suddenly popped into my head and I rushed down the hall to my room. My laptop was sitting on top of my dresser, like usual, so I quickly picked it up and carried it back out to the kitchen so that I could keep an eye on the chicken strips. One password and a few clicks later, I had the folder of photos of Y/N and I open.

I wasn’t nearly as sentimental as Y/N - far from it, actually - but I did enjoy looking back on old photos of us from time to time. Looking back at pictures of us from the start of our friendship never failed to put a smile on my face, especially when I thought about how much closer we had gotten since the pictures were taken.

I slowly clicked through the album, taking in all of the pictures. There were ones of us at my basketball games, no doubt taken by my mom, selfies that Y/N had forced me to take in the car shortly after I got my license, screenshots of times that we were having particularly funny text conversations, and a number of other random photos from things we had done together. She had been by my side since day one, no matter what arguments we got into or what people tried to get in between us. She never gave up on me.

So why in the world was I giving up on her?

I loved her. Even after all my attempts to get over her and all the nights telling myself that I would never be good enough, I loved her. I would never let myself live it down if I didn’t tell her how I truly felt. Y/N meant everything to me and then some. Even if nothing came of it and she still chose Josh, I knew what I had to do.

I had to tell her. And I had to do it _soon_.


	16. Chapter Fifteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: The tiniest sprinkle of angst
> 
> Word Count: 2117
> 
> Author’s Note: I hope you enjoy this chapter! :)

You watched the droplets of rain fall from the edge of the porch roof and onto the stones below. The patter of the rain was calming and, despite the summer storm that had rolled in, the air was warm. Marenna sat next to you, slowly sipping on a glass of iced tea. The ice clinked quietly against the edge of her glass.

“What’s on your mind, Y/N?”

You sighed and rested your chin in your hand. The two of you had initially decided to have a girls night since your parents were out of town and Carter was working late, but you had a gut feeling that you would inevitably end up talking to her about your situation with Josh and Tyler. Not that you minded, Marenna always had good advice when it came to these things.

“A lot of things. I never seem to catch a break.” You meant to laugh, but it came out more like a forceful exhale.

“Carter told me a little bit about what’s going on with Tyler.”

“What did he say?”

“Just that you’re conflicted. You like Josh but you don’t want to accidentally ruin things with Tyler, since you think there might still be something there.”

You nodded slowly. With everything that had happened in the last week, it seemed like a lifetime since you had last seen Carter.

“It’s only been more confusing since then.”

“Talk to me about it.”

“Well, I went on the date with Josh. It was nice, like, really nice. We laughed a lot and he seems like a really sweet guy and he made sure that my first date was really good, but…” You began to chew on your bottom lip. “I haven’t told this to anyone, but I couldn’t stop thinking about Tyler the entire time. I thought I was getting over him, Ren, I really did. But now? I have no idea what I’m doing.”

You brought your hands up over your eyes, trying to hide the tears that were beginning to form. Marenna saw right through this, of course, and gently wrapped an arm around your shoulder, pulling you closer to her. She lightly rubbed her thumb along your shoulder, comforting you.

“Hey, hey, Y/N, it’s ok. We’re going to figure this out.”

“This is so pathetic. I’m freaking out because too many guys are interested in me,” you sniffled, earning a laugh from both you and Marenna.

“To be fair, you’ve been put in a really tough situation. A new guy is clearly showing interest in you, but at the same time, the guy that you’ve been close to for years is sending you mixed messages. It’s ok to be confused and unsure about what to do.”

You leaned back slightly so there was more space between you and Marenna. A tear had slipped down your cheek, so you quickly wiped it away with the back of your hand.

“I thought it was going to be so simple. Tyler said he was ok with the date and I thought I was starting to get feelings for Josh, but then I was thinking about him the whole time and Tyler seemed uncomfortable with the date when I talked to him about it but he still won’t admit that he has feelings for me so maybe I’m just overthinking all our interactions and ruining this chance with Josh for nothing.”

“You know you can put all of this on hold, Y/N. Nobody is saying that you have to make a choice tonight, or tomorrow, or even next week. If those boys really care about you, they’ll understand you needing to take time to work this all out. And you know Carter and I are going to be here to help you, right?”

“I know,” you said, allowing yourself a small smile. “Man, I don’t know what I would do without you two.”

“You’re like my sister, Y/N. I’m always going to be here for you.”

Now your tears were falling for a completely different reason. You leaned forward and threw your arms around Marenna, holding on to her tightly. She lightly rubbed at your back, holding you just as tightly.

“Thank you, Ren. I’m so glad you’re in my life.”

Marenna held onto you until your breath was steady again and your tears had stopped falling. You still had a lot of unanswered questions, but now you at least felt like you knew how to handle it. Like Marenna said, you didn’t have to make a decision anytime soon.

The two of you sat quietly for awhile longer. Marenna sipped on her iced tea and you enjoyed the steady patter of rain on the roof. There was something about summer storms that always made you feel at peace.

“Hey, Ren?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I ask you a serious question?”

“Sure.”

“When did you know Carter was the one?”

Marenna’s eyebrows furrowed for a moment. but they slowly relaxed as her mouth curled into a smile. “Ok, I think I know. There was this day, it must have been when I was a sophomore in college, that I had to bail on a date because I had this big test to study for and I wasn’t prepared as I thought I was. My plan was to stay in my room all night and go over the study guide, but Carter insisted that he come over and help me study. I tried to get him to stay home because I knew it would be boring, but he was determined to come over, so I eventually gave in. He brought me dinner and helped me study and calmed me down when I started to panic about the test. That was when I realized that he really cared about me and my success, even if it meant he had to give up on a fun date. Plus, he managed to make something as boring as studying into something fun we could do together, which meant a lot to me.”

“I like that answer,” you smiled.

“Sometimes I wonder what in the world was going through my head when I broke up with him. I almost lost the best thing that’s ever happened to me because of one stupid argument.” She shook her head a little. “And I lost six months with him because of it. Sorry, this is probably weird to hear because it’s your brother, but sometimes I just start thinking about what would have happened if I never called him that one day…”

Now it was your turn to reach out and place a hand on Marenna’s shoulder. “Everything worked out in the end, Ren. You and Carter are happy together and that’s all that matters.”

“You’re right. My mind is just playing out all the different possibilities right now.”

“It’s ok.” The rain had picked up a little; it was now drumming loudly against the roof. “Do you think you and Carter are going to get married?”

“We’ve talked about it,” she shrugged. “Neither of us are really in any kind of rush to get married. Our main focus right now is just trying to find an apartment together.”

You gasped, “You’re moving in with him?”

“Did he not tell you?”

“No!”

“What an idiot,” she laughed. “We’re going to see if we can find a place that’s a bit closer to school for me, but worst case scenario I’ll move into his apartment.”

“Ren! That’s awesome! Now I can visit both of you at the same time!”

“Don’t you basically do that already? I’m always with Carter.”

“Ok, yes,” you giggled. “But now it will be, like, official.”

“Official. Yeah.”

You leaned forward a little, sticking your hand out so that it was under the rain. Droplets of water immediately covered your skin.

“What are you doing?”

“Just feeling the rain,” you said, turning back to Marenna. “It feels like forever since the last rainstorm. I’ve missed it.”

Marenna moved forward a little bit and held her own hand out under the rain. Her mouth slowly curled up into a smile.

“That is nice.”

“Tyler used to do it when we were driving. I thought he was crazy for having his window down when it was raining, but I tried it one day and understood why he did it. Now we both have our windows open when it rains,” you smiled.

“Tyler means a lot to you, doesn’t he?”

You nodded slowly. “That’s why I’m so afraid of messing this all up.”

“I know I don’t know him as well as you, but there is something I’ve noticed. That boy has stuck with you through everything. Every argument. Every forced confession. Every period of time spent apart. And my guess is that he’ll stick with you through this, too, no matter what you end up choosing.”

“You’re right, which is why I think it’s so dumb that-”

You were interrupted by a loud crash inside the house. In a matter of seconds, you were on your feet and throwing open the sliding glass door to see what mess Georgie had managed to get himself into this time.

Sure enough, one of the stools had ended up on its side and Georgie was standing in the middle of the kitchen island. He turned to you as you stepped inside, watching your every move. It was a relief to see that the most damage he had caused was knocking over a chair. There were plenty of other possibilities for him to wreak havoc when he was left inside alone.

“Georgie,” you grumbled. “We push the stools in for a reason and you _still_ manage to cause a problem! Who do you think you are?”

“What’s going on?” Marenna asked. She had followed you inside after watching you practically sprint across the porch.

“He just knocked a stool over, which really isn’t that big of a deal if you think about all the other problems he could have caused.”

“Do you want me to go put him in the laundry room?”

“Yes, please. At least until we decide to come inside and make dinner.”

Marenna carefully scooped Georgie off the counter and paraded him up the stairs while you finished picking up the chair and checking the floor for any scratches it may have left. As far as you could tell, there was no damage done.

“I filled up his food, so he should be pleased for awhile,” Marenna announced as she came back down the stairs.

“Thanks, Ren.”

“Of course. Did you want to go back outside?”

“Yeah.”

Marenna filled up another glass of iced tea before joining you on the edge of the porch again. From the sounds of it, she had added more ice to the glass, too.

“So, you were in the middle of saying something before Georgie decided to cause a ruckus.”

“Was I?”

“Yeah, something about thinking something is dumb?”

“Oh, right. I just think it’s dumb that there’s this whole debate in my head about what I’m supposed to choose when my heart has very clearly made its decision.”

“It’s a hard decision, isn’t it?”

“Only when I overthink it. I know what I want, I just need to trust myself.”

Marenna reached over and rested a hand on your back, “That’s good. Trusting yourself is good.”

“You’re the one that taught me to trust myself, remember?”

“I was?”

“Yes! Remember when we got our nails done and I couldn’t decide what color and you told me I had to trust myself to pick the right color? It was a smaller decision then, sure, but the lesson still stuck with me.”

“Wow,” Marenna smiled. “I guess I did.”

“You taught me a lot of things.”

“Don’t get all sentimental on me. _Somebody_ had to teach you some solid life lessons and there was no way Carter was going to tell you anything good.”

You started laughing and it wasn’t long before Marenna was joining in too. Poking fun at Carter was something the two of you had been doing since she had first started dating him.

“Are you going to tell him what we talked about tonight?”

“Only the parts that you say are ok to share, although I know he’ll try to get it all out of me.”

You nodded, “He does that.”

There was a pause in your conversation before Marenna spoke.

“How are you feeling, Y/N?”

“Better. I really appreciate you talking to me about all this, it helps a lot.”

“Of course, I’m glad it helps. Do you have an idea about what you’re going to do now?”

You turned to Marenna and smiled. “I think it’s obvious, isn’t it?”


	17. Chapter Sixteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Angst, lots of it
> 
> Word Count: 1843
> 
> Author’s Note: I hope you, um, enjoy the chapter? :)

I drummed my fingers along the steering wheel, trying for the third time to get myself out of the car and up to the door. My heart was already pounding just from being outside her house and I was afraid that I would lose any ability to speak the moment that she opened the door. My mind was also trying to sneak in its familiar thoughts, doing absolutely nothing to help my situation.

The song that had been playing ended, so I figured it was as good a time as any to get out of the car. Without giving myself a moment to second guess what I was doing, I opened the door and closed it behind me. My hands shook as I went to lock the car.

Y/N’s bedroom light was on, meaning that she was home. I briefly considered finding some rocks to throw at her window, but ultimately decided that would probably end up being more scary than romantic, considering she was home alone. I was already terrified enough for the both of us, anyway.

Y/N didn’t immediately come running down the stairs after I knocked like she usually did. I waited for a minute or two, but there was still no sound on the other side of the door. Maybe she had fallen asleep. Or she was busy. My body started to turn away from the door and make a beeline for the car until I remembered I was showing up at her house unannounced. In the evening. And she was home alone.

Of course she wasn’t going to answer the door.

I pulled out my phone and sent her a quick text, hoping that she would see it and come to the door. Then I could finally do the thing I should have done years ago.

** _Tyler: _ ** _Hey, it’s just me at the door. Sorry if I scared you._

Thirty seconds passed before I heard her footsteps coming down the stairs, ending with a thud that was undoubtedly her jumping over the last few steps. The door swung open a moment later, revealing Y/N in an oversized t-shirt and shorts. She smiled at me.

“Sorry about not answering. It’s late and my parents aren’t home so… you know.”

“Yeah, I know,” I smiled. “I didn’t even think of that, otherwise I wouldn’t have knocked.”

“It’s ok. Are you here to pick up your clothes?”

I had totally forgotten about that.

“I, um, was actually wondering if we could go on a walk? There’s something I’ve been meaning to talk to you about. Obviously I’ll take the clothes, though.”

Her eyebrows furrowed a little as she looked at me, but she nodded. “Let me just run upstairs and grab your clothes and a sweatshirt and then we can walk.”

“Ok.”

“Here, you can wait inside.”

I leaned against a wall in the entryway while Y/N ran upstairs. The house smelled faintly of cookies, reminding me of the day that I had told her about getting signed to a record label. Things had been so different then.

“Georgie? Where the heck did you go?”

“Is everything ok?”

“Yeah, I just can’t find the cat! I promise I’ll be down in just a second.”

“Take your time.”

A few minutes later, Y/N came down the stairs with my clean clothes in her hand. She was wearing the sweatshirt that I had given her right before leaving for tour, on our last day together. It looked better on her than it had ever looked on me.

“Ok, I’m ready,” she smiled, quickly grabbing a house key from the hook on the wall.

“I’ll take those,” I said, reaching a hand out toward my clothes.

While Y/N locked up the house, I ran down to my car and tossed the clothes in my front seat. My hands were starting to shake again now that we were back outside. Was I really going to go through with this?

“Which way do you want to go?” Y/N asked. I hadn’t even realized that she was behind me.

“Um, whichever.”

“Alright, let’s go this way.”

I fell into step with her on the sidewalk, keeping my hands buried deep in my pockets so that she wouldn’t be able to see how badly they were shaking. The neighborhood was quiet, aside from the occasional car or water falling from a tree onto the pavement below. It was still damp from the rain showers earlier in the day.

“Did you make cookies today?” I asked, hoping to keep the conversation off of anything serious for now.

“I did. How did you know?”

“Your house smelled like cookies.”

She laughed quietly. “Yeah, I made them since my parents are coming home tomorrow morning. I just wanted to make something nice to surprise them.”

“How has being home alone been?”

“Fine,” Y/N shrugged. “Kinda scary at night, I guess, but I have Georgie to protect me. Marenna came and visited for a while the other day, too, so that was nice. It’s not as lonely as I thought it would be.”

“And Carter and Marenna are still together?”

“Yeah.” Y/N cast a confused glance in my direction. “Sounds like they’re going to be moving in together soon.”

“Oh, that’s really cool.”

“Yeah, I think so too.”

“It looks like it’s going to rain some more,” I said, looking up at the dark clouds overhead.

“I hope so. When Marenna was over, we sat out on the porch while it poured like we do sometimes. It was really nice.”

“Did you hold your hand out in the rain?”

I turned to look at Y/N. She was smiling to herself as we walked along, occasionally kicking at a pebble or bit of loose pavement. Before I knew it, I was smiling too.

“Of course I did. I do it all the time because of you.”

She leaned over and lightly bumped my arm with her own. I jokingly rolled my eyes and bumped back into her.

“That’s cool.”

My brain was scrambling to think of something else to talk about, but my nerves were making it difficult. Y/N didn’t seem to mind the silence, she had gone back to taking in our surroundings.

Or so I thought.

“Hey, Ty?”

“Yeah?”

“What did you need to talk to me about? Because I’m pretty sure you didn’t want to go on a walk just to ask about Carter and baking cookies,” she laughed.

“Oh, um, there’s actually something that I’ve been meaning to tell you.”

Y/N stopped walking and turned to face me, so I did the same. My mouth was dry and for a moment I wasn’t so sure I would be able to get the actual words out.

“What’s up?”

“I, um…”

Y/N’s eyebrows raised slightly. I reached one hand up to rub at my neck in some kind of attempt to soothe my nerves. My eyes locked to hers and I took one final, shaking breath before I said the words that I had practiced in my head so many times.

“I’m in love with you, Y/N.”

Her eyes widened significantly. I watched as she struggled to form words, even bringing one hand up to cover her mouth. She shook her head from side to side, no longer meeting my eyes.

“You don’t mean that. You’re messing with me.”

“I’m not messing with you, Y/N. I promise.”

I held one hand out, extending my pinky. Her eyes lifted from my hand to my face, taking in all my features and looking for any sign that I was lying. With each second that she was quiet, I felt my stomach twisting a little more. My hand slowly dropped back to my side.

“How long have you felt that way?” she asked.

I didn’t answer. I couldn’t get myself to say it.

“How long, Tyler?” Her tone was more serious now.

My answer was quiet. A single word that was hardly more than a whisper. “Years.”

“Years?”

I nodded. Y/N had turned away from me now, her hands tangled up in her hair.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Listen, Y/N, it’s complicated. I-”

“No, Tyler,” she cut me off. “You know what’s complicated? Complicated is being in love with your best friend who insists that they don’t feel the same way, no matter how much they flirt or act like they do. Complicated is going on a date with a guy, but thinking about someone else the entire time. Complicated is wondering if you’re ever going to be able to move on or if you’re going to spend your entire life in love with someone who you think will never feel the same. You know what isn’t complicated? Telling someone how you feel. I would know, considering I had to admit it in front of all of our closest friends. Did you ever think about that?”

“Please, Y/N, can I just explain?”

“Tyler,” she shook her head. “I want to listen, I do, but I can’t right now. I’m going to end up saying something that I regret because I’m… furious, ok? And I don’t want to do that to you.”

“I should have told you earlier. I’m sorry.”

Y/N’s back was half turned towards me, but I could still tell that she was crying. She was hastily wiping away tears with her sweatshirt sleeve.

“You should have. It would have saved us a whole lot of trouble.”

“I know. I messed up. I _really_ messed up.”

Y/N didn’t say anything for awhile. She just stood a few feet away from me with her eyes cast to the ground, occasionally sniffling. I fiddled with the hem of my shirt, just to give my hands something to do other than idly shake.

“I think I need some time, Tyler,” she finally said. Her voice was quiet and it didn’t sound quite right. “And space, just to figure out where my head is at.”

I nodded. “I understand.”

She started to walk away, but I gently caught her arm, just barely resting my fingers against it. She stopped, but didn’t turn to look at me.

“What?”

“I just have one more question.”

“Ok.”

“Can you just let me know that I didn’t screw things up? You know, for good?”

It was a selfish question, but I wasn’t sure that I would be able to handle not knowing the answer.

“We’re going to be fine, Ty.” I had never been so relieved to hear her use my nickname. “Like I said, I just need space.”

“Ok.”

She pulled her sleeves down over her hands and walked away. I stood frozen in place, deciding to give her some time before I headed back in the same direction to get my car. My feet felt too heavy to move right now, anyway. Y/N turned to look at me for a moment before rounding the corner, disappearing almost immediately behind a fence.

And with that, I was alone.


	18. Chapter Seventeen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Angst
> 
> Word Count: 2331
> 
> Author’s Note: I just wanted to take a quick moment to say thank you to everyone who left comments on the last chapter because your reactions were absolutely priceless and I had a great time reading all of them :) and even if you didn’t comment, thank you for taking the time to read! Anyway, with that being said, I hope you enjoy this chapter :)

You slammed the front door behind you and leaned against it, immediately burying your face in your hands. Now that you were home, safe behind a closed door, you let out all the sobs that you had so carefully been keeping in. Tears were freely streaming down your face, soaking the sleeves of Tyler’s sweatshirt.

Tyler’s stupid sweatshirt.

You tugged the sweatshirt off your body - nearly pulling your t-shirt off with it - and tossed it into a heap at the bottom of the stairs. Chucking it at the ground loosened the knot in your stomach a little, just from allowing yourself to release a little tension. Now that the sweatshirt was off, you stomped up the stairs and let Georgie out of the laundry room. He immediately went sprinting past your feet and down the stairs.

Your brain was so muddled with thoughts that you couldn’t quite work out which emotion you were feeling. All you knew was that crying was the only thing making you feel a little calmer right now, so that’s what you were going to continue to do. Besides, you were home alone so it’s not like you were going to bother anyone.

You decided to get in bed and stay there until you finished crying. Nothing was going to be able to get you out of bed. Not even when you inevitably heard Tyler’s car start up as he finally left your house. Not Georgie knocking something over downstairs. Nothing. You were going to stay here until your tears were dried and you finally felt like you could get a clear thought through your head.

You were still in bed an hour later, although your tears had stopped long before that. As it turned out, wrapping yourself up in blankets - even despite the hot weather - was a good way to calm yourself down. Your thoughts were slowly beginning to work themselves out.

With a small grunt, you threw the blankets off of your body and decided to see what damage Georgie had caused downstairs. He had been surprisingly quiet, which you figured was more likely a bad sign than a good one. Still, you found yourself hoping you wouldn’t have to spend the next twenty minutes cleaning up some mess.

To your surprise, Georgie was curled up on the sweatshirt that you had tossed aside, fast asleep. He didn’t even stir when you arrived at the bottom of the stairs. Your shoulders instantly relaxed. At least that was one thing that you didn’t have to worry about.

The rain had picked up again while you were in your room. It was harder tonight, coming at the house sideways and soaking most of the deck. Sitting on the deck and enjoying the sound was out of the question, unless you wanted to end up soaked straight through your clothes. Instead, you decided to grab yourself some fruit and sit in the den where you could hear the rain pattering against the skylight.

Your mind wandered as you carefully sliced up strawberries. Tyler was in love with you. It was true, and you could repeat it to yourself as many times as you wanted. Even if there was still a whole mess for you to sort through, the thought of Tyler returning your feelings was enough to make your heart skip a beat.

He loved you. He loved you. _He loved you_.

The joy only lasted so long before you began to think of Josh. You had gotten his hopes up about the prospect of a relationship, only to realize that you were still in love with his best friend the entire time. That wasn’t so bad - some bad judgement on your part, sure - but it could be easily explained. People were unaware of their true feelings all the time, and that’s exactly what had happened to you.

But now, Tyler was involved.

What was Josh going to think if you told him you didn’t feel the same and then immediately ran into Tyler’s arms? It was going to seem like you toyed with his feelings just for fun, which had never been your intention. Josh was a great guy and you would have been totally happy with him if the circumstances were different, but as long as Tyler was around you should have known he was the one that was always going to have your heart.

Tears started to pool in your eyes again, so you stepped away from your fruit and began to fan your eyes. You weren’t entirely sure that it was going to do anything effective, but at least it gave you some form of distraction from thinking about how terrible of a person you were.

Ok, so maybe it wasn’t totally working.

You eventually managed to calm down and go back to making a nice fruit salad for yourself. There was no way for you to predict how Josh was going to react in this situation. Tyler might have talked to him about the whole thing without you knowing. Maybe that’s why Tyler had finally confessed in the first place.

You found yourself wishing that you hadn’t left Tyler alone on the sidewalk, but you also knew that it had been the right choice. Your thoughts had still been muddled and you had been angry - you still were a little upset, if you were being honest - and you hadn’t wanted to say something you would end up regretting. At the very least, you wished you had given him a chance to explain himself. He had looked so distraught when you exploded on him, and you hadn’t even given him the entirety of your side of the story.

You sighed. There were a lot of things that still had to be worked out, it seemed.

Once your fruit was cut up and everything was back in the fridge or cleaned up, you started to make your way back up the stairs. Georgie was still fast asleep on the sweatshirt.

“Hey, Georgie-bean,” you said, using the nickname you saved only for when he was being particularly sweet. “Can you get off my sweatshirt, please?”

Nothing.

“Georgie,” you whined. “Wake up!”

Georgie suddenly blinked awake and rolled onto his feet. He looked at you for a moment before running upstairs.

“Typical,” you muttered as you scooped up the hoodie and tucked it under your arm.

You grabbed a heap of blankets from your room and carried them into the den with you. Georgie was already in there, playing with some toy that he had managed to get stuck under the couch. He didn’t seem to mind as you collapsed down on the cushions and wrapped yourself up, leaving only your head and one arm exposed so that you could still eat your fruit.

You put on your favorite TV show to try and keep your mind occupied, but you still found yourself thinking over all the things you could have done differently to avoid this situation. You could have trusted your gut about your feelings for Tyler. Or you could have grilled him harder when he freaked out about your date with Josh, which you now realized he had almost definitely lied about being ok with for your sake. You could have even called him out when you had your big argument back in March when he claimed to only flirt with you because he felt bad - another lie.

Although you were upset with Tyler for how he had handled this entire situation, the person that you were really upset with was yourself. You knew Tyler almost as well as you knew yourself, so you should have recognized when he was lying to you. Then again, you trusted Tyler more than anyone. Why would you question the words coming out of his mouth?

You groaned and leaned further back into the couch. This was exactly why you had told him you needed time to work this entire situation out in your head. Every time that you thought you had figured out an answer, a new question decided that it needed to take its place.

You were about to exit your blanket nest and carry your bowl back downstairs when Georgie hopped up on the couch. He wasn’t running around, which was a surprise, but rather slowly making his way towards you. After a brief stretch, he climbed into your lap and made himself comfortable on the pile of blankets covering you. It was a rare occurrence that Georgie stayed still long enough to cuddle with you, so you knew there was no way you were moving from your spot now.

In fact, the combo of a cat in your lap, the rain hitting the skylight, your favorite show playing, and the blankets surrounding you proved to be the perfect thing to lull you into a calm sleep.

* * *

You were jolted awake by your alarm. At least, that’s what you thought it was until you grabbed your phone and realized that you were getting a phone call. It took you a second to read the name of the person calling; your eyes were still blurry from your impromptu nap.

Tyler.

You sighed and tossed your phone back down on the couch. Your tired state paired with the emotions of earlier that evening were far from ideal conditions to be talking to Tyler after your argument, if you could call it that. Instead, you just let the phone ring until it eventually stopped.

The clock in the corner of the room read 10:30, so you figured it was as good a time as any to start getting ready for bed. Georgie had already left your lap - probably to make a mess now that you were no longer aware of what he was doing - and Netflix had been asking you if you were still watching for an indefinite amount of time. You shut the TV off and slowly carried the blankets back down the hall to your room.

Georgie was already in your room, it turned out, once again curled up on your sweatshirt from Tyler. You took a moment to admire him, peacefully stretched out on the bit of dark fabric. It would no doubt be covered in cat hair the next time you decided to wear it, but it was worth it if it meant he was calm and asleep. It wasn’t often that he didn’t make a mess in the middle of the night.

You quickly got ready for bed, wanting nothing more than to be under your covers and listening to the rain quietly dripping from the roof as you fell asleep. Despite your nap not even ten minutes ago, you were still exhausted and ready to shut your brain off. All the overthinking and crying had really taken it out of you, it seemed.

There was a notification on your phone when you picked it up off the couch - a voicemail from Tyler. You decided it would have to wait until you were in bed and about to go to sleep, just in case he said something that would make you emotional again. Crying as you set up fans and put some music on didn’t really sound ideal.

It was a relief when you finally crawled under the covers. Your music - a CD that had your favorite slow songs off of Tyler’s three albums - was playing at the perfect volume and your fans were pointed directly at you, keeping you from getting too hot while you slept. The rain had picked up a little, too, making it easier to hear through your open window.

You grabbed your phone and went to your voicemails. It took you a second to work up the courage to hit play on the one Tyler had sent, but once you brought your phone to your ear you knew there was no going back. Hopefully it was something nice and not him being upset with you.

“Um, hi, Y/N,” he started. “I know that you said you wanted space, and I respect that - I promise this will be the only call and voicemail you’ll get from me - but I just wanted to tell you again that I’m so sorry about how I handled this. Hopefully it will make more sense when I explain myself, whenever that is. Yeah, I, uh, should have told you how I felt a long time ago. I’m sorry for all the time we missed out on because of it. But, I just wanted you to know that… what I said… it’s all true.” There was a pause and you could hear Tyler take a shaky breath. “I love you. I mean it.”

The voicemail ended and you stared at the ceiling for a moment, taking in everything that he had said. Happiness bubbled in your chest for just a moment before it subsided again. You brought your phone in front of your face, rewinding the voicemail so that you could listen to it a second time. And then a third. And a fourth.

You eventually turned your phone off and plugged it into its charger next to the bed, knowing that you couldn’t just listen to the voicemail all night. Your eyes were starting to get heavy and the rain was doing nothing to help your tired state. After one final glance at Georgie to make sure he was still fast asleep, you laid down and got comfortable on your pillows. Lovely came on right as you shut your eyes.

Your mouth curled up into a small smile as you listened to the lyrics. It was a song that Tyler had sworn he hadn’t written for you, but given his newfound history of lying about things when it came to you, you were beginning to think that wasn’t entirely true. For a moment, you forgot about all the worries in your head and just thought about Tyler.

You fell asleep with his words echoing in your head.

_I love you. I mean it._


	19. Chapter Eighteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Angst
> 
> Word Count: 1860
> 
> Author’s Note: Enjoy the chapter :)

I hastily scribbled down a new song lyric that popped into my head before returning to my keyboard, testing out another set of melodies that I hadn’t been able to find a song for yet. My head bobbed slightly as I played, trying to focus on both playing the music and carefully listening to and pairing it with lyrics in my head. The last few days had been a whirlwind of songwriting for me.

I had talked to Y/N sporadically since my confession. It was mostly her texting just to make sure I was doing ok, to which I gave the same answer each time: I was doing fine, there was no rush for her to talk to me, and to let me know if there was anything I could do. Our conversations generally ended shortly after that. Despite her reassurance that everything was fine, there was still a part of me deep down that worried I had ruined things for good.

My phone started to vibrate against my keyboard, pulling me out of the songwriting trance I had been in just moments before. My stomach dropped as soon as I read Y/N’s name on the caller ID. This was the first time that she had called me since, well, everything.

I cleared my throat before answering. “Hey.”

“Hi, Tyler.”

“What’s going on?”

“I was just wondering if we could talk about what happened. In person.”

I turned to look at the clock on my bedside table. It was almost ten, which seemed late for getting together, but I wasn’t about to let this discussion be put off any longer.

“Yeah, that’s great. Do you want me to come over or-?”

“I was thinking we could go up to the stargazing spot? We haven’t been in awhile and it’s quiet up there.”

“Um, yeah. For sure. Do you want me to pick you up?”

“Can you?”

“Of course.”

“Ok, I’ll get ready, then. Let me know when you’re on your way.”

“I always do.”

“Later, Ty.”

“Bye.”

I quickly wrote down the last few lyrics and melodies stuck in my head before getting up and changing into clothes. Tonight had the potential to be one of the best nights of my life.

Or one of the worst.

* * *

The car was silent. Or at least, the conversation was. Music was playing quietly, but neither of us were singing along. Y/N was staring out her window with her feet kicked up on the dash. The only thing she had said to me so far was a hello when she first got into the car. I had tried to make conversation after that, but it quickly became apparent that she wasn’t in a talking mood. Not yet, anyway.

The small parking lot on top of the hill was empty, making it easy for me to back into a spot. Y/N wordlessly reached into the back and grabbed one of the blankets that I had brought. I shut the car off, making sure to put my keys in my pockets before I accidentally locked them inside, and grabbed my own blanket. She had already gotten out of the car.

“Sorry this isn’t as good as your brother’s truck,” I said as I hopped up onto the trunk. My feet dangled a foot or so above the ground.

“Better than sitting on the dirt,” Y/N said as she brought her blanket around her shoulders. For a second, I could have sworn that she was smiling.

“And we can actually see the stars, now that the storm finally cleared up.”

“Exactly.”

As much as I wanted to fill the silence between us, I figured it was best to wait and let Y/N initiate the rest of the conversation. There would be plenty of time to tell her my side of the story later.

It was a few minutes before Y/N finally said something.

“Sorry that I was so quiet in the car. I guess I’m still trying to figure out what my thoughts about this whole situation are.”

“You don’t need to apologize. I dropped this huge bombshell on you at a really bad time. Take as much time as you need.”

I turned to look at Y/N, but she was too busy looking up at the stars to notice.

“Why now?

“What?”

She turned to look at me. “Why now? If you’ve known you’ve loved me for years, then why didn’t you ever tell me?”

“There were… some issues that I had to work through before I felt ready to tell you,” I sighed. “And it took me a long time. A really long time. I wanted to tell you as soon as we got back from tour, but then I wasn’t sure if you would feel the same after being apart for three months, so I put it off even longer. Then Josh came into the picture and I thought I had lost my chance. I figured, at this point, there was nothing left for me to lose.”

“You should have told me sooner.”

“No, I know. I really messed that up.” I reached up and rubbed at my neck. “I’m sorry.”

“That’s why I was so upset,” Y/N explained. She was idly kicking her feet. “You knew how I felt, but you still put it off until I dragged Josh into the middle of this whole mess. And I’m not mad at you, not really, I’m just frustrated because I feel like a jerk for leading him on.”

“You didn’t lead him on, Y/N. You were genuinely interested in him, right?”

“Right.”

“Then you didn’t lead him on.”

“I just feel bad,” she sighed. “Like, isn’t it going to be weird if I go running into your arms a week after going on a date with him?”

“Well, um, I might have had a conversation with him about all this.”

“You did?”

“Yeah, because I didn’t want to just slide in and steal you from him, since I did kind of eventually figure out that you still felt the same.”

“What did he say?”

I let out a long breath of air, “He was mad at me for a little while, you know, about the lying and stuff, which is totally understandable. It didn’t take long for him to come around, though, and he was just happy that I was finally going to tell you the truth.”

“At least he’s cool with it.”

“Yeah, him being mad at me for a day was a small price to pay, I think.”

Y/N nodded, but didn’t say anything else. I adjusted the blanket that I had around my shoulders, loosening it a little bit.

“Hey, Y/N.”

“Yes, Ty?”

“I know I’ve said this a lot, but I really am sorry for creating such a mess. Not just now, but all the times I lied when I shouldn’t have. I want to make it up to you, in whatever way I can.”

She paused for a moment, “I think I have an idea.”

“What is it?”

“Tell me why you lied. And don’t tiptoe around the real reason, just be completely and totally honest with me. Please”

A chill ran down my spine. I had never explained it out loud to anyone before. “Right.”

“I’m not going to get upset, Ty. I promise. I just want to know why you did it.”

“Ok.” I cleared my throat. “I’m not really sure how to explain this, but, um, ever since I realized I was in love with you, I convinced myself that I wasn’t good enough. I didn’t think that I was worthy of being loved or loving someone, especially you. For so many years, I tried to stop my feelings for you because I knew you deserved someone better than me. That’s why I lied. About everything. Because I knew the second that you realized the feelings were mutual, we would end up together and I would inevitably ruin the one good thing that had ever happened to me.”

“Ty,” Y/N said quietly. “Why in the world would you think that?”

My jaw clenched in an attempt to stop the tears that were forming. It felt weird to finally let all those feelings out after years of keeping them inside, letting them repeat themselves over and over until I felt like they were true.

“You know why.”

Y/N studied me for a moment, her eyebrows knit together in concern. I only managed to keep the eye contact for a few moments before I looked away, feeling too embarrassed to look at her. She slowly reached out and rested a hand on my forearm, her fingers just barely brushing my skin. The touch was enough to send tingles up my arm.

“Tyler, will you look at me?”

I took a deep breath before turning to look at Y/N. She moved her hand down my arm until she could lace her fingers with mine. It felt so natural to be holding her hand, like my fingers were meant to be interlocked with hers.

“I love you.” My breath hitched a little hearing those words come out of her mouth. “I’ve loved you for years and, at this point, I think I’m always going to love you, no matter what happens between us. Nothing has ever changed that. You are… I don’t even know if I can put it into words. You mean the world to me and there’s nothing that I wouldn’t do for you. The fact that you think you don’t deserve that or think that you haven’t done the same for me… it breaks my heart. I just wish that you could see yourself the way that I see you. I love you, Tyler Joseph. I love every last thing about you.”

She squeezed my hand, her eyes never leaving mine. My heart was pounding so hard against my ribcage that for a moment I swore it was rattling in my chest. I couldn’t get my eyes to leave hers. The only time that she broke eye contact was when she glanced down at my lips, just for a split second.

“I love you too,” I said. It was hardly more than a whisper.

“Can you say it again?”

I was smiling before the words were even out of my mouth. “I love you, Y/N. I mean it.”

My hand moved to the side of her face, pulling her closer. I raised my eyebrows slightly, giving her a chance to resist my actions, but she didn’t. Her eyebrows raised to match mine, giving me all the permission that I needed.

I pulled her towards me, crashing my lips against hers. Her free hand flew to my knee, steadying herself as I held her close. Her lips were soft and warm and fit perfectly against mine. Before long, both of us were smiling but neither of us wanted to be the first to pull away. So we didn’t. We just held each other close and smiled and kissed.

And for a moment, we were the only two people in the world.


	20. Chapter Nineteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: None
> 
> Word Count: 2255
> 
> Author’s Note: This chapter takes place immediately after the last one! Just wanted to make sure that was clear. Anyway, I hope you enjoy the chapter! :)

“Tyler,” you gasped, finally breaking away from the kiss.

“What?” His face was still only a few inches away from yours, one hand still resting against your cheek. “Is that not what you wanted?”

“No, no,” you laughed quietly. “That’s exactly what I wanted, I just can’t believe that it actually happened.”

Tyler’s shoulders dropped and he immediately relaxed, leaning forward a little so that you could press your foreheads together. You looked into his eyes and smiled, admiring their dark brown color. It wasn’t every day that you got to admire him this close up.

Or, maybe, now it was.

“I’m so sorry I let my head get the best of me, Y/N, I promise-”

“Ty, Ty, hey,” you said, reaching up to put your hands on either side of his face. “It’s ok. It doesn’t matter. All of that is behind us now, ok?”

He nodded slowly, immediately relaxing in your hands, “Ok.”

You leaned forward and gently kissed him. It was only going to be a peck, but Tyler hooked a finger under your chin and pulled you in again.

“I love you,” Tyler whispered. The space between your lips was almost nonexistent.

“I love you too.”

You leaned over and pressed your forehead into Tyler’s shoulder, wanting to hide the dorky smile on your face. After the stressful week you had, you could hardly believe that you were sitting here, listening to the boy you had been in love with for years saying the same words right back to you.

“What are you doing?” Tyler laughed as he wrapped his arms around you.

“I just can’t believe this is all happening,” you mumbled into his shoulder, then leaned back to look at him. “This isn’t a dream, right?”

“Not a dream.”

You brought a hand out of your tangle of limbs and blankets and jokingly poked at Tyler’s cheek, making his face scrunch up in laughter. He managed to untangle his own arm from the blankets and grab your wrist, holding it gently between his fingers.

“You’re so gorgeous, Y/N.”

You cast your eyes down towards your lap, still too embarrassed to meet his eyes. It seemed that no amount of dreaming of this moment was enough to prepare you for it actually happening.

“Thanks, Ty.”

He slowly brought your hand to his lips, moving his own so that he was now gently holding your fingers rather than your wrist, and pressed a kiss to your knuckles. You smiled and finally got yourself to meet Tyler’s eyes, immediately feeling your face get hot under his gaze. Your head was still reeling from seeing this soft, romantic side of Tyler that you had only been able to catch glimpses of before.

“You know, I never thought of you as the romantic type,” you said, lightly tracing your thumb along his fingers.

“Neither did I.”

Tyler’s eyes squeezed shut for a moment, but he shook his head and opened them again. You reached out and brushed some of his hair back, making his mouth curl up into a partial smile.

“I love you,” he repeated. “I’m going to keep telling you until you’re tired of hearing it.”

“The joke is on you,” you smiled. “I’m never going to get tired of hearing it. And I love you too.”

Tyler buried his face in his free hand, but you could still just barely make out the bright red color of his ears in the moonlight. You carefully pulled his hand away from his face, revealing the dorky grin that was plastered on it.

“I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of hearing it, either.”

“Hey, Ty, can I ask a dumb question?”

“Sure.”

“Are we like, um, together now? Officially?”

“No.”

“No?” you asked, eyebrows furrowed.

“Neither one of us has officially asked the other one out yet,” he smiled.

“So what you’re saying is that I just made out with my best friend for awhile?”

“Do you not normally do that?”

“No!” you giggled.

“Oh, Josh and I need to stop making out then,” he said, putting on his best serious expression.

“Tyler! This is supposed to be serious,” you said in between laughs.

“Ok, ok,” he smiled, taking a deep breath. “Y/N?”

“Yes?”

“My best friend?”

“Yes?”

“The love of my life?”

“Tyler.”

“The best thing that has ever happened to me?”

“_Tyler_.”

“Ok!” he laughed, reaching out to grab both of your hands. “Will you be my girlfriend? Officially?”

“Of course.”

The words were barely out of your mouth before Tyler’s hands were on you, pulling you towards him in another kiss.

The two of you eventually decided you wanted to do some actual stargazing and made yourself comfortable on the trunk of Tyler’s car. He kept an arm wrapped snugly around your waist as you leaned into him, using his shoulder as a makeshift pillow. It wasn’t the ideal position for stargazing, but you were making it work.

“Wait,” Tyler said softly.

“Hmm?”

“We’re dating now.”

You laughed quietly, “Yes?”

“That means that I get to take you on a date. Like, a real date. And I can pick you up from your house and throw rocks at your window and take you to dinner,” he rambled.

“Yeah, I’m looking forward to that.”

“And we get to spend our lives together. You can come on tour with me once you’re out of school and hang out backstage. And when we’re older we can get a house together out near the woods. And we’ll have a family! Oh man, we’ll get to have a family.”

“Ty, I love you, but you’re getting a little ahead of yourself,” you said, taking his free hand in your own.

“Do you not want to do those things?”

“No, of course I do. I’m just saying that this is all brand new… for both of us. Let’s just focus on the present for now.”

Tyler sighed, “I’m ok with that.”

You turned and kissed Tyler’s cheek. Although you had told him to focus on the present, you couldn’t ignore the fact that in the back of your mind, you were thinking about all the same things that Tyler was rambling about. The thought of waking up next to Tyler every morning when you were older was enough to make your heart flutter.

“What time is it?” you mumbled.

Between Tyler’s arm wrapped protectively around you and the warmth from all the blankets, your eyelids were starting to grow heavy as you looked up at all the stars. Tyler shifted under you as he pulled his phone out of his pocket.

“It’s almost one in the morning.”

“What?” you whisper-yelled. “Where did the time go?”

“Well, you called me at ten, then we had to drive out here, then we talked for awhile, then we kissed, and now we’ve been looking at the stars for at least an hour, if not more.”

“Oh yeah, I guess we did do all that.”

Tyler laughed and pressed a kiss to the top of your head. You wanted to stay here forever, snuggled up with him looking out over Columbus without a care in the world. Based on the way that Tyler had made no effort to move from where he was sitting, you thought the same thing might be on his mind, too.

“What if we spend five more minutes sitting? Then I can take you home.”

“Deal.”

You and Tyler spent that five minutes quietly. He traced small circles onto your shoulder and you listened to his heartbeat. Your eyes were starting to grow heavy and, for just a moment, you thought you might fall asleep before the five minutes were up.

“Y/N,” Tyler whispered, pressing another kiss to your forehead.

“Hmm?”

“It’s been five minutes.”

“Already?”

“Yeah.”

You sighed and sat up straight, stretching your arms out behind you to release some of the tightness in your muscles. Tyler hopped down from the back of his car, still wearing the blanket around his shoulders, and held his hands out toward you. With his help, you managed to get onto the ground without stumbling straight into a bush.

Tyler’s hand was holding yours the instant that the car was turned on. With your free hand, you got the music playing before kicking your feet up on the dash and looking out the window. Tyler had already taken the liberty of rolling the windows down.

“Ty?”

“Yeah?”

“On the night that we hung out before you left - you know, the night when you put your arm around me - did… did you almost tell me how you felt?”

Tyler’s hand squeezed yours for a moment before relaxing again. “Um, yeah. I did.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“I don’t know, I just thought it would be weird to tell you how I felt right before I left for three months. Plus, I was still dealing with all the other crap so I eventually bailed on the idea.”

“But it all worked out in the end.”

“Yeah, it all worked out,” he smiled.

Trees rushed past the open window, blurring into dark blobs in the moonlight. You watched them pass, thinking about the countless times you had been on this exact same drive, wishing that Tyler would reach over and hold your hand. Now he was, and you couldn’t help but wonder how you had gotten so lucky.

Tyler eventually started to talk again, so you tuned your attention back into him. The two of you spent the rest of the drive talking about random topics: when you would tell your families about the relationship, all the times Tyler almost confessed but didn’t, ideas for future dates, and all the other things you had always wanted to ask one another, but never had the guts to.

The porch light was on when you pulled up in front of your house, most likely your dad’s doing. You were always too forgetful to remember to turn it on yourself. Tyler stopped the car once he pulled up against the curb, which you hadn’t been expecting.

“What are you doing?” you asked.

“I’m getting out of the car so that I can give you a proper goodnight kiss. Or, maybe it’s a good morning kiss, depending on how you look at it,” he grinned.

You got out of the car and waited for Tyler to join you on the sidewalk. He rested his hands on your hips and held you close for a moment, just looking into your eyes and smiling like an idiot.

“You’re lovely, did you know that?” he asked.

“Yeah, someone may have written a song about it.”

Tyler laughed and pulled you towards him, finally planting his lips on yours. You wrapped your arms around his neck, holding him close. He started to smile against your lips, making you do the same until you eventually had to pull away.

“One of these days we’ll learn how to kiss without smiling,” you said.

“Yeah, one of these days,” Tyler echoed you before pecking you again.

“Ok, as much as I want to stay here with you, I need to get inside and you need to get home.”

Tyler groaned. “I’m still upset with management for making us move into a place that’s twenty minutes away.”

“Hey, before long you and I will be living in the same apartment.”

“I thought we weren’t getting ahead of ourselves?”

You smiled, “Sometimes it’s fun to fantasize.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too. Drive safe and let me know when you’re home.”

“I will.”

Tyler gave you one final kiss before getting into his car. You waited until he had driven around the corner before walking inside and locking the door behind you. Georgie was in the hallway when you turned around, carefully watching the door.

“I’m impressed that you didn’t try to make an escape, mister,” you said, scooping him into your arms.

Georgie simply rolled over, trying to find a way to escape the arm prison that he had been trapped in. You carried him into your room and dropped him onto the sweatshirt that you now kept for him in the corner. After the incident with Tyler’s sweatshirt, you had learned it was one of the few ways to get him to sleep through the night.

You couldn’t keep the smile off your face as you went through your entire nightly routine, reliving every kiss that you had shared with Tyler. The whole situation felt like a dream that you would wake up from at any moment, even though you knew that it wasn’t. Tyler really loved you. There would be no more mixed signals or lies to worry about, you just got to love him and be loved in return.

Georgie was already half asleep in the corner by the time that you crawled into bed. Even though your eyelids were heavy and it was hard to stay awake, you were determined to wait until you received a text from Tyler before you fell asleep. If your situations were reversed, you knew it was what he would do for you.

The text came a few minutes after you got in bed, just as you were about to succumb to your exhaustion. Your phone vibrating jolted you back away and you clumsily felt around your bed until you found it.

** _Tyler: _ ** _Made it home. Goodnight, lovely :)_

** _Y/N: _ ** _Glad you made it safe! Goodnight, Ty :)_

You barely managed to plug your phone into the charger before you were asleep.


	21. Chapter Twenty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: None
> 
> Word Count: 2209
> 
> Author’s Note: I hope you enjoy this chapter! :)

You would think that after knowing Y/N for almost eight years, I wouldn’t be so nervous walking up to her front door. Yet here I was, standing in front of her door with shaky hands trying to work up the courage to actually knock. Getting out of the car hadn’t been an issue, but this? My hands were staying buried deep in my pockets.

Then it hit me.

I turned away from the door and half-jogged down the walkway, headed straight for the gravel path on the side of her house. There had been times in the past when Y/N had mentioned liking the idea of someone throwing rocks at her window to get her attention, and what better opportunity was there to do that than our first official date? After collecting a small handful of rocks, I stood in the middle of the driveway and looked up at her bedroom window.

“Basketball skills, don’t fail me now,” I muttered under my breath.

The first rock hit the window dead-on. I did a little spin, pleased with myself for actually hitting the target that I had set out to hit, but it still hadn’t grabbed Y/N’s attention. After a quick glance around the street to make sure nobody was giving me weird looks, I threw a couple more rocks at her window.

Y/N finally came to the window, looking frustrated. In a panic, I chucked all the rocks in my hand back towards the pathway and dusted my palms off on my jeans. She slid the window open and leaned forward, resting her forearms on the windowsill.

“Ty!” she called. “What in the world do you think you’re doing?”

I looked up at her, using one hand to keep the sun out of my eyes. “I thought it would be romantic!”

“Yeah, until you scratch up my window and my dad has to replace it,” she laughed.

“Sorry!”

“It’s ok! I’ll be down in just a moment.”

I didn’t wait for Y/N to shut the window before I wandered back over to the front door. My face felt a little hot from our encounter, but I hoped the blush would fade before she opened the door to greet me. If not, well, maybe she would think it was cute.

“Hi,” Y/N smiled as she opened the door.

“Hey.”

“Ready to go?”

“I am if you are.”

“Great.”

Y/N closed the front door and held out a hand to me. I laced my fingers with hers and followed her down the path to the car, already feeling my heart pound in my chest.

“Y/N, wait,” I said.

“What?” she asked, stopping in her tracks to turn to me.

I used our linked hands to pull her closer to me and press a quick kiss to her lips.

“It’s nice to see you again.”

“You too,” she smiled.

“Ok, now let’s get out of here.”

* * *

“I really hope you like what I have planned,” I said, nervously tapping my thumbs against the steering wheel.

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“I guess, well, it’s not really like a typical date. I thought it might be boring to go get dinner or whatever since we’ve already done that together so many times and I really want our first date to be memorable.”

Y/N reached over and rested a hand on my shoulder. “Ty, I’m sure I’m going to love whatever we end up doing because I get to do it with you.”

“It’s time to find out.”

I pulled into the parking lot of my favorite record store. Y/N and I had been here countless times before to pick up CDs from our favorite artists or just get inspiration for stuff that I was working on, but today I had something different planned.

“Are we going to the record store?” Y/N asked, turning to me.

“Yeah, but… ok, so I have this idea,” I said, suddenly growing very nervous.

“What’s the idea?”

“So I thought we could like, I don’t know, pick out a CD or two for one another, because I thought that might be the kind of thing you would like to do. And then we can go back to your house and sit on the porch and listen to our new music while we watch the sunset and see if there’s any songs that we really like and, maybe, they could be, like, one of our songs.”

“Ty, that’s the best idea I’ve ever heard,” she smiled. “Picking out music for one another? It’s perfect.”

“You think so?”

“Yes!”

I leaned back against my seat and exhaled, relieved to know that Y/N was on board with the idea. Not to mention that she was getting visibly excited, making her look even more adorable than was typical of her. It was hard not to just stare at her and admire the look of pure joy on her face.

“What are we waiting for? I want to pick out some CDs!”

“Ok! Ok, I’m coming,” I laughed, already fumbling to take my keys out of the ignition.

I wrapped an arm around Y/N as we walked into the record store. There were a few other people wandering around - some that I recognized - but they didn’t pay much attention as we walked in and began to slowly make our way through the rows of CDs and vinyls. It had been too long since I had last been in this store.

“Are you going to follow me around the whole time?” Y/N laughed as she picked up a CD to examine.

“No, I’ll start looking eventually. I’m just taking everything in for now.”

She leaned her head against my shoulder for a moment to show that she had heard me. I stood with her awhile longer until she eventually sent me away, claiming that she didn’t want me to accidentally see the CD that she chose for me. After a quick warning to each other to be serious about our choices, I wandered off to the other side of the store.

I lost track of how long we spent in the record store, looking over CDs and occasionally holding one up for the other to see and joking that it was our choice. To tell the truth, it hadn’t taken me long at all to choose a CD for Y/N. The second that I saw Brand New Eyes by Paramore, I knew it was the right choice.

“Are you almost ready, Ty?” Y/N asked from a few rows over.

“I’ve been ready. What about you?”

“Yeah, I’m finally ready. I would spend hours in here if it weren’t for the rest of our plans,” she smiled.

“You and me both.”

We both made our purchases, still being sure to keep them hidden from the other’s view, and then headed back out to the car. I passed my bag to Y/N before pulling my seatbelt on.

“Are we looking at them now?” she asked, already starting to open the bag.

“No! Not yet. I just didn’t want to hold it while driving,” I smiled.

“Right,” she laughed. “When we get back to my house, then?”

“Perfect.”

I held Y/N’s hand the entire way back to the house. It might have been excessive, but now that I had her, I never wanted to let her go. I had spent enough time denying myself the happiness that Y/N brought into my life.

“My mom just texted me that I have to feed Georgie,” Y/N said as we pulled up in front of her house. “So do you want to run upstairs and grab my CD player while I do that?”

“Perfect,” I answered. The car shuddered to a stop.

I followed Y/N inside and kicked my shoes off by the door before running upstairs. Her CD player was sitting on top of her dresser, next to a stack of CDs. It took a bit of work for me to get all the cords and everything wrapped up in my arms, but I eventually managed to get all the essential parts downstairs to where Y/N was waiting.

“Oh geez, Ty,” Y/N said, rushing to my side as I reached the bottom of the stairs. “I didn’t expect you to get it all in one go.”

It was a relief when she took some of the stuff from me so that it was no longer digging into my arms. Together, we carried it over to the counter and set it down.

“We’re going to need an extension cord if we want to play it outside,” she sighed.

“Do you have one?”

“Yes, it’s just in the garage. I’ll go grab it real quick.”

Y/N disappeared through the door in the kitchen, leaving me alone with her cat. Georgie turned to look at me for a moment before returning to loudly crunching his food. I turned and leaned against the counter while I waited for Y/N to come back.

“Got it!” she announced proudly, kicking the garage door closed behind her. “But before we get that set up, I want to see what CD you got for me.”

I grabbed the bag that held the CD I had picked out for her, made obvious by the folds on the bag from where she had repeatedly bent it during our car ride home. She grabbed the other one.

“You first? Or me?” she asked.

“It’s up to you.”

“Um, then I want to open mine first.”

“Here you go,” I smiled, handing her the bag in my hands.

She chewed on her bottom lip for a moment before opening the bag. Her eyebrows furrowed a little as she pulled the CD out and looked it over.

“Paramore?” she asked.

“Yeah. Josh and I had the chance to meet them and go to one of their shows when we were on tour. They have really good music that I think you’ll really like. Plus, there may or may not be a love song on there”

She smiled up at me. “I love it, Ty. I can’t wait to give it a listen.”

“I’m glad.”

“I really hope you like what I picked out,” she said as she passed me the bag from the counter.

“Death Cab for Cutie? No way,” I grinned as I looked over the CD. “Is this new?”

“Yeah, they released it when you were on tour. Since you hadn’t played it in the car at all, I thought you might have missed it because you were so busy.”

“I totally did. Man, Y/N, this is great.”

“You like it?”

“Of course I do.”

I set the CD down on the counter and pulled her into a hug.

“Should we try and get the CD player set up now?” she mumbled into my shoulder.

“Yeah, let’s do it.”

Y/N and I spent the next five minutes figuring out how to set up the CD player so that we would be able to hear music while sitting on the porch, all while trying to decide which one we even wanted to listen to first. We eventually settled on Paramore, since it was an album that both of us were less familiar with.

“Ok, hitting play now,” Y/N announced.

Quiet music began to play through the speaker. Y/N turned to me with a cheesy smile, pleased that we had been able to actually get it to work. After adjusting the volume to an acceptable level, she joined me on the edge of the porch. My arm was around her before she had even gotten comfortable.

“Now what?” she asked.

“We sit and listen.”

And that’s exactly what we did. Aside from the occasional comment between songs or a bit of conversation here and there, we sat and quietly listened to the music, enjoying one another’s company and waiting for the sun to set.

As soon as The Only Exception started playing, a new idea popped into my head. I stood up and held a hand out to Y/N, but she simply looked at me with furrowed eyebrows.

“What are you doing?”

“_We’re_ dancing.”

Y/N immediately began to smile as she placed her hand in mine. I helped her stand up from the porch and led her out into the middle of the grass. She giggled quietly as I pulled her close and placed my hands on her hips.

“You’re gorgeous, did you know that?” I asked quietly.

“I may have been told once or twice.”

She was, with her eyes shining in the sunlight and that familiar goofy smile on her lips. It was hard to believe that there was ever a time that I had almost let her go.

“Was this an ok first date?”

“Ty, it was perfect. I couldn’t have asked for a better day.”

“And it isn’t over yet,” I smiled.

“Do you have more planned?”

“Just more dancing. And maybe some snacks.”

Y/N laughed. “I like dancing and snacks.”

“I know you do.”

I leaned down and kissed her.

“I love you,” I whispered.

“I love you too.”

“You mean it?”

She smiled. “I mean it.”


	22. Chapter Twenty One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: None
> 
> Word Count: 2119
> 
> Author’s Note: I hope you enjoy this chapter! :)

“Tyler!” you squealed as you felt him press a kiss to your cheek. “Kisses are cheating!”

“Says who?” he laughed from behind you.

“Says me. Add it to the list of rules.”

You were currently sitting in between Tyler’s legs, your back pressed to his chest, playing one of your classic Mario Kart tournaments. It had been smooth sailing for the most part, until Tyler decided to use how you were sitting to his advantage. He would give you kisses every now and again or wrap his arms around you when he finished a race, all of which proved to be excellent ways to keep you from scoring enough points to get ahead of him.

“But what if I don’t agree?”

“Too bad.”

Tyler wrapped his arms around you and rested his head on your shoulder, making sure to stick out his bottom lip for you to see.

“Not fair,” he whined.

“You only think it isn’t fair because it means I’ll have a better chance of getting first place.”

“That’s not true!”

“Yes it is! Or you wouldn’t have a problem with the no kisses rule.”

“Fine. What if we do one more race with no kisses and if you win, then we can make that rule. If I win, then I can keep kissing you during Mario Kart.”

“Deal.”

You and Tyler shook hands and you clicked on the next race button. Tyler tensed up a little bit behind you as you waited for the race to begin.

“Scared, Joseph?”

“You wish.”

The race began and you took off. Tyler’s arms bumped against yours occasionally, but you knew it was only a side effect of sitting against him and not intentional sabotage on his part. By some miracle, you were actually managing to stay ahead of Tyler, despite all of his best attempts to take you down in game.

“Come back here!” Tyler laughed. He had nearly caught up to you, but a well-timed drift had given you just enough of a boost to keep your lead.

“Never! I can and will win this race and make the rule official.”

One lap later, you successfully crossed the finish line in first place. You waited for Tyler to finish before jumping up and dancing around the room, celebrating your victory.

“Take that, Joseph! No more kissing me as a distraction during races.”

“That was your favorite level! Of course you beat me at it!”

“Then you shouldn't have agreed to the deal,” you grinned, sitting back down next to Tyler.

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, twisting a couple of the strands through his fingers. He looked so disappointed that it almost made you feel bad, so you leaned forward and kissed him, which had him smiling again in no time. Shortly after, he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into his chest. You laughed and threw your arms around him, steadying yourself.

“You know, I’m going to miss days like this when you leave for tour again,” you said.

“Hey, I’m not leaving for a long time. We just got back from our last tour, plus we have to do the final touches on Vessel and get in contact with venues and all sorts of technical stuff that you don’t care about,” he smiled. “I’m not leaving for a long time.”

“Good, because I like having you around.”

“And in the meantime, I’m going to continue to destroy you at Mario Kart,” he laughed.

“Is that a challenge?”

“Obviously.”

You were about to start the next set of races when someone knocked on the door downstairs. Georgie immediately sprinted out of the room to investigate, and you figured it would probably be a good idea for you to follow him and figure out what was going on.

“You can wait here, Ty,” you said.

“Ok.”

You quietly crept down the stairs and over to the door so that you could get a glimpse of who was outside. The strangers’ voices were audible, but too muffled for you to be able to make out who it was. Thankfully, all it took was one glimpse of a familiar head of Y/H/C hair to recognize who it was.

“Carter!” you smiled as you opened the door.

“And Marenna!” Marenna added with a smile.

“Yes! Hi! Come in,” you said, opening the door wider for them.

“I hope we aren’t interrupting anything,” Carter said as he walked inside. “But Mom texted me earlier today saying her and Dad were going to visit Aunt Jane and I thought you might like some company.”

“And we brought lunch,” Marenna said, holding up a bag from your favorite fast food place.

“No way!” you grinned. “Thank you so much! And, um, Tyler is actually over, but I’m sure he won’t mind the company.”

“Joseph is here? I haven’t seen him in forever.”

“Hey, Ty!” you called up the stairs.

“Yeah?”

“Come down here! Carter and Marenna are here!”

“I’m coming!”

Marenna leaned over towards you, dropping her voice to a whisper, “Do I finally get to officially meet the infamous Tyler?”

“Yeah,” you said, biting back a smile.

Although you and Tyler had been dating for a couple weeks now, you had yet to tell Carter and Marenna that it was official. Because of everything that had happened in the past and with Josh, the two of you had decided to keep it on the downlow, at least for awhile. You figured today was the day they would finally find out the truth.

“Hey, Joseph! Long time, no see,” Carter said as he came down the stairs.

“Nice to see you again!”

“Tyler, this is Marenna. Marenna, Tyler.”

“Nice to finally meet you,” Marenna said, holding out a hand to shake Tyler’s.

“You too.”

“Ok, I don’t know about you three, but I’m starving so I’m going to head to the kitchen and start eating,” Carter said, hardly taking a moment to take off his shoes before he was walking down the hall.

Marenna jokingly rolled her eyes at you, making you giggle. Tyler smiled and followed after the two of you.

“I didn’t realize you were here, otherwise I would have gotten you a full meal, Joseph,” Carter said as he laid everything out.

“It’s fine, I can share some of my food with him,” you said.

“You sure?”

“Yeah, I’m not super hungry so it isn’t a big deal.”

“Ok, I was going to say he could have some of mine, if he wanted.”

“Thanks, Car. For the food and being willing to share.”

“Of course,” he smiled.

“So, what have you two been up to lately?” Marenna asked, shooting you a look when Tyler wasn’t looking.

“Well, um,” you turned to Tyler and dropped your voice to a whisper, “should we tell them?”

“Tell us what?” Carter asked. Tyler didn’t even have a chance to answer before Carter was talking again. “Wait, hold on. No. You aren’t… are you?”

“Oh my god,” Marenna gasped. One of her hands flew up to cover her mouth.

“I guess you don’t get a choice,” you laughed.

“It’s a good thing I was going to say yes, anyway,” Tyler smiled, wrapping an arm around your waist.

“Y/N!” Carter said. “How long has this been going on?”

“A couple weeks?” you smiled sheepishly.

“Weeks?” Marenna and Carter gasped in unison.

“And I’m only finding out about it now?” Marenna added.

“We were keeping it on the downlow! I was going to tell you soon enough.”

“It finally happened.” Carter shook his head. “We’re going to have a talk later, Joseph,” he added, pointing a finger at Tyler.

Tyler tensed up next to you, so you reached a hand up to lightly rub at his back.

“Car, do you really have to do that?” you sighed.

“Yes, because I care about you. Both of you.”

“It’s fine, Y/N. I think I’ve more than earned a talk with Carter at this point.”

You held your hands up in defeat, “If you say so.”

Marenna shot you a look, nearly making you giggle again. You managed to hold it back by taking a bite of food and looking around the kitchen.

The four of you talked for awhile longer while you finished up your food. You and Tyler had to fill Carter and Marenna in on everything that had happened since you had last talked with Marenna about the entire situation. Tyler also gave some explanation as to why he had lied to you for so long. Thankfully, Carter and Marenna were really understanding and didn’t go off on him like you initially had.

“Alright, Joseph, let’s talk,” Carter said as he wiped his hands off on a napkin.

“Now?”

“Yeah, let’s go outside.”

You gave Tyler a couple reassuring pats on the back before he followed Carter outside. Since this was your first real relationship, you had absolutely no idea what Carter was going to say to Tyler. Marenna noticed your distress and patted the seat of the stool next to her, inviting you to take a seat.

“It’s going to be ok, Y/N. I assure you that he isn’t going to say anything ridiculous or scare Tyler away.”

“I hope not,” you said, glancing out the sliding glass door at the two of them. “I’ve waited years to be with Tyler and if Carter swoops in and ruins it after a few weeks… well, you can imagine I wouldn’t be happy.”

Marenna laughed and placed a hand on your shoulder, “He won’t, don’t worry. Also, speaking of Tyler, I know I’ve seen pictures of him before but, man, is he cute in person.”

“Right?” You turned to Marenna with the biggest smile on your face. “I just want to stare at him all the time.”

“I’m so glad you two are together. I can just tell how happy you make one another. It’s nice to see, especially after how upset you were for awhile there, you know?”

“You don’t have to tell me twice. I’m just glad that it all worked out in the end.”

“You ended up with the person who you were meant to end up with.”

“I see you and Carter have been sharing inspirational sayings,” you laughed.

“He was so proud of that one. I was over at his apartment the day after you two had that conversation and he wouldn’t shut up about how smart he felt when he said it.”

You shook your head. “You know Carter, he has to take the little victories where he can.”

“Exactly,” she grinned. “Oh! Look who decided to show up.”

You looked down towards your feet, only to see Georgie circling around the legs of the stool. Marenna scooted back so that she could pick him up and hold him in her arms. She was one of the few people you knew, aside from yourself, that Georgie would actually allow himself to be held by for more than a few minutes.

“He probably just finished making a mess.”

“Probably,” Marenna sighed. “But he still looks cute, anyway.”

“He does.”

Your conversation was ended by the sound of the sliding glass door being opened. Tyler and Carter were both laughing as they walked inside, which you took as a good sign.

“You didn’t scare him off, did you?” Marenna asked, turning to look at the two of them.

“I didn’t scare him off,” Carter said. “We just had a nice talk.”

You turned to Tyler and raised your eyebrows, hoping for some confirmation. He smiled and gave you a subtle thumbs up.

“Thanks for not scaring my boyfriend away, Car.”

“Anytime, Y/N.”

“Now what?” you asked.

“I mean, we do have a Mario Kart tournament to finish,” Tyler chimed in.

“That’s it! We can finally have a tournament with everyone in it and figure out who the champion is,” you smiled. “Carter? Marenna? You in?”

“You already know I’m in,” Carter said.

“As am I.”

“Then let’s do it.”

The four of you spent the rest of the night in the den, sitting in front of fans as you played round after round of Mario Kart. You told each other stories, came up with all sorts of crazy rules for races, threw creative insults at one another, and just generally enjoyed spending time together. Georgie even came and sat with you for awhile. To your surprise, Tyler didn’t cringe in fear as he came wandering into the room and stepped over his legs.

It was hard for you to believe, sometimes, that you were surrounded by this many people that loved you, but you also knew that you wouldn’t trade it for the world.


	23. Chapter Twenty Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Angst
> 
> Word Count: 1985
> 
> Author’s Note: Ok, so I have a lot to cover in this author’s note. First of all, yes, this the last chapter of this book. Second, this chapter takes place around seven months after the last one (big jump, I know). Third, I’ve been hard at work on the final book of this series and it will be coming soon, so you can look forward to that. And finally, I hope you enjoy this chapter :)

“When do you leave again?” Y/N asked. She was currently sitting on my bed, helping fold the last load of laundry that I had finished that morning.

“Tomorrow morning, way earlier than I care to wake up,” I laughed.

“You have a full tour bus now, though, so napping won’t even be a big deal.”

“Yeah, I guess you do have a point.”

After seven months of album finalizations and tour preparations, Josh and I were finally leaving on another tour. It was a bigger tour this time, with more destinations and more countries than the last one we had been on. The last week had been a mixture of nerves and excitement as we got ready to leave.

“Is this your last bag of stuff?”

“Yeah. I’ll have to throw all my toiletries in tomorrow morning, but other than that everything is packed.”

“It doesn’t even look like that much stuff.”

“That’s because it’s only my stuff. When you add it with Josh’s and all the other crew members', it starts to look like a lot more.”

“Yeah, I suppose that does make a difference.”

Y/N folded up the last shirt from the pile that she had offered to help with and put it into the bag. I grabbed my last few jackets from the closet and tossed them onto the bed to be folded later. Right now, I was double checking all of my drawers to make sure I had remembered absolutely everything I needed.

“Hey, is my ski mask in there?”

“It sounds like you’re packing for a bank heist,” she laughed.

“We’d probably make more money from a bank heist.”

“Hey! You guys are starting to get pretty popular.”

“Just because we’re popular doesn’t mean people are going to show up,” I said, shooting her a look.

“People are going to show up, Ty. They wouldn’t be booking you shows in other countries if people didn’t want to see you.”

“Yeah, I guess. Can you check for the ski mask now?”

“Right, sorry.”

There was some rustling as Y/N looked through my bag for the ski mask. I continued to check drawers and under the bed for somewhere I might have stuck it without thinking.

“Found it!” she said triumphantly.

“White or black?”

“Um, looks like both.”

“Ok, perfect. You can put them back in there, I’m just worried about finding replacements if I forget them.”

“Yeah, that would be difficult. How much more do you need to pack?”

“Just those jackets right next to you and I’m sure there’s something I’m forgetting.”

“I doubt you’re forgetting anything, Ty. You’re just stressed and _thinking_ you’re forgetting something.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right,” I said, taking a moment to actually stand still rather than pacing the room. I looked over to Y/N, only to realize she was folding up my jackets. “Hey, you don’t have to do that. You’ve helped me enough already.”

“I don’t mind,” she said, pausing her folding for a moment to look at me. “You’re stressed and this is an easy way for me to help.”

“I know. I just feel bad that we’re supposed to be spending time together and all you’re doing is folding clothes.”

“Tyler, come here,” she said, holding an arm out for me. I walked over and sat down, allowing myself to be pulled into her side. “I would rather come over here and fold your clothes than sit at home alone and wish I was spending time with you. Don’t worry about me, ok?”

“Ok,” I said, forcing a smile. “Thank you, love. It means a lot that you’re helping.”

“Of course. Now why don’t you sit here for a moment and take a breather while I finish folding these jackets? That might remind you of what you’re forgetting.”

“Ok.”

I sat and watched Y/N carefully fold my jackets while I mentally ran over my packing checklist. Y/N and I had already triple checked the list she helped me make, but I still couldn’t shake the feeling that something was missing.

“Wait! I think I’ve got it,” I smiled.

I got off the bed and bent down so that I was eye-level with my mattress. Y/N gave me a funny look as I flipped up the comforter and stuck an arm under the mattress, feeling around until my fingers met the smooth surface of my notebook.

“My notebook,” I said, holding it up for emphasis.

“No wonder you almost forgot it, it’s buried under your bed,” she laughed.

“I like to keep it hidden! I don’t want anybody reading it.”

“But now I know where you keep it hidden.”

“Yeah, but I trust you.”

I pressed a kiss to Y/N’s head as I grabbed the jackets from her arms and put them into my bag, burying the notebook in between a couple of them where it was less likely to be spotted.

“Is that everything?” she asked.

“I think so,” I said, rifling through the bag real quick just to double check. “Now we get to relax.”

I grabbed the bag of stuff from the bed and tossed it down onto the floor where I wouldn’t be able to miss it in the morning. Y/N immediately took advantage of all the space on my bed and stretched out. She squealed as I collapsed down next to her, making the bed bounce a little beneath us.

“I’m exhausted,” I sighed.

“Me too, and I only had to fold some shirts,” she giggled.

I scooted closer to Y/N and wrapped my arms around her, holding her as close to me as I possibly could. As much as I didn’t want to think about it, deep down I knew this would be my last chance to be this close to her for the next few months so I intended to take full advantage of it.

“You know something, Ty?”

“Hmm?”

“Shortly after we started dating, you told me that you weren’t going to be clingy forever because at the beginning you were just making up for lost time, but I’m starting to think that might not be the case,” she laughed.

“Who says I’m not still making up for lost time? We’ve only been together for seven months, but I liked you for like three years.”

“Don’t get me wrong, I have no problem with it. I just thought it was funny.”

“Good, because I’m not getting any less clingy.” I leaned forward to press a kiss to her cheek.

“I wish I could come with you on tour. I could be your photographer or something.”

“I wish you could too. But you have school to focus on.”

“No, I know. I’m just going to miss you so much. It’s hard being away from you.”

Y/N sniffled right as I was about to say something else. I was sitting upright in an instant, holding one of my hands on her arm and using the other to wipe away a tear that had slipped down her cheek.

“I’m sorry. I really didn’t want to get all emotional before you left. I don’t want that to be our last memory before you leave.”

“Hey, don’t apologize for crying. It’s ok to be upset that I’m leaving, it’s hard for me to be away from you too.”

I pulled Y/N closer so that she was sitting between my legs. She immediately leaned into me and wrapped her arms around my torso. My hands traced idle patterns onto her arms in an attempt to soothe her.

“It’s just that… I was so worried the last time that you left, you know? I had no idea where we stood with one another and you being gone was this big, scary, unknown thing that I didn’t quite know how to handle. And I know things are different now, obviously, but that uncertainty keeps popping up.”

I was frustrated with myself for ever letting Y/N feel that way, but I knew now wasn’t the time to worry about the past. We had our whole future in front of us.

“But we made it work, right? Even though it was a big, scary thing, I never gave up on you.”

“You didn’t.”

“And I promise you that I’m not going to give up this time, either. I love you, Y/N. I loved you then and I love you now and I’m not going to let anything come in between us.”

“I’m just so scared of losing you.”

“You’re not going to lose me.”

She turned so that she could look at me. “Promise?”

I brought my right hand in between us and extended my pinky. “Promise.”

She smiled and locked her pinky with mine, holding on to it tightly. With pinkies still interlocked, I leaned forward and kissed her gently.

“There, now it’s like a double promise.”

“I don’t think that’s a thing, Ty,” she giggled.

“I just made it a thing.”

“I’m sorry I ruined our last day by crying.”

I let go of her pinky and fully wrapped my arms around her again. “You didn’t ruin anything.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure. All that matters to me is that I get to spend my last full day in Columbus with you.”

“Thanks, Ty.”

“Hey, I think I have an idea to cheer you up.”

I got up and grabbed my ukulele from the other side of the room. Y/N sat quietly and watched as I tuned it, bouncing between singing notes to myself and messing with the ukulele.

“Oh no,” Y/N muttered as I turned to her. There was already the slightest hint of a smile on her lips.

“Oh yes,” I grinned.

“Ty, I might start crying again.”

“That’s ok,” I said as I begin to play the opening chords of Can’t Help Falling In Love. I had learned it shortly after we started dating and it had quickly become one of our many songs.

Y/N was hastily wiping away tears with the back of her hand by the time I finished the song and set my ukulele down. As soon as my instrument was out of the way, she leaned forward and wrapped her arms around me, giving me a quick kiss before hugging me tightly.

“They’re happy tears, I promise,” she mumbled into my shoulder.

“I’m glad that my ukulele playing wasn’t so bad that it made you cry,” I laughed.

She sat back on the bed again, tucking her legs up underneath her. I reached out and grabbed her hands, lacing my fingers between hers.

“How is that for a last memory?”

“I think it was perfect.”

“I’m going to be back before you know it, Y/N. And I’m still going to be just as in love with you as I am now, if not more so.”

“I love you so much, Tyler.”

“I love you too. Now what do you say we make some dinner, watch some TV, and enjoy what time we have left before you have to get home?”

“I say that sounds like a great plan.”

I gave her another kiss before standing up and helping her off the bed. She leaned into my side as we walked into the kitchen, already discussing what we wanted to make with what little food Josh and I had left in the kitchen. It wasn’t long before we were coming up with the wildest answers we could think of in an attempt to make the other person laugh.

I loved Y/N more than words could explain and there was no doubt in my mind about the life that I wanted to share with her. No matter how far I traveled or how many shows I played or how many people I met, she would always be the one I wanted to come home to.

**END OF BOOK TWO.**


End file.
